Transcript: Dog Rules - Talking To Kids' Teacher | Nov 01, 2000

(music plays)
In animation, the title appears inside the shape of a house: “More to Family.”

The opening sequence shows a wooden table with a small lit candle as several words fly by: Relationships, education, caregivers, home, family.
Fast clips show different sets of hands performing activities on the table such as pulling petals from a daisy, drawing a big red heart, tuning a violin, flipping through the pages of a book, cooking, and pouring a glass of red wine.
In animation, the title appears inside the shape of a house: “More to life.”

Then, Maureen Taylor appears in a studio with yellow walls and a small TV set in the background, which reads “More to life.”

Maureen is in her late thirties, with wavy blond hair in a bob. She's wearing a blue zip-up blazer over a black turtleneck sweater.

Maureen says HELLO, I'M
MAUREEN TAYLOR AND WELCOME
TO “MORE TO LIFE.”
TODAY ON THE PROGRAMME, DOGS,
KIDS, AND AN EXTRA SPECIAL
VERSION OF O CANADA.
IF THE THOUGHT OF TALKING TO
YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER MAKES
YOU BREAK OUT IN A COLD
SWEAT, THEN STAY TUNED.
BUT FIRST, AUTHOR WILLIAM
THOMAS IS HERE WITH HIS DOG JAKE.

William and Jake sit on two red armchairs. Jake is a black and white border collie. William is in his fifties, clean-shaven, with short wavy gray hair. He’s wearing a gray coat over a checkered blue shirt, and blue jeans.

Maureen continues WELL, BILL IS A SYNDICATED
HUMOUR COLUMNIST AND AUTHOR
OF “THE DOG RULES DAMN NEAR
EVERYTHING.”

The book appears briefly. The cover features a picture of William and Jake.

Maureen continues IT'S GREAT TITLE AND THE
BOOK IS FULL OF A LOT OF
TIPS FOR DOG OWNERS AND HI
THERE BILL, AND HEY THERE
JAKE.
IS HE GOING TO GET DOWN?

William says IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE
INTRO.
COME ON UP.
COME ON UP.

Maureen says DO YOU WANT TO
GET UP, ZAIK.

William says IT WAS A LONG DRIVE IN,
AND HE'S A LITTLE ANTSY.

Maureen says I'M JUST WIND
GERG JAKE THINKS MAYBE HE'S
NOT SUPPOSED TO BE UP ON THE
FURNITURE.

William says NO, MAUREEN, IF YOU HAD A
DOG, THEY ALL THINK THEY'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE UP ON THE
FURNITURE.

Maureen says DO YOU HAVE
ACTUAL RULES IN YOUR HOUSE
FOR JAKE?

William says OH, YEAH.
THERE'S ONE THAT COVERS THAT,
ACTUALLY AND THE DOG NEVER
GOES ON THE FURNITURE,
PERIOD.
OKAY THE DOG CAN GO ON THE
OLD FURNITURE, BUT NOT THE
NEW FURNITURE.
THE DOG CAN GO ON THE NEW
FURNITURE UNTIL IT LOOKS
LIKE THE OLD FURNITURE, THEN
WE'LL SELL ALL THE BLOODY
FURNITURE IN THE SALE WITH
THE DOG HOUSE, BUT HE'S NOT
ALLOWED TO GO ON THE BED AND
THEN IT STARTS ALL OVER
AGAIN.

Maureen says AND I LIKE THE
TENTH RULE, YOU'VE GOT A
SPECIAL ROCKER-RECLINER IN
THE HOUSE OBVIOUSLY.

She reads from William’s book
OKAY, IF THE DOG ACTIVATES
THE SWIVEL GLIDER MECHANISM
COMPE GETS SICK, HE CLEANS
IT UP HIMSELF.

William says THAT'S IT.
THAT'S THE LAST RULE.
THEY'RE ABSOLUTELY OUT OF
CONTROL AND RUIN YOUR LIFE
AND YOU'RE, YOU LOVE THEM TO
DEATH.

A caption appears on screen. It reads "William Thomas. ‘The dog rules.’"

Maureen says YOU WERE ONCE A
CAT LOVER.
YOU WERE A CAT GUY.
WHAT HAPPENED?

William says I HAD CATS FOR 25 YEARS.
I HAD CATS THAT PASSED AWAY
AT 18 YEARS OF AGE, AND I
HAD HIM FOREVER.
I WAS MARRIED AT ONE TIME,
AND IT WAS ONE OF THOSE
THINGS WHERE I WANTED TO GET
A DOG AND MY WIFE WANTED TO
GET A CAT?
SO WE DID ONE OF THOSE
MARITAL COMPROMISES.
WE GOT TWO CATS.
AND A COUPLE WEEKS LATER TWO
MORE.
SO THAT WHEN THE MARRIAGE
ENDED SHE GOT A CUT HAS
CONVERTIBLE AND I GOT
MALCOLM, THIS CAT.
AND SINCE I HAD NOWHERE TO
GO I STARTED WRITING ABOUT
HIM.
SO I ABSOLUTELY ADORE CATS,
AND I HAD HIM -- BUT I SAID
A CAT A COUPLE YEARS AGO
THAT PASSED AWAY, A VERY
YOUNG SCAT AND IT REALLY SET
ME BACK AND I HAVE TWO
FRIENDS WHO HAVE BORDER
COLLIES AND CONVINCED ME I
NEEDED TO GET A DOG.
SO THAT'S WHERE JAKE
ENTERS THE PICTURE.
AFTER HAVING HIM I'VE
NOTICED THERE'S A BIG
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CATS AND
DOGS.
HAVING A SCAT LIKE HAVING A
PET AND HAVING A DOUG IS
LIKE A REALLY STUPID
BROTHER-IN-LAW WHO NEEDS YOU
TO LOOK AFTER THEM.
THEY'RE JUST ANOTHER HUMAN
BEING, THEY REALLY ARE!

Maureen says TELL US ABOUT
AFTER THE FIRST MORNING
AFTER THE FIRST NIGHT WITH
JAKE IN HOUR HOUSE.

William says I'LL CLEAN THIS UP,
MAUREEN, BECAUSE IT'S A
FAMILY SHOW.
HERE'S THE BEST.
HE SHOWS UP ON THE BORDER
collie RESCUE FOUNDATION
WEBSITE, WHATEVER.
NOW WE HAVE A THING IN THIS
COUNTRY THAT TRACKS BORDER
COLLIES, RIGHT?

Maureen says WE DO?

William says YES, A BORDER collie
RESCUE FOUNDATION.
AS I SAID IN THE BOOK WE
DON'T KNOW WHO GOT THE 5
MILLION dollars IN THE AIRBUS
SCANDAL, NOT SURE WHO MACED
WHO IN THE APEC SCANDAL OR
WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THE
BLOOD SCANDAL BUT WE KNOW
WHERE EVERY DAMN BORDER
collie IS AT ANY POINT IN
TIME.
SO CANADIAN.
SO I GO UP THERE AND I GET
THIS DOG AND WE DON'T REALLY
LIKE EACH OTHER AND I DON'T
THINK I NEED A DOG AND HE'S
BEEN BOUNCED AROUND TO A
WHOLE BUNCH OF HOME EXAMINES
THINGS LIKE THAT.
ANYHOW, IT'S A LONG DRIVE
BACK TO WAYNEFLEET AND I GET
HIM HOME AND WE'RE NOT
GETTING ALONG BECAUSE HE'S
BEEN PASSED BACK AND PORT
AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
FOR HIM SO I CUT UP SOME
STAKEPOTATOES, FOOT ON A
NEWSPAPER, GIVE HIM SOME
WATER AND I GO TO BED.
I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND
I WALK OUT PAST MY LIVING
ROOM.
I LIVE ON THE LAKE IN WAN
SPEMD FLEET AND I FORGET I
HAVE A DOG.
ALL OF A SUDDEN I SEE
SOMETHING MOVE ON THE COUCH
AND I LOOK AND THERE'S THIS
THING, THIS BLACK BLOB ON
THE COUCH ALL FOUR PAWS IN
THE AIR, HE'S GOT THIS
STUPID GRIN ON HIS FACE IS
JUST PASSED HIM IS, ON THE
CARPET, THAT I CARRIED OUT
OF MOROCCO IN THE '60s ON MY
BACK, IT'S ABOUT FOUR POUNDS
OF DOG DO.

As Jake is shown, a caption reads “Jake Hoover Thomas. Border Collie-Australian Shepherd.”

Maureen says THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU FED HIM STAKE AND
POTATOES.

William says AND DIDN'T WALK HIM
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT DOGS.
AND HE GIVES ME THIS LOOK,
BIG SMILE LIKE BILL, THIS IS
GREAT, STAKE AND POTATOES, I
CAN SLEEP ON THE COUCH AND I
DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GO OUT TO
GO TO THE BATHROOM.

Maureen says WHAT IS YOUR
GOAL WITH THE DOG RULES?
IS IT A HOW-TO BOOK FOR DOG
OWNERS OR A HOW NOT TO BOOK
FOR OWNERS?

William says IF THEY READ THE BOOK,
IT'LL SAVE THEM THE 2000
MISTAKES I MADE IN TRYING TO
TRAIN HIM.
BASICALLY THAT'S IT.
YOU'RE LOOKING AT A COMPLETE
FAILURE, THE TEAM HERE SO I
HAVE TRIED TO TRAIN HIM, BUT
THE FACT IS I LOVE HIM TOO
MUCH TO REALLY GIVE HIM HELL
SO, HE JUST RUNS THE HOUSE.

Maureen says AND TELL US
ABOUT THE PHOTO ON THE
COVER.
THAT'S BILL AND JAKE
BELLYING UP TO A BAR.
IT LOOKS LIKE YOU BOTH HAVE
A BEER.
WHAT'S HAPPENING THERE?

William says WE SHOT THAT COVER IN
WINCHESTER'S PUB IN PORT
COBOURNE NEAR THE TOWN WHERE
I LIVE.
IF YOU SEE THE COVER YOU'LL
NOTICE I HAVE THE SMALL BEER
AND I'M IN THE BACKGROUND,
JAKE HAS THE BIG BEER, THE
BIG PINT AND IN FRONT OF
JAKE IS THE MONEY CLIP AND
THE CAR KEYS.
SO THE MESSAGE WE WERE
TRYING TO SEND, KEY PORTER
AND PETER MAIR DESIGNED THAT
COVER AND THE POINT WE WERE
TRYING TO MAKE IS THE DOG IS
IN CONTROL.
THE DOG IS IN CONTROL.
I WRITE FOR PETS MAGAZINE
AND HAVE FOR TEN, 12 YEARS.
DO YOU KNOW PET'S MAGAZINE
WERE GOING TO USE THE SAME
PHOTO ON THEIR COVER, AND
SOMEBODY STOOD UP IN A
MEETING, I'M NOT MAKING THIS
UP AND SAID “YOU KNOW THE
MESSAGE THAT THAT PHOTO
SENDS IS DOGS DRINKING AND
DRIVING AND WE'RE AGAINST
IT.”
(LAUGHING)
I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.
SO THEY HAD TO COME BACK.
THERE'S A PHOTO ON THE
INSIDE OF YAKE AND I IN MY
MIADA AND THEY HAD TO COME
BACK RE-SHOT SHOOT THAT --

Maureen says THEY COULDN'T USE THE DOG
WITH THE BEER IN FRONT OF
HIM --

William says FRED says FOR FEAR THEY WERE
GOING TO INFLUENCE OTHER
DOGS TO DRINK AND DRIVE.
BUT MAUREEN, I WAS ABLE TO
SAY ON THE INSIDE I'M ALSO
AGAINST DOGS DRINKING AND
DRIVING BECAUSE THEY'LL
PROBABLY JUST TRY TO BUMP
OFF CATS ALL THE TIME AND
MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN
ACCIDENT SO I DON'T WANT
THEM DRINKING AND DRIVING
OUT THERE EITHER.

Maureen says IT'S PRETTY
FUNNY WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT
WALKING JAKES.
THESE ARE WALK, YOU SAY
THEY'RE TINK KEL TOURS.

William says WHEN YOU WALK DOGS, TWO
THINGS HAT.
THEY CHASE EVERYTHING THAT
MOVES AND THEY TAKE A LEAK
ON EVERYTHING THAT DOESN'T
MOVE, RIGHT?
SO BASICALLY FROM THE TIME
YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE, OUT
AND COME BACK, EVERYTHING
YOU ENCOUNTER IS EITHER
RUNNING FOR ITS LIFE OR
GETTING DAMP.
THERE'S ONLY TWO OPTIONS
THERE, RIGHT?
AND HOW THEY CAN GO OUT --
NOW I WALK HIM ABOUT AN HOUR
AND FIFTEEN, HOUR AND TWENTY
MINUTES AT LUNCH WHEN I TAKE
A BREAK.
HOW THEY CAN GO OUT, SAY
THREE MILE, BACK THREE MILES
AND HAVE ENOUGH LEFT OVER TO
STILL TAKE A LITTLE LEAK ON
THE TIRES OF YOUR CAR?
A CAMEL THAT HAD INHALED AN
ART TEERB SHAN WELL COULDN'T
STORE LIKE THAT.

Maureen says IT'S AMAZING.
SORT OF A HIERARCHY, TOO,
ABOUT LIFTING THE LEG AND
WHERE YOUR STREAM IS GOING
AND STUFF.
MY DOG, TOO, HE CAN PEE
FOREVER.

William says IT'S MARKING THE
TERRITORY, IF ANOTHER DOG'S
BEEN THERE, THEY HAVE TO GO
HIGHER AND HARDER.

Maureen says HIGHER AND HARDER.

William says AND BETTER.
APPARENTLY YOU CAN TILELY
PEA BETTER IN THE DOG WORLD.
I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT WORKS.

Maureen says AND THE RITUAL
WHEN YOU MEET A DOG OWNER,
AND YOU MEET ANOTHER WALKING
A DOUG, WHAT IS THIS THING
THE TWO DOGS DO?

William says THEY KIND OF BUMP EACH
OTHER AND SIZE UP THE MASS
IN CASE THERE'S TROUBLE.
THEY WANT TO KNOW HOW BIG
THE DOG REALLY IS.
AND OF COURSE THE MOST
EMBARRASSING THING FOR DOG
OWNERS IS THE BIG SNIFF.

Maureen says IT'S SO EMBARRASSING.

William says YEAH, AND I -- BUT IT'S
FOR REASONS.
THEY'RE DETERMINES, YOU KNOW,
SEX AND ALSO READINESS.
IF THE FEMALE IS IN HEAT --

Maureen says IS THAT WHAT
THAT'S ABOUT?

William says I DON'T KNOW, JAKE'S IN
HEAT SO WE DON'T GET INTO
THIS BUT I HAVE SEEN HIM
SNIFF A FEMALE AND LOOK BACK
THEATE ME WITH THE BIG BROAD
SMALL ON HIS FACE, IT'S NOT
THE SHAMPOO, IT'S THE
CONDITIONER.

Maureen says SHE'S GOT GREAT
CONDITIONER.

William says OH, YEAH, IT'S LOVELY.

Maureen says SINCE YAKE IS A
BORDER COLLIE MOSTLY, WHAT
SPECIAL CHALLENGES DOES THAT
BREED PRESENT?

William says WELL THEY TELL YOU, THEY
GIVE YOU A LIST AND SAY
BORDER collies ARE THE
SMARTEST BREED KNOWN TO MAN.
YOU HAVE TO IMAGINE THIS DOG
FALLS OUT OF BED IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN HE
HAS A NIGHTMARE AND GROWLS
BECAUSE HE THINK I PUSHED HIM.
HE CHASES SQUIRRELS,
SOMETIMES TWO AT A TIME SO
HE'LL GO HEADLONG INTO A
TREE AND HE ALSO RUNS AROUND
THE HOUSE WITH A PINK BUNNY
IN HIS MOUTH THAT HE STOLE
FROM THE KID NEXT DOOR SO
BORDER COLLIE, SMARTEST
BREED KNOWN TO MAN, I GOT A
STUPID ONE, UNFORTUNATELY.
BUT THEY SAY THEY'RE SO
QUICK AND SMART, THEY OPEN
DOORS.
HE OPENS MY DOOR.
IF HE'S JUST BORED OF
STANDING AROUND WAITING FOR
ME TO OPEN THE DOOR, HE
EDGES IT, GETS HIS NOSE IN,
OPENS THE DOOR, JUMPS IN AND
JUMPS ON THE BED.
MY HOUSE IS COLD ALL THE
TIME BECAUSE THE DOOR'S OPEN
ALL THE TIME.
THEY CAN JUMP FENCE, BURROW
UNDER THINGS AND THEY CAN
HOT WYE ANY CAR MANUFACTURED
BEFORE 1958.
UNTIL THAT LOCK SYSTEM CAME
IN THEY WERE FINE.

Maureen says JAKE IS WHAT
EIGHT YOU SAY?

William says EIGHT YEARS OLD.

Maureen says COULD YOU
IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT A DOG
NOW?

William says NO, AND IT WAS ALMOST
IMMEDIATE.
IT WAS WITHIN A COUPLE DAYS.
HE BONDED AND TOOK OVER THE
HOUSE AND ESTABLISHED
HIMSELF AND EXACTLY WHERE HE
WAS GOING TO BE, AND I WORK
IN AN OUTSIDE OFFICE, SO HE
POSITIONS HIMSELF SO NOBODY
GETS TO ME AND EVERYBODY
GETS SNIFFED AND BARKED
AT -- AWW.

Jake jumps off the armchair and walks up to Maureen.

Maureen says COME SEE ME.
WE'RE ALMOST DONE ANYWAY.
WELL THAT'S GREAT.
I KNOW HE'S NOT A CITY DOG
AND A LITTLE SPOOKED IN THE
CITY BUT I APPRECIATE YOU
BRINGING HIM DOWN HERE.

William says OH, ABSOLUTELY, NO IT'S
BEEN FUN.

Maureen says SEE YOU LATER.

William says THANK YOU.

Maureen says THAT IS WILLIAM
THOMAS, A SYNDICATED HUMOUR
COLUMNIST AND TELEVISION
FILM WRITER, JAKE IS HIS DOG.
WILLIAMS' BOOK “THE DOG
RULES” IS AVAILABLE ACROSS
CANADA AND WE HAVE FIVE
COPIES TO GIVE AWAY.
THEY WILL GO TO THE FIRST
FIVE CALLERS.
SO PICK UP THE PHONE AND
DIAL.
IN Toronto 416-484-2727.

A caption reads "416-484-2727. 1-888-411-1234."
Then, it changes to "moretolife@tvo.org"

Maureen continues NOW COMING UP, TALKING TO
YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO AND HER,
BY THE WAY, HOW YOUR CHILD
IS CONFORMING TO THE NEW
CODE OF CONDUCT.
IT INCLUDES THE MANT TREE
SINGING OF OUR NATIONAL
ANTHEM SO ALL ACROSS ONTARIO
YOUNG VOICES RING THROUGH
THE SCHOOL HALLS AS THEY
STAND TO SING O CANADA.
WE LOOKED IN ON SOME
SIX-YEAR-OLDS IN TORONTO WHO
ARE JUST LEARNING THE SONG.

A clip plays in which a little boy shyly sings
O CANADA
OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND
TRUE...

He pauses, grins, and says
I DON'T REMEMBER.

Now two boys appear. One whispers into the other’s ear.

(WHISPERING)

The other boy says WHAT?

A little girl sings
O CANADA
I FORGOT.

One of the two boys sings
O CANADA
WE STAND ON GUARD FOR
THEE
I DON'T GET IT.

The other boy says YOU'RE SINGING THE FIRST
PART AND THEN THE MIDDLE.

The first one says I DON'T KNOW -- I DON'T
KNOW WHY I CAN'T REMEMBER.

A little girl sings O CANADA
OH MA NO NA KA
O CANADA
WE SEND OUR LOVE...

The boys giggle.

One says WE CAN'T DO IT.

Another girl sings FROM FAR AND WIDE
O CANADA
WE STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE

One of the two boys says
THE ANNOUNCEMENTS COME ON
AND SAY PLEASE STAND --

The other says FOR THE ENJOYMENT AND
SINGING OF O CANADA.

The girl who sang the most says I LIKE ABOUT SINGING
BECAUSE I TAKE CARE OF MY
COUNTRY AND IT MAKES ME FEEL
PROUD WHEN I SING IT.

Now a whole choir of six-year-olds appears and sings
O CANADA
OUR HOME AND NATIVE LAND
TRUE PATRIOT LOVE
IN ALL OUR SON'S COMMAND
WITH GLOWING HEART
WE SEE THE RISE
THE TRUE NORTH ADVANTAGE
AND FREE
FROM FAR AND WIDE
O CANADA
WE STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE
GOD KEEP OUR LAND
GLORIOUS AND FREE
O CANADA WE STAND ON GUARD
FOR THEE
O CANADA WE STAND ON GUARD
FOR THEE

The two boys yell CANADA!

The clip ends.

Maureen appears laughing and says PUT HIM RIGHT
OVER.
THAT WAS GREAT.
BRAVO!
GOOD JOB, KIDS.
YOU'RE APPROACHING THE
SCHOOL.
YOU'RE GETTING NERVOUS.
YOU'RE AT THE CLASSROOM
DOOR.
YOUR HEART IS POUNDING, AND
YOU HAVE TO TALK TO THE
TEACHER.
WHEN YOU WERE THE STUDENT
YOU COULD HIDE AWAY AT THE
BACK OF THE ROOM BUT NOW
THAT YOU'RE THE PARENT,
THERE'S NO WAY OUT.
BEVERLEY CATCART ROSS
UNDERSTANDS HOW YOU FEEL.
SHE RUNS THE PARENT
EDUCATION NETWORK.
SHE'S DOESN'T PARENT-TEACHER
INTERVIEW THING COUNTLESS
TYPES WITH HER OWN KIDS'
TEACHERS, SO IF YOU NEED
SOME ADVICE ON HOW TO
DISCUSS YOUR CHILD'S
ACADEMIC ABILITIES OR HIS
SPECIAL NEEDS WITH HIS
TEACHER GIVE US A CALL.

A caption reads "416-484-2727. 1-888-411-1234."
Then, it changes to "moretolife@tvo.org"

Beverley is in her late forties, with short wavy brown hair. She’s wearing a black coat over a white shirt.

Maureen says HI BEVERLEY,
WELCOME.

Beverley says HELLO.

Maureen says WELL I DON'T
LOOK FORWARD TO THIS I JUST
DON'T.
AND HERE I AM, I INTERVIEW
POLITICIANS, I'M NOT AFRAID
OF INTERVIEWING ANYBODY BUT
I CRUMBLE WHEN I GET IN
FRONT OF MY CHILD'S TEACHER.
WHY?

The caption changes to "Beverley Cathcart-Ross. Parent Education Network."

Beverley says WELL I'D SAY THERE'S A
COUPLE OF REASONS.
ONE IS THAT YOU MAY FEEL
YOU'RE BEING JUDGED.
OFTEN WE FEEL THAT IF OUR
CHILD ISN'T PERFORMING WELL,
WE'RE BEING JUDGED BADLY.
WE TAKE IT VERY PERSONALLY.
SOMETIMES TOO PERSONALLY.
WE DON'T SEPARATE THAT THIS
IS AN INDIVIDUAL, WE THINK
IT'S A REFLECTION OF US.
ANOTHER REASON IS THAT IF
IT'S YOUR FIRSTBORN YOU'RE
NOT AS EXPERIENCED AND AS A
RESULT YOU LOOK AT THE
TEACHER AS BEING THE
PROFESSION AND KNOWING MORE
THAN YOU AND SO THAT PUTS
YOU AT A DISADVANTAGE.

Maureen says SOMETIMES I
THINK THEY DO KNOW MORE
ABOUT MY KID THAN I DO.
I'VE LEARNED SOME THINGS FOR
THE FIRST TIME AT THE
INTERVIEW, YOU KNOW A
PROBLEM WITH A CERTAIN
SUBJECT OR SOMETHING THAT'S
GOING NONE THE CLASS
DYNAMIC.
IS THAT DISMON.

Beverley says WELL YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT
YOUR CHILD IN TERMS OF HOW
THEY APPROACH LIFE, THEIR
VALUINGS, HOW THEY INTERACT
WITH OTHERS, AND THE TEACHER
HAS A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE
BECAUSE THEY'RE IN A
DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT SO SHE
HAS A LOT OF INFORMATION
THAT'S HELPFUL TO YOU AS
WELL, HOW YOUR CHILD'S
SOCIALIZING, INTERACTING
WITH OTHERS, ARE THEY A
PARTICIPANT IN THE CLASS?
THINGS YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE
TO PARTICIPATE.

Maureen says YOU HAVE KIDS
RANGING IN AGE FROM WHAT?
TEN TO --

Beverley says TEN TO 17.

Maureen says SO YOU'VE BEEN
THROUGH THIS QUITE A BIT.
THIS FIRST PARENT-TEACHER
INTERVIEW, AT LEAST IN
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, AT LEAST
IN OUR SCHOOL IT'S MANDATORY,
MEANING EVERYBODY'S PARENTS
ARE SUPPOSED TO COME TO THIS
ONE.
THE NEXT ONE, IF THERE ARE
NO PROBLEM, I DON'T NEED TO
GO AFTER THIS.
THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE IN OUR
SCHOOL.
DO YOU ENCOURAGE PARENTS TO
GO, NO MATTER WHAT THE AGE
IS AND HOW WELL THEY'RE
DOING?

Beverley says DEFINITELY.
FIRST OF ALL WE WANT TO BE
AT THE PULSE OF OUR KIDS'
LIVES.
A GOOD NUMBER OF HOURS ARE
SPENT EVERYDAY AWAY FROM US
AND PARTICULARLY THE TEEN
YEARS.
THEY MAY LEAVE AT 7:30 IN
THE MORNING AND YOU MAY NOT
SEE THEM UNTIL 5:30 IN THE
EVENING, AND IF YOU'RE
WORKING IT MAY EVEN BE
LATER.
SO THAT INFLUENCE IS HUGE.
SO YOU WANT TO HAVE A SAY,
YOU WANT TO HAVE AN
UNDERSTANDING OF THE
INFLUENCE OUTSIDE OF THE
HOME.

Maureen says SO YOU SHOULD GO,
AND YOU SHOULD APPROACH IT
HOW?
WHAT ARE YOU GOING THERE TO
DO?

Beverley says OKAY AGAIN IT DEPENDS ON
THE AGE OF THE CHILD IN THE
YOUNGER YEARS I NEED TO
UNDERSTAND HOW MY CHILD’S
SOCIALIZING BECAUSE I WANT
TO KNOW THEY FUNCTION WELL
IN THE WORLD.
THEY FUNCTION WELL AT HOME.
I MEAN, THEY MAY MISBEHAVE
AT HOME AS WELL, BUT THAT'S
A FAMILIAR TERRITORY THAT I
HAVE A LOT OF SAY IN.
BUT IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD
THEY DON'T HAVE AS MUCH SAY,
SO I WANT TO KNOW HOW
THEY'RE FUNCTIONING AND ARE
THEY DOING ALRIGHT.
ARE THEY ALL THE WAYING
THEIR TURN?
ARE THEY SHARING?
ARE THEY BEING RESPECTFUL OF
THE RIGHTS OF OTHERS IN THE
CLASS.
ARE THEY MAKING FRIENDS?
THESE ARE ALL IMPORTANT
THINGS FOR THEIR SELF
CONFIDENCE, FOR THEIR
SELF-ESTEEM.
SO IN THOSE YEARS THAT WOULD
BE MY FOCUS.
YES, I WANT TO KNOW THE
A.B.C.'S ARE HAPPENING AS
WELL, BUT REALLY THE
CRITICAL THING IS ARE THEY
GETTING A JOY OUT OF BEING
AT SCHOOL AND BEING WITH
OTHERS?

Maureen says AND AT WHAT AGE
DOES THE FOCUS SWITCH TO
ACADEMICS?

Beverley says CERTAINLY IN THE MIDDLE YEARS.
BY GRADE ONE AND TWO, KIDS
ARE SETTLING DOWN, THEY'RE
LEARNING.
THE BOYS TAKE A LITTLE
LONGER SOMETIMES THAN THE
GIRLS BECAUSE THEY OFTEN
HAVE MORE ACTION, NEED MORE
ENERGY.
THE GIRLS LEARN TO SIT
EARLIER.
THEN ONCE YOU HIT GRADE TWO
AND THREE YOU'LL TO WANT
KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE
OTHER LAST ASPECTS OF THEIR
LIVES, TOO, NOT JUST SOCIAL.

Maureen says THESE PARENT-TEACHER
INTERVIEWS SOMETIMES FOLLOW
A REPORT CARD COMING HOME.
HOW USEFUL DO YOU FIND THE
INFORMATION ON REPORT CARDS
THESE DAYS?

Beverley says WAY BETTER.
IT'S A DRAMATIC IMPROVEMENT.
THEY HAD BENCHMARKING FOR A
WHILE, WHICH IS REALLY GOOD
AS WELL, AND THEY'VE ADDED
TO THIS, AND NOW THEY'RE
MEASURING A CHILD'S
PERFORMANCE IN MANY AREAS,
NOT JUST ACADEMICS.
IN THEIR ABILITY TO SOLVE
CONFLICTS, TO BE RESOURCEFUL,
TO BE AN INDEPENDENT
LEARNER.
SO THERE ARE A LOT OF AREAS
THAT ARE MORE SUBTLE THAT
ARE REALLY CRITICAL, SO
YOU'RE GETTING FEEDBACK NOW.
THEY DO FOCUS ON THE
SOCIALIZING ASPECT, BECAUSE
A HAPPY CHILD IS A CHILD
THAT CAN LEARN.
A DISCOURAGED CHILD OR
UNHAPPY CHILD ISN'T GOING TO
BE FOCUSING ON LEARNING.
SO THAT'S AN IMPORTANT
ELEMENT.

Maureen says YOU HAVE AN
INTERESTING STORY TO TELL
ABOUT A PROBLEM THAT ONE OF
YOUR CHILDREN HAD WITH A
TEACHER AND HOW YOU WENT TO
THE TEACHER AND RESOLVED IT.
CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THAT.

Beverley says YES.
IT WAS WITH MY SON.
HE WAS IN A GRADE TWO-THREE
SPLIT AND HE WAS IN THE
GRADE THREE PART OF THE
SPLIT.
IT WAS HIS FIRST YER WITH
THE GROUP SO HE WASN'T THAT
CONNECTED WITH THE GROUP
COMING IN LATE THAT SENSE OF
BELONGING IS CRITICAL FOR
KIDS.
SO HE'S A HAPPY-GO-LUCKY KID,
THOUGH, VERY KEEN, A BIT OF
AN ADVENTURE-SEEKER SO, HE
DIDN'T SEEM TO BE TOO
CONCERNED ABOUT THIS.
THEN HE MET THE TEACHER, AND
I THINK IT WAS A VERY BAD
FIT FROM THE BEGINNING,
BECAUSE SHE WAS VERY
AUTOCRATIC, A SERGEANT-MAJOR
KIND OF TEACHER, AND HE WENT
INTO HIS SHELL VERY QUICKLY.
I WASN'T AWARE OF THIS, NOT
BEING IN THE CLASSROOM BUT I
STARTED GETTING THE SYMPTOMS
AT HOME.
TUMMY ACHE, NOT WANTING TO
GO TO SCHOOL, NOT WANTING TO
TALK ABOUT SCHOOL.
HE WENT INTO A BIT OF A
SHELL AT HOME AS WELL.
SO MY ANTENNA WERE UP.
NOW THIS IS MY SECOND CHILD
SO, MY ANTENNA WERE UP MORE
QUICKLY AS A RESULT THAT
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
HAPPENING AT SCHOOL.
I DID SOME RESEARCH, TALKED
TO OTHER MOTHER, IF THEY HAD
OTHER CONCERNS ABOUT THE
TEACHER.
SHE WAS A NEW TEACHER IN THE
SCHOOL.
WE STARTED GETTING A SENSE
THAT A LOT OF CHILDREN WERE
REALLY PULLING BACK AND
BEING ANXIOUS IN THE CLASS.
SO I WENT IN AND HAD TWO
INTERVIEWS WITH HER.
NOW THIS IS AN IMPORTANT
POINT.
THE APPROACH.
I COULD GO IN WITH MY GUNS
BLAZING --

Maureen says YEAH, WHICH WE'D
BE TEMPTED TO DO.

Beverley says AND BE PROTECTIVE OF MY
SON AND CARE ABOUT HIS
ENVIRONMENT.
BUT THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN
ME AND THE TEACHER IS
CRITICAL, AND THE
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MY
CHILD AND THE TEACHER IS
CRITICAL.
SO I NEED TO BE CAREFUL WITH
THAT RELATIONSHIP.
SO I WENT IN OPEN AND
FLEXIBLE AND SAID THERE
SEEMS TO BE SOME TROUBLE
WITH MY SON LEARNING IN THIS
ENVIRONMENT.
WE TALKED A BIT ABOUT IT.
SHE ALLOWED ME TO COME IN
AND OBSERVE THE CLASS AND
SEE WHAT MIGHT BE BOTHERING
HIM AND THEN WE HAD A
FOLLOW-UP MEETING ON WHAT I
FELT COULD BE HELPFUL.
SO I DIDN'T GO IN TO
CRITICIZE HER AND FIND FAULT
WITH HER, AND I KNEW THAT I
WASN'T GOING TO CHANGE A
TEACHER'S STYLE WHO HAD BEEN
TEACHING FOR 15 YEARS AT ALL
THAT WASN'T MY FOCUS.
MY FOCUS WAS HOW CAN I
IMPROVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP.

Maureen says AND DID IT
WORK.

Beverley says AND IT DID.
AND IT WAS VERY SLOW THE
FIRST FEW WEEKS, BUT IT
IMPROVED.
AND WITHIN TWO MONTHS HE WAS
HAPPY AND INVOLVED AND
INTERACTIVE IN THE
CLASSROOM.
AND THE MAIN FOCUS THAT I
TOOK WAS HE'S AFRAID OF HER.
SO HE HAS TO GET TO KNOW
HER.
HE ALSO HAD TO LEARN THAT
THIS WASN'T ABOUT HIM.
HE HAD TO BE ABLE TO
SEPARATE HER FROM HIMSELF
AND SAY THIS IS ABOUT HER.
THIS IS HER STYLE.
SO SHE'S A SCREAMER.
SO SHE RIPS UP HOMEWORK AND
THROWS IT IN THE GARBAGE.

Maureen says DID SHE DO THAT?
RIP UP A CHILD'S HOMEWORK IN
FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS?

Beverley says YES, YES.
SHE WAS A PERFECTIONIST AND
WANTED HIGHEST STANDARDS,
WHICH AS PARENTS WE ALL WANT
HIGH STANDARDS FOR OUR KIDS,
BUT IT WAS DONE IN A
HUMILIATING WAY.
AND SO CHILDREN WILL EITHER
RISE TO THE CHALLENGE OR
THEY'LL WITHDRAW, AND EITHER
QUIT AND NOT TAKE CHANCES,
BECAUSE IT WAS EMBARRASSING --
SO I HAD ASKED HER TO FIND
SOME MORE ENCOURAGING
APPROACHES WITH MY SON.
ALSO, I GAVE HER SOME IDEAS
THERE, BUT TALKED ABOUT
GETTING TO KNOW HIM SO HE
CAME IN TEN MINUTES EARLY
UNDER THE GUISE OF EXTRA
HELP SO SHE COULD TALK TO
HIM ABOUT HER KIDS AND HER
LIFE AND THEY WOULD DO SOME
ACTIVITIES TOGETHER, AND HE
GOT TO KNOW HER, AND HE GOT
LESS FEARFUL OF HER.

Maureen says GOOD!
WELL, YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT
MOTHER.
YOU REALLY KEPT YOUR COOL IN
THAT SITUATION.
WE'RE TAKING YOUR CALLS THIS
AFTERNOON FOR BEVERLEY CATHCART
ROSS.
IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT
HOW TO TALK PRODUCTIVELY
WITH YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER
AND WORK WITH THE TEACHER TO
MAKE IT A BETTER LEARNING
ENVIRONMENT FOR YOUR KID,
GIVE US A CALL.

A caption reads "416-484-2727. 1-888-411-1234."
Then, it changes to "moretolife@tvo.org"

Maureen says KAREN IS IN
LONDON.
KAREN, WELCOME.

The Caller says HI.

Maureen says HI.

The Caller says I'M A TEACHER
HERE IN LONDON, I'M ON
MATERNITY LEAVE AND I CAUGHT
YOUR SHOW.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR
HAVING THIS TOPIC.

Maureen says THANK YOU.

The Caller says AS A TEACHER
MYSELF I JUST WOULD LIKE TO
MENTION THAT WE LIKE TO SEE
ALL OF OUR PARENTS, NOT JUST
THE ONE WHOSE SEEM TO THINK
THERE'S A PROBLEM, BECAUSE
IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM IN THE
CLASS, THAT'S TRUE, WE NEED
TO DISCUSS IT, BUT WE ALSO
LIKE TO TELL OUR GLORY
STORIES AND HOW WELL THE
CHILDREN ARE DOING AND SO I
ENCOURAGE ALL PARENTS TO
COME OUT FOR BOTH THE
POSITIVE AND THE SUGGESTIVE
ON EVERY CHILD FOR ALL OF
THE INTERVIEWS, BECAUSE IT
DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE TO
HAVE A FACE BEHIND THE VOICE
ON THE PHONE WHEN YOU'RE
TALKING NEXT TIME.

Maureen says CAN YOU TELL
PARENTS ARE NERVOUS WHEN
THEY DISMOM CAN YOU TELL
WE'RE NERVOUS?

The Caller says OH, YES.
YES, BUT TEACHERS ARE
NERVOUS, TOO.
BECAUSE WE'RE ALSO ON THE
STAGE TO PERFORM.
WE KNOW THAT THE PARENT HAS
CERTAIN EXPECTATIONS AND HAS
HEARD CERTAIN THINGS AND NOT
ALWAYS ALL THE POSITIVE,
JUST ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT
HAVE HAPPENED IN THE
CLASSROOM HAVE COME HOME.

Maureen says YEAH, AND I
WOULD -- THIS IS SOMETHING
EVENTUALLY, BEVERLEY, WE'LL
BE TALKING ABOUT.
BUT WHETHER RIGHTLY OR
WRONGLY, AS WE DISCUSSED ON
THIS PROGRAMME YESTERDAY,
TEACHERS FEEL MORE STRESSED
TODAY.
AS WE SAW IN THAT “O.
CANADA” THAT WAS ONE HUGE
CLASSROOM OF GRADE ONES.
THERE'S NO WAY THERE WERE
ONLY 24 KIDS IN THAT
CLASSROOM SO THEY HAVE A LOT
OF KIDS IN THE CLASS IS
THERE ANYTHING WE PARENTS
CAN DO WHEN WE GO INTO THIS
INTERVIEW SITUATION TO MAYBE
LET THE TEACHER KNOW WE
UNDERSTAND THESE ARE ROUGH
TIMES?

Beverley says WELL, THAT ALONE IS A
HELP TO HEAR FROM A PARENT.
BUT REALIZING THAT YOUR
CHILD IS ONE OF 28 OR ONE OF
24 AND THAT THE TEACHER IS
DOING THEIR BEST TO GET TO
KNOW EACH OF THE KIDS.
SO YES, THEY ENJOY
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND SOME
SHOW OF APPRECIATION FOR THE
EFFORT THAT THEY GO TO AS
WELL.
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THE
EFFORT THEY GO TO IF YOU'RE
NOT IN TOUCH.
IF YOU'RE NOT OCCASIONALLY
DROPPING IN THE CLASS -- NOT
WITHOUT AT LEAST AN
APPOINTMENT OR TO INTERRUPT,
BUT TO TAKE A LOOK AT HOW
THE TEACHER HAS DECORATED
THE ROOM, WHAT THEY'RE
FOCUSING ON IN THE CLASS,
WHAT IS THE “TEAM OF THE
MONTH” IN TERMS OF CONTENT
THAT YOUR CHILD IS LEARNING.
SO IF YOU TAKE AN INTEREST
IN WHAT YOUR CHILD IS
LEARNING THEN THE TEACHER
KNOWS YOU'RE AN INFORMED
PARENT AND THEY APPRECIATE
THE INTERACTION.

Maureen says SO THE TIME YOU
WENT AND SAT IN ON YOUR
SON'S CLASS, THAT IS BECAUSE
YOU WANTED TO WATCH THIS
INTERACTION BETWEEN THE
TEACHER AND YOUR CHILD.
BUT DO YOU JUST CALL UP AND
A TEACHER AND SAY “CAN I
COME IN AND OBSERVE?”
WON'T THAT PUT THEM ON THE
DEFENSIVE RIGHT AWAY?
WON'T THEY THINK SOMETHING'S
WRONG?

Beverley says IN THE YOUNGER GRADES
OFTEN TEACHERS LIKE AN EXTRA
PAIR OF HANDS IN THE CLASS
AND THEY SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW,
MAKE THAT CLEAR AT THE
BEGINNING OF THE YEAR AND
INVITE YOU TO COME IN AND
HAVE -- THERE'S USUALLY A
PARENT REPRESENTATIVE FOR
EVERY CLASS SO, THEY MIGHT
CALL YOU AND SAY “WOULD YOU
LIKE TO COME INTO THE CLASS
AT CERTAIN TIMES?”
WHEN YOUR CHILD'S OLDER, IT
IS A LITTLE MORE DIFFICULT
TO ARRANGE, BUT AGAIN, IF
THE TEACHER BELIEVES YOU'RE
ON BOTH SIDES THAT YOU'RE
NOT IN THERE TO BLAME HER,
BUT YOU'RE IN THERE WITH THE
INTEREST OF THEIR
RELATIONSHIP, THE TEACHER
AND CHILD RELATIONSHIP TO
IMPROVE, THEN THERE ARE A
LOT MORE -- THEY'RE A LOT
MORE WELCOMING AND A LOT
MORE COMFORTABLE.

Maureen says OKAY.
GOOD.
KAREN, THANKS FOR THE CALL
AND ENJOY THE MATERNITY
LEAVE.
HEATHER IS IN TORONTO.
HELLO, HEATHER.

The Caller says HELLO.

Maureen says HI.

The Caller says MY COMMENT NOT TO
WAIT ONLY FOR A PARENT-TEACHER
MEETING.
I HAD A SITUATION WHERE MY
SON WAS VERY YOUNG AND I WAS
GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE, AND
THE FIRST PEOPLE THAT I TOLD
WAS THE SCHOOL AND HIS HOME
TEACHER.
AND I SAID WELL DON'T COME
DOWN TOO HARD ON THE KID IF
HE'S STARING OUT A WINDOW
AND NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO
THE CLASS, BECAUSE THERE IS
A FAMILY STRESS HERE.
AND I THINK THAT THEY
APPRECIATED IT, OTHERWISE
THEY WOULD HAVE A VERY
INATTENTIVE CHILD, AND I
THINK THAT YOU SHOULD
INCLUDE THEM IN SOME OF THE
TRAUMAS OF TODAY'S STRESSFUL
LIFE.

Maureen says SO YOU WOULD
JUST CALL UP THE TEACHER OR
CALL UP THE SCHOOL AND
SAY --

The Caller says NO, I HAD
VOLUNTEERED IN THE LIBRARY
FOR MANY YEARS.
I KNEW THEM ALL VERY WELL,
SO I JUST WALKED IN.
I HAD GONE ON SCHOOL BUS
TOURS, ET CETERA, BUT I KNEW
MOST OF THE TEACHERS THERE.

Maureen says YOU FELT
COMFORTABLE JUST WALKING IN.

The Caller says YES.

Maureen says AND TALKING TO THEM.

The Caller says AND HE'D SAID
“WELL THANK YOU VERY MUCH.”
HE SAID “I'M USUALLY THE
LAST PERSON TO FIND THESE
THINGS OUT.”
SO HE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED
THAT.

Maureen says ANY OTHER WORDS
OF ADVICE ON THAT, BEVERLEY?

Beverley says WELL I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME
TEACHERS IN THE FAMILY
NETWORK AND ONE OF OUR, ONE
OF MY COUSINS MENTIONED THAT
VERY TOPIC TO ME AND SAID
THAT A TEACHER'S NEED TO
KNOW CHANGES IN A CHILD'S
LIFE, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IT
WILL AFFECT HOW THEY BEHAVE
IN THE CLASS.
SO I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT
LISTENER DID IN FACT CALL
HER TEACHER.
BECAUSE THE CHILDREN NEED
OUR SUPPORT, AND IF WE'RE
NOT GOING TO BE SPOKESPERSON
FOR THEM, WHO WILL BE.
ANYWAY, THIS COUSIN OF MINE,
SHE HAD A BRAND NEW STUDENT
IN HER CLASS, GRADE SEVEN OR
GRADE EIGHT, AND HE HAD
LEARNING DIFFICULTIES, HIS
FILE HADN'T COME FROM THE
OTHER SCHOOL YET AND SHE
HADN'T HEARD ABOUT ANY OF
THIS FOR A MONTH AND A HALF
INTO THE SCHOOL YEAR.
AND SO AS A RESULT SHE WAS
TREATING HIM AND EXPECTING
THE SAME LEVEL OF
PERFORMANCE AS ALL THE OTHER
STUDENTS AND HE GOT MORE AND
MORE DISCOURAGED IN THAT
MONTH AND A HALF AND WAS
DOING UNWELL ON TESTS AND
STARTED TO WITHDRAW.
AND SO IF SHE HAD HAD THAT
INFORMATION RIGHT IN THE
BEGINNING SHE COULD HAVE
SPARED THE CHILD OF ALL THIS
DISCOMFORT.

Maureen says ALTHOUGH I
WONDER WITH THE NEW
CURRICULUM AND THE
EXPECTATION, ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO TAKE INTO
ACCOUNT THESE, YOU KNOW,
KINDS OF LEARNING
DISABILITIES AND THINGS LIKE
THAT?

Beverley says OH, DEFINITELY.
IF A CHILD IS STRUGGLING IN
CERTAIN AREAS, THEY MAY NEED
ONE-ON-ONE SUPPORT AT A
LEARNING CENTRE.

Maureen says IF THEY CAN'T
GET SPECIAL HELP.

Beverley says THERE ARE KIDS WITH
SPECIAL NEEDS IN MY
10-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER'S CLASS,
BOTH PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL
NEEDS.
SO IT'S ACTUALLY WONDERFUL
FOR THE OTHER KIDS IN THE
CLASS, BECAUSE THEY END UP
BEING MORE UNDERSTANDING,
MORE TOLERANT, BECOME
HELPFUL THEMSELVES, AND SO I
THINK IT'S VERY ENRICHING.

Maureen says OKAY.
THANKS AGAIN, HEATHER, FOR
YOUR CALL.
JIM IS IN BRAMPTON.
HELLO, JIM.

The Caller says HELLO.
THANK YOU FOR TAKING MY
CALL.

Maureen says YOU'RE WELCOME.

The Caller says I HAVE A DAUGHTER
IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND SHE'S
BEEN BULLIED FOR MANY YEARS
BY TWO OR THREE GIRLS AROUND
HER.
WHAT THEY DO IS THEY GO --
ANY FRIEND MY DAUGHTER MAKE,
THEY GO AND FEED HER ALL
KINDS OF RUMORS AND FALSE
INFORMATION AND THE RESULT
IS MY DAUGHTER IS COMPLETELY
ISOLATED.
SHE HAS NO FRIENDS IN THE
SCHOOL ANYMORE, AND ALL THE
FRIENDS THAT SHE HAS ARE
OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL WHERE
THESE GIRLS DON'T HAVE
ACCESS.

Maureen says RIGHT, AND WHAT
GRADE IS SHE IN NOW?
OH, DID WE LOSE JIM?
I THINK WE LOST HIM.
OKAY, WELL SHE'S IN SOME
GRADE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THIS IS TERRIBLE.
IS THIS SOMETHING -- COT
SCHOOL -- COT TEACHERS AND
THE PRINCIPAL GET INVOLVED
IN THIS SGHAIGS.

Beverley says WELL WHY IT'S SO TERRIBLE
IS SHE'S ISOLATED, AND THAT
IS LIKE A SENSE OF REJECTION
TO A CHILD, PARTICULARLY AT
THIS AGE WHEN THEIR BODIES
ARE CHANGING, THERE ARE A
LOT OF OTHER THINGS THAT ARE
MAKING THEM FEEL AWKWARD AND
MAYBE NOT SO COMFORT NABL
THEIR OWN SKIN.
TO BE REJECTED BY YOUR PEERS
CAN LEAD TO DEPRESSION, CAN
LEAD TO NEGATIVE BEHAVIOUR,
OR IT CAN LEAD TO, AGAIN,
WITHDRAWAL, GOING INTO
RETREAT.
SO TEACHERS ARE REALLY --
REALLY NEED TO KEEP THEIR
EYES OPEN BUT USUALLY THESE
KIDS ARE MOVING FROM CLASS
TO CLASS, AND THEY DON'T
HAVE THE SAME HOMEROOM
ENVIRONMENT, THE FAMILY KIND
OF FAMILIAR ENVIRONMENT THAT
THEY MIGHT HAVE HAD IN THE
LOWER GRADES.
THAT'S WHY WE HAVE SCHOOL
PSYCHOLOGISTS AND GUIDANCE
COUNSELLORS, BUT THE CHILD
HAS TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE
TO TAP INTO THESE THINGS.
IF THEY'RE A SHY KIND OF
CHILD, OR NOT ASSERTIVE,
THEN IT CAN GO UNNOTICED FOR
LONG PERIODS OF TIME.

Maureen says JIM, IS THERE --
JIM'S BACK, I UNDERSTAND IS
THERE ANY POSSIBILITY OF
PUTTING HER IN A DIFFERENT
SCHOOL?
WOULD SHE LIKE TO GO TO A
DIFFERENT SCHOOL?

The Caller says WE HAVE THOUGHT
ABOUT THAT, AND IT'S SIMPLY
HOW IS SHE GOING TO GET TO
THE SCHOOL AND PARTICIPATE
IN THE ACTIVITIES THERE?
THERE ARE SOME LOGISTICAL ISSUES.
PLUS SHE ACTUALLY LIKES THE
PROGRAMME IN THE SCHOOL.
THE EDUCATION WHAT SHE'S
GETTING IS FIRST CLASS SO WE
KNOW SHE DOESN'T TO WANT
LOSE OUT ON THAT.

Maureen says YEAH.

The Caller says AND SHE IS SEEING
SOME CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST.

Beverley says GOOD, YEAH.

The Caller says AT THE RAPPORT
CLINIC HERE.
SHE GOES THERE.

Beverley says THERE'S ANOTHER POINT,
JIM, WE DON'T WANT TO
PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM
LIFE AS WELL, BECAUSE
THEY'RE GOING TO BE UP
AGAINST SITUATIONS LIKE THIS
IN THEIR LIVES, WHETHER IT'S
IN THE WORKPLACE OR IN THE
SCHOOL.
SO WHAT WE WANT TO DO IS
GIVE THEM THE CONFIDENCE
THAT THEY CAN HANDLE THESE
THINGS.
BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES.
HAVE FAITH IN THEMSELVES,
THAT THEY CAN SURVIVE THIS.
BUT THEY DO NEED THE SUPPORT
OF THE SCHOOL TO GET THROUGH
IT.
AND THE UNDERSTANDING,
SOMEONE TO TALK TO SOMEONE
TO LISTEN TO.
SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO THEM.
SO PROTECTING HER IS NOT THE
ANSWER, BUT TO BE BE SIDE
HER THROUGH IT, AND TO MAKE
SURE THE SCHOOL IS TAKING
RESPONSIBILITIES FOR IT AS
WELL.

Maureen says IF SHE WASN'T IN
HIGH SCHOOL YOU'D ALMOST BE
TEMPTED AS A PARENT TO
CONTACT THE PARENTS OF THE
OTHER CHILDREN DOING THE
BULLYING.
ARE THEY TOO OLD FOR THAT
NOW?
FOR THAT APPROACH?

Beverley says OH, WELL THAT -- THAT
GETS COMPLEX.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE HEARING
ONE SIDE ONLY.
JIM IS HEARING HIS
DAUGHTER'S VERSION OF THE
SITUATION.
THE DYNAMICS CAN BE QUITE
COMPLEX, SO IT'S REALLY MORE
HELPFUL -- AGAIN, NOT TO BE
IN A CONFRONTATIONAL
APPROACH, AND THE DAUGHTER
MAY ACTUALLY BE APPALLED AT
THE IDEA, BECAUSE IT MAY --
AND HER IDEAS GET OUT OF
CONTROL, AND MAYBE --

Maureen says MAKE THINGS WORSE
FOR THEM.

Beverley says YEAH, SHE MAY BE LABELLED
IN A NEGATIVE WAY BECAUSE OF
IT.
SO IT'S USUALLY BETTER TO DO
IT IN THE CONFINES OF THE
SCHOOL.
IF PARENTS NEED TO BE
BROUGHT IN, TO BE BROUGHT
INTO THE SCHOOL BY THE
TEACHERS VERSUS BY THE
PARENT OF THE CHILD THAT'S
BEING BULLIED.

Maureen says I GUESS IT'S
GOOD TO HEAR AT LEAST SHE
HAS FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF
SCHOOL IN OTHER ACTIVITIES,
AND I SUPPOSE REALLY
CAPITALIZE ON THE
OPPORTUNITIES TO GET HER
TOGETHER WITH THOSE FRIENDS
ON THE WEEKENDS OR AFTER
SCHOOL OR WHATEVER SO, THAT
SHE KNOWS SHE'S GOT SOMEBODY
SHE CAN TALK TO.

Beverley says YES.
WELL THAT'LL HELP HER
SELF-ESTEEM.
SHE FEELS THAT AT LEAST IN
ONE ASPECT OF MY LIFE I'M
SUCCEEDING AND DOING WELL.
BUT SHE NEEDS TO FEEL
CONNECTED AT SCHOOL AS WELL
TO REALLY SUCCEED AT SCHOOL.

Maureen says I HOPE SOMETHING
WORKS FOR YOU, JIM.
THANKS VERY MUCH FOR YOUR
CALL.
CHARLENE IS IN WITT BEAT.
HI CHARLENE.
OKAY, CHARLENE'S NOT THERE.
OKAY, WE'LL GET ANOTHER
CALLER UP.
FIRST OF ALL, BACK TO THE
VERY YOUNGER GRADES, THOUGH.
HE TALKED ABOUT HOW YOU WENT
IN AND DEALT WITH YOUR
CHILD'S TEACHER, EVERYTHING
WORKED OUT FINE.
CAN YOU ENVISION A SITUATION,
THOUGH, WHERE IT'S THE RIGHT
THING TO DO IS TO GO TO THE
PRINCIPAL AND A”I WANT MY
CHILD OUT OF THAT
CLASSROOM.”

Beverley says YES.
THAT ACTUALLY DOESN'T HAPPEN
AS OFTEN AS YOU WOULD THINK,
AND THE SCHOOLS OF COURSE
DISCOURAGE IT BECAUSE IT'S A
DOMINO AFFECT WHEN ONE
CHILD'S REMOVED FROM A CLASS,
OTHERS MIGHT DEMAND TO
FOLLOW.
AS WELL IT CHANGES THE
DYNAMICS OF THE CLASS AND
THEY USUALLY TRY TO BALANCE
CLASSES WITH STRENGTHS AND
WEAKNESSES.
SO SCHOOLS ARE RATHER LOATHE
TO DO THAT BUT GETTING THE
PRINCIPAL INVOLVED IS YOUR
RIGHT, AND SOMETIMES IS
NECESSARY.
BUT DON'T GO ABOVE THE
TEACHER UNTIL YOU'VE DEALT
WITH THE TEACHER.
GO TO THE TEACHER FIRST.
REMEMBER, YOU WANT TO KEEP
AN ALLY THERE.
YOU WANT TO RESPECT
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOUR
TEACHER AND THE CHILD, TOO.
SO WORK WITH THE TEACHER,
AND IF IT'S NOT WORKING, SAY
“I THINK WE BETTER GET
PERHAPS A THIRD PARTY
INVOLVED HERE.”
THE VICE-PRINCIPAL OR THE
PRINCIPAL.
WE DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO
RESOLVE THIS.

Maureen says OKAY, SO START
WITH THE TEACHER AND THEN IF
YOU DON'T GET SATISFACTION.
ALRIGHT, WE HAVE CHARLES
LANE BACK.
HI CHARLENE.

The Caller says HI.

Maureen says HI.
AHEAD, YOUR QUESTION.

The Caller says YES YES, I HAD
HEARD YOU SPEAKING ABOUT
YOUR SON WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER,
GETTING STOMACH PAINS WHEN
IT CAME TIME TO GO TO
SCHOOL.

Beverley says YES.

The Caller says AND MY SON IS
FIVE AND IN GRADE ONE, AND
FOR THE LAST THREE WEEKS
HE'S HAD THAT PROBLEM,
STOMACH ACHES EVERY MORNING
AND HAVING TO GO TO THE
WASHROOM A LOT AND ONE
MORNING HE WAS CRYING AND
ACTUALLY SAID “I BEG YOU NOT
TO SEND ME TO SCHOOL, I'LL
GO TOMORROW.”
I FINALLY FOUND OUT AFTER
ABOUT TWO WEEKS THAT HIS
TEACHER WAS VERY LOUD AND
YELLED A LOT AND CENTERED
HIM OUT ONE DAY FOR
FORGETTING SOMETHING.
AND I GETS IT EMBARRASSED
HIM, AND IT SEEMS LIKE WHAT
YOU WERE SAYING, HE'S AFRAID
OF HER.
SO I'M WONDERING HOW I
SHOULD HANDLE THAT BECAUSE I
HAVE TALKED TO HER.
SHE SAID THAT SHE WOULD TRY
AND TONE DOWN THE LOUDNESS
AND TAKE A DIFFERENT
APPROACH WITH HIM, BUT HE'S
STILL WANTING TO COME HOME
EVERY DAY FOR LUNCH, NOT
WANTING TO GO, SO I'M
WONDERING WHAT ELSE I SHOULD
DO.

Beverley says WELL, I WOULD START WITH
YOUR SON.
WE'LL SPLIT THIS INTO TWO
PARTS.
START WITH YOUR SON AND GET
HIM TO UNDERSTAND THAT
BECAUSE THE TEACHER MAY
RAISE HER VOICE A LOT THAT
HE DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE THAT
PERSONALLY OR TO HEART.
AND THAT IT IS
UNCOMFORTABLE.
ACKNOWLEDGE HIS DISCOMFORT.
DON'T DOWNPLAY IT, BECAUSE
THIS IS SERIOUS TO A
FIVE-YEAR-OLD.
THIS IS NOT -- IT MAY TO YOU
SEEM NOT SO SERIOUS, BUT TO
HIM IT'S SERIOUS.
SO WE WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE
HOW STRONGLY HE'S FEELING,
AND WHAT CAN HE DO TO BE
MORE COMFORTABLE IN THE
CLASS SO LET'S EQUIP HIM.
LET'S EMPOWER HIM.
HOW QUESTION FEEL MORE
COMFORTABLE IN THE CLASS.
WOULD HE FEEL BETTER IF HE
HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL FROM
HOME IN HIS DESK?
WOULD HE FEEL MORE
COMFORTABLE IF HE SAW THE
TEACHER ONE-ON-ONE, LIKE MY
SON DID, AND SPENT A LITTLE
TIME WITH HER AND SAW THAT
SHE WAS A HUMAN BEING?
BUT ALSO, LET HIM SEE THAT
THERE ARE LOTS OF APPROACHES
TEACHERS HAVE.
SOME ARE QUIET, SOME ARE
YELLER, SOME ARE CUDDLY,
SOME ARE NOT.
AND THAT THAT'S OKAY.
THEN WE WANT TO DEAL WITH
THE TEACHER, AND SAY THAT MY
SON ISN'T REACTING OR
RESPONDING VERY WELL TO THE
ENVIRONMENT, AND ARE THERE
SOME THINGS WE CAN MAKE HIM
DO TO FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE.
SOMETIMES THE KINDERGARTEN
TEACHERS HAVE ASSISTANTS,
AND THE ASSISTANT MAY BE A
NICE FOIL FOR THE TEACHER
AND SHE MAY BE MORE SOFT AND
THAT MAY BE THE RELATIONSHIP
YOU WANT TO NURTURE.
WHEN A CHILD STARTS
COMPLAINING ABOUT PHYSICAL
SYMPTOMS, IT REALLY IS
SOMETHING YOU SHOULD ADDRESS
QUICKLY, BECAUSE HIS JOY OF
LEARNING IS AT STEAK.
THESE ARE THE STORMIVE
YEARS.
AND I WOULD PERHAPS, IF YOU
DON'T GET SATISFACTION
QUICKLY, GET THE
VICE-PRINCIPAL INVOLVED.
ANOTHER THING THAT MIGHT BE
SOMETHING TO FOCUS ON WITH
YOUR SON IS FRIENDSHIPS AT
HOME.
IF HE WANTS TO COME HOME FOR
LUNCH HAVE HIM BRING A BUDDY
FROM CLASS.
DEVELOP SOME RELATIONSHIPS
IN THE CLASSROOM SO THAT AT
LEAST HE FEELS WELL-GROUNDED
IN HIS FRIENDSHIPS AND THEN
HE HAS SOMETHING TO LOOK
FORWARD TO EVERY MORNING
WHEN HE GOES TO SCHOOL.

Maureen says KINDERGARTEN,
THE TEACHER NEEDS SO MUCH
PATIENCE THAT IT'S HARD TO
IMAGINE ANYBODY YELLING AT
LITTLE KIDS THAT AGE, YOU
KNOW?

Beverley says WELL YOU KNOW, THERE'S A
FUNNY THING GOING ON IN THE
SCHOOL SYSTEM NOW WITH THE
WAY THEY -- THE NUMBER OF
TEACHERS A SCHOOL IS ALLOWED
IS BY THE NUMBER OF STUDENTS
IN THE POPULATION.
SO SOMETIMES THEY HAVE WHAT
THEY CALL HALF TEACHERS.
AND A HALF TEACHER CAN BE A
VICE-PRINCIPAL.
SO A VICE-PRINCIPAL MIGHT BE
PUT IN THE CLASSROOM AND THE
ONLY HALF DAY CLASSROOMS ARE
KINDERGARTEN AND THEY MAY
NOT BE SUITED TO
KINDERGARTEN CHILDREN AND
MAY ARRIVE TO SCHOOL IN
THEIR PUMP EXAMINES THEIR
STOCKINGS AND THEIR BUSINESS
SUIT FOR THE SECOND HALF OF
THEIR DAY AND ARE WORKING IN
A JUNIOR KINDERGARTEN CLASS
FOR THE FIRST HALF OF THEIR
DAY.
AND SO THEIR TEMPERAMENT MAY
NOT BE WELL-SUITED AND THAT
IS HATCHING MORE AND MORE
I'M FINDING.

Maureen says OKAY.
GOOD LUCK.
THANKS VERY MUCH FOR THE
CALL.
TRACY IN MISSISSAUGA WRITES
“I AM THE PARENT OF A
PROFOUNDLY DEAF CHILD WHO
HAS A COCHLEAR IMPLANT
OPINION WHO JUST STARTED
KINDERGARTEN IN THE PUBLIC
SCHOOL SYSTEM.
HE'S BEEN MAINSTREAMED JUST
AS WE HAD HOPED AND HAS AN
ITINERANT TEACHER WHO VISITS
DAILY TO WORK ON THE SPEECH
AND CLASSROOM SITTING.
THIS SAME TEACHER IS DUE TO
RETIRE AND I'VE HEARD RUMORS
MY SCHOOL SYSTEM, PEEL, IS
SHORT ON ITINERANT TEACHER.
WHO CAN I CONTACT REGARDING
THE LEELTS IN THAT MATTER TO
ENSURE MY SON DOESN'T LOSE
THIS IMPORTANT SCHOOLING?
PLEASE GIVE ME GUIDELINES SO
THAT I MAY BE ABLE TO
FOLLOW.”
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THE
LEGALITIES OF THIS BUT JUST
AS THE PARENT OF A SPECIAL
NEEDS STUDENT WHAT SHOULD
SHE BE DOING?

Beverley says WELL, I'M ACTUALLY NOT
THAT CONFIDENT I CAN ANSWER
THIS QUESTION, BUT FOR SURE
YOUR SCHOOL TRUSTEE IS THERE
TO SUPPORT YOU.
IT ALSO DEPENDS ON THE
ATTITUDE OF THE
TEACHER-PARENT-SCHOOL BODY.
ARE THEY REALLY SUPPORTIVE
OF KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS
IN THE SCHOOL?
AND IF THEY ARE, THEN THEY
WILL BE INCENSED, PERHAPS,
AT THESE SERVICES BEING
DROPPED.
SO GET THE SUPPORT OF THE
SCHOOL THAT WAY AS WELL.
BUT THE SCHOOL TRUSTEE IS
REALLY YOUR VOICE.

Maureen says OKAY.
TRY THE TRUSTEE.
AND THEN I'D GO TO THE
M.P.P., TOO, BECAUSE THEY'RE
THE PEOPLE WHO DESIGNATE THE
MONEY FOR THESE THINGS, TOO,
AS WELL.
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE
PARENT-TEACHER INTERVIEW,
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD'S
TEACHER THIS AFTERNOON WITH
BEVERLEY CATHCART ROSS.
IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION GIVE
US A CALL.
AND FRAN IS IN MEAFORD.
HI FRAN.

The Caller says HI.

Maureen says HI.
GO AHEAD, FRAN.

The Caller says I JUST WANTED TO
EXPRESS TO YOUR GUESTS THERE
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR
PARENTS TO EXPRESS TO THEIR
TEACHERS OR LET THEM KNOW IF
THERE'S ANY ILLNESS IN THEIR
FAMILY.
WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS IN
GRADE 13 I WAS VERY ILL AND
SHE WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING TO
HER TEACHER OR TO HER PEERS.
AND WHEN I CALLED SOME OF
HER TEACHERS AND TOLD THEM
THE SITUATION, THEY WERE
ABLE TO HELP MY DAUGHTER
DEAL WITH HER SITUATION, AND
IT WAS MUCH, MUCH BETTER.

Maureen says SO THIS IS ALONG
THE LINES OF THE OTHER
CALLER WHO SAID I LET THEM
KNOWTA WE WERE GOING THROUGH
A DIVORCE AND IT MIGHT
AFFECT HIS BEHAVIOUR IN THE
SCHOOL.

Beverley says YES.
I MEAN, IT'S A FAIRLY
OBVIOUS THING, WHEN YOU
THINK ABOUT IT.
THE FACT THAT THERE'S A
CHANGE IN THE CHILD'S
ENVIRONMENT, SO IT'S GOING
TO HAVE AN IMPACT ON THEM.
AND SOME CHILDREN ARE BETTER
AT HIDING IT THAN OTHERS BUT
WE DON'T WANT OUR KIDS
HIDING IT.
WE WANT THEM TO FEEL IT'S
OKAY TO SHARE THE UPS AND
DOWNS IN LIFE, AND THAT THE
SCHOOL IS A PART OF THEIR
LIFE.
IT ISN'T OUTSIDE OF THEIR
LIFE.

Maureen says AND THAT GOES
BACK TO -- YOU WERE SAYING
YOUR SON STARTED TO DEVELOP
STOMACH ACHES AND DIDN'T
WANT TO GO IT SCHOOL.
WHEN YOU LOOK BACK TO
RETROSPECT, WAS HE TRYING TO
TELL THAT YOU HE WAS AFRAID
OF HIS TEACHER IN OTHER WAYS
BUT YOU DIDN'T PICK UP ON
IT?
OR DID HE NOT WANT TO TELL
YOU?

Beverley says YOU KNOW, HE DIDN'T WANT
TO TELL US.
NOW AGAIN, YOU GET TO KNOW
THE PERSONALITY OF YOUR
CHILD.
MY SON ISN'T THAT FOCUSED ON
HIS INNER SELF.
HE IS A VERY OUTSIDE GUY,
AND SO HE WASN'T THAT IN
TOUCH WITH HIS FEELINGS,
WHICH IS REALLY ANOTHER
THING WE WORK ON IN OUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH OUR
CHILDREN, IS HELPING THEM
OPEN UP WITH THEIR FEELINGS
AND GIVE THEM A VOICE.
SO THIS WAS ONE OF HIS FIRST
EXPERIENCES THAT I THINK
WHERE HE OWNED IT COMPLETELY
AND HE WAS OUT THERE, OUT
THERE IN THE WORLD ON HIS
OWN, INDEPENDENT OF US.
AND SO THAT I UNDERSTAND
PENS OF US, HE WAS
STRUGGLING ON HOW TO COPE
WITH THIS ON HIS OWN, AND
THEN WHEN HE DIDN'T COPE, HE
STARTED TO SHOW THE DISPLAY,
THE SYMPTOMS.
AND SO IT TOOK A LOTS OF
ENCOURAGEMENT TO GET HIM TO
SHARE THE PROBLEM.

Maureen says WHEN YOU DID GO
TO TALK TO THE TEACHER, DID
YOU BRING YOUR SON ASTRONG
IN SOME SCHOOLS ENCOURAGE TO
YOU BRING YOUR CHILD ALONG
TO A PARENT-TEACHER
INTERVIEW.

Beverley says NO WE DIDN'T.
I WOULD, I WOULD SAY THAT
THAT'S DEPENDENT ON THE
PURPOSE OF THE INTERVIEW.
I FELT THAT THIS WAS -- WE
WERE EXPLORING ALTERNATIVE,
AND I DIDN'T WANT MY SON TO
BE VALVED IN THAT.
SO I DID COMMUNICATE BACK TO
HIM SOME OF THE THINGS WE
DISCUSSED AND I ALSO
COMMUNICATED WITH HIM SOME
THINGS HE COULD DO PRIVATELY
TO COPE BETTER.
BUT I TOOK MY DAUGHTER TO A
TEACHER INTERVIEW YESTERDAY,
ACTUALLY.
MY ELDEST, MY 17-YEAR-OLD
BECAUSE SHE HAS SOME
LEARNING PROBLEMS AND I
WANTED THE TEACHER AND MY
DAUGHTER TO WORK IT OUT.
I WANTED THEM TO COME UP
WITH SOME SOLUTIONS
TOGETHER.
SO I MAY -- I WAS THE
MOTIVATING FORCE BEHIND THE
MEETING, BUT I WANTED THEM
TO COMMUNICATE AND HOW CAN
WE WORK BETTER TOGETHER WITH
MY LEARNING STYLE?
AND SO THAT WAS TERRIFIC.
AND THEY WERE THRILLED TO
HAVE HER THERE.

Maureen says OH, GOOD.
AND SHE WASN'T RELUCTANT TO GO?

Beverley says NOT AFTER SHE UNDERSTOOD
THAT SHE'S GOT TO LIVE THIS
SHE HAS TO BE ON TOP OF THIS
HERSELF, THAT SHE IS FAR
MORE INDEPENDENCE OF ME THAN
A SEVEN-YEAR-OLD IS, NOW.
SO NO, SHE WAS QUITE HAPPY
TO BE THERE.

Maureen says GOOD.
OKAY, KOWSKI IS IN
SCARBOROUGH.
HELLO?

The Caller says HI.

Maureen says HI.

The Caller says I'M CALLING ON
BEHALF OF MY SISTER.
SHE HAS A SIX-YEAR-OLD SON.
HE WAS ATTENDING PUBLIC
SCHOOL -- I'M SORRY, PRIVATE
SCHOOL, THEN HE TRANSFERRED
TO A PUBLIC SCHOOL.
WHEN HE WAS IN PRIVATE
SCHOOL HE WAS DOING WELL AND
HIS FOUNDATION WAS GREAT.
THEN DUE TO FINANCIAL ISSUES
HE WAS TRANSFERRED TO PUBLIC
SCHOOL, AND NOW HE IS
STARTING TO SAY “I KNOW ALL
THIS STUFF, YOU'RE
REPEATING” SO HE'S NOT
REALLY FOCUSING IN THE CLASS
AND AS A RESULT HIS MARKS
ARE ALSO COMING DOWN AND
HE'S NOT DOING WELL ON THE
TESTS AND HE'S BEING QUITE
RESTLESS IN THE CLASS ALSO.
SO MY SISTER HAS TRIED TO
SPEAK WITH THE TEACHER, BUT
UNFORTUNATELY SHE HAS GONE
ON MATERNITY LEAVE, AND IT'S
A NEW TEACHER IN THE CLASS.
SO I DON'T THINK THE TEACHER
REALLY KNOWS HIM, AND HE'S
SIX YEARS OLD.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO TO
IMPROVE -- GET HIM MORE
INVOLVED IN THE CLASS AND
MORE FOCUSED SO THAT HE
DOESN'T GET DISTRACTED AND
GET INTO OTHER ACTIVITIES?

Beverley says WELL, YOU'VE GOT A VERY
GOOD POINT, BECAUSE WHEN A
CHILD AT THAT AGE GETS
DISTRACTED, IT MAY END UP
BEING IN TROUBLE.
SO HE'S SIX?
SO HE'S PROBABLY IN GRADE
ONE, IS HE?
GRADE ONE?

Maureen says IS THAT RIGHT, KOWSKI?

The Caller says YES, NECESSARY
GRADE ONE.

Beverley says OFTEN GRADE ONE IS A
TOUGH GRADE FOR BOYS IN
PARTICULAR, BECAUSE THEY
HAVE TO LEARN TO SIT MORE,
AND THEY DO GET MORE
RESTLESS AND THE TEACHERS
ARE PULLING THEIR HAIR OUT
BY SPRING BECAUSE THEY'RE
GETTING SWIRLY NOTICE
CLASSROOM.
SO THAT CAN BE A DIFFICULT
AGE AS WELL.
BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE HE'S BEEN
EXPOSED TO A MORE ADVANCED
LEARNING ENVIRONMENT SO THAT
MAY NOT BE AN ISSUE FOR HIM.
THE SCHOOL NEEDS TO BE
INFORMED OF HIS PREVIOUS
EXPERIENCE AND MAYBE THE
FILES FROM HIS PREVIOUS
SCHOOL HAVE BEEN FORWARDED
BY NOW.
SOMETIMES IT TAKES A COUPLE
OF MONTHS, SO THAT THEY'RE
AWARE OF WHAT HE HAS BEEN
EXPOSED TO.
AND THEN THEY CAN SAY MAYBE
HE SHOULD BE IN A GRADE ONE-TWO
SPLIT, BECAUSE THE GRADE TWO
CURRICULUM IS A LITTLE MORE
ADVANCED, HE'D MAYBE
FUNCTION BETTER WITH A GRADE
TWO CURRICULUM.
THEY CAN ALSO CONSIDER HIM
FOR A GIFTED PROGRAMME DOWN
THE ROAD.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME, HE HAS
TO BE STIMULATED, HE HAS TO
HAVE A FOCUS IN THE
CLASSROOM.
SO THE TEACHER, HOPEFULLY,
WITH THE LACK OF CONTINUITY
WITH THE CHANGE IN TEACHER
AT THIS EARLY STAGE IN THE
GAME ISN'T HELPFUL EERKT BUT
YOUR SISTER SHOULD PROBABLY
CONTACT THE PRINCIPAL AND
SAY WE HAVE EARLY SIGNS OF
TROUBLE HERE AND I WANT TO
NIP IT IN THE BUD.

Maureen says I'M A LITTLE
SURPRISED THAT IT'S ONLY A
SIX-YEAR-OLD WHEN WE'RE
TALKING ABOUT HIS GRADES
HAVE SLIPPED.
I MEAN WHAT THE HECK KIND OF
GRADES DID HE HAVE LAST
YEAR?
RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING YOU
SAID IN THOSE YOUNGER AGES,
YOU'RE MORE WORRIED ABOUT
HOW THEY'RE INTERACTING
SOCIALLY THAN THEIR MARKS.

Beverley says WELL, I DON'T KNOW THAT --
THE PUBLIC SYSTEM DON'T
REALLY GIVE MARKS.
IT'S A NUMBERING SYSTEM, AND
ARE THEY AT CLASS -- AT
GRADE LEVEL OR ABOVE OR
BELOW?
AND THERE'S A RAIN I CAN'T
THAT'S ACCEPTABLE.

Maureen says RIGHT.

Beverley says IF THEY'RE FAIRLY
ADVANCED AND SUBSTANTIALLY
HIGHER THAN THE BAFFLE THE
CLASS, THEN THEY HAVE TO
LOOK AT WAYS IN WHICH TO
BRING MORE ADVANCED
CURRICULUM TO THAT CHILD.
SO IT IS BECOMING A MORE
CHILD-FOCUSED,
CHILD-CENTERED ENVIRONMENT
IN THE CLASSROOM SO THAT
THEY CAN DO THAT.
GRADE ONE, YOU CAN HAVE
CHILDREN STILL STRUGGLING AT
THE SK LEVEL AND KIDS THAT
ARE FUNCTIONING AT THE GRADE
TWO OR THREE LEVEL SO THE
RANGE IS HUGE.
IT'S PROBABLY ONE OF THE
TOUGHEST GRADES TO TEACH.

Maureen says WHEN YOU LOOK AT
YOUR CHILDREN'S MARKS, EITHER
ON A REPORT CARD OR WHATEVER,
DO YOU LIKE TO SEE WHAT THE
CLASS AVERAGE IS?
DO YOU LIKE TO SEE HOW
THEY'RE DOING VIS-A-VIS
OTHER KIDS IN.

Beverley says YES.
YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOUR
CHILE'S PROGRESSING,
DEVELOPING WELL, AND IT'S AN
INDICATOR IF THEY'RE BE LOW
ANDRAS STAY THERE, THEN WHAT
KIND OF SUPPORT DO THEY NEED
TO PERHAPS BECOME MORE
COMFORTABLE WITH THE
MATERIAL THAT THEY'RE
LEARNING AND ACHIEVING AT A
HIGHER LEVEL?

Maureen says MY DAUGHTER'S
LEARNED TO REALLY ARE LATCH
ONTO THE CLASS AVERAGE.
THE CLASS AVERAGE ON A
RECENT TEST WAS 65, AND SHE
GOT A 78.
AND SHE SAID YOU SHOULD BE
THRILLED I GOT A 78.
AN 8 WOULD BE BETTER BUT SHE
WANTS TO US SAY LOOK, THE
CLASS AVERAGE IS THIS.
I DON'T KNOW, WITH THE NEW
EXPECTATIONS FROM THEM,
YOU'VE GOT KIDS IN
HIGH SCHOOL, IF THE CLASS
AVERAGE IS LOW DOES THAT
MEAN THIS IS TOUGHER WORK
FOR SERVE IN.

Beverley says WELL AVERAGES, YOU HAVE
TO BE A LITTLE CAREFUL WITH
AVERAGES.
THEY CAN BE A LITTLE
CONFUSING.
THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME
EXTREMES IN THAT AVERAGE.
YOU KNOW THE VERY HIGH MARKS
AND THE VERY LOW MARKS.
SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE
AVERAGE WITH A GRAIN OF
SALT.
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY,
MAUREEN, THAN THE MARK, IS
ARE THEY LEARNING?
AND THE MARK IS AFTERNOON,
AFTERNOON REFLECTS HOW MUCH
THEY'VE LEARNED.
SO DO THEY FEEL GOOD?
THE EVALUATION OF A MARK
SHOULD BE COMING FROM THE
CHILD.
YOU COULD PROBABLY GET YOUR
DAUGHTER TO PINPOINT WHERE
SHE FEELS SHE FALLS IN THE
CLASS IN TERMS OF POSITION,
IS SHE IN THE --

Maureen says OH, YEAH,
THEY'RE VERY AWARE OF THAT.

Beverley says SHE COULD PROBABLY TELL
YOU IF SHE'S GOING TO
ACHIEVE APPROXIMATELY A 70 percent
OR AN 80 percent HERSELF.
SO THEY USUALLY KNOW HOW
WELL THEY'RE DOING.
BUT THE MARK ISN'T -- THE
END RESULT ISN'T THE GOAL IN
SCHOOLS.
THE END RESULT IS OFTEN WHAT
WE FOCUS ON, BUT IT'S THE
PROCESS THAT'S IMPORTANT.
HOW THEY LEARN, ARE THEY
RESOURCE, ARE THEY
INDEPENDENT LEARNERS?
ARE THEY ACHIEVING AT A
LEVEL THAT'S ACCEPTABLE FOR
THEM AND FOR THE CLASS?

Maureen says OKAY.
CAROL IS IN TORONTO.
CAROL, WELCOME.
HI.

The Caller says HI.

Maureen says HI.

The Caller says I'M CALLING WITH
A COMMENT, AND MAYBE SOME
QUESTIONS ABOUT A PREVIOUS
CALLER.
YOU HAD SOMEONE CALL IN WHO
HAD A FIVE-YEAR-OLD IN GRADE
ONE WHOSE TEACHER WAS
YELLING AT THEM.

Maureen says YES.

Beverley says YES.

The Caller says IN A VERY LOUD
VOICE, AND RIGHT AWAY MY
ALARM BELLS WENT OFF.
WHY IS THIS CHILD IN GRADE
ONE IF THEY ARE ONLY FIVE
YEARS OLD?
IS IT BECAUSE THEY HAVE A
DECEMBER BIRTHDAY?
OR IS IT BECAUSE THEY HAVE
BEEN PROMOTED EARLY INTO
GRADE ONE?
AND IF SO, THEY MAY BE
INTELLECTUALLY CAPABLE OF
THE GRADE ONE PROGRAMME BUT
EMOTIONALLY NOT READY TO
DEAL WITH THE DIFFICULTIES
OF BEING IN GRADE ONE.
AND I, I JUST WIND GHAIRD
YOUR GUEST WOULD THINK OF
THAT OR -- I SUPPOSE THERE'S
NO WAY OF GETTING THAT
PERSON BACK.

Maureen says NO, THERE ISN'T,
UNFORTUNATELY.
BUT IS IT MORE ACCEPTABLE TO
BE YELLING AT KIDS IN GRADE
ONE THAN IN KINDERGARTEN?
I DON'T KNOW THAT THIS
REALLY MATTERS IF THE
TEACHERS --

Beverley says WELL, THE EMOTIONAL LEVEL
OF THE CHILD TO HANDLE THE
CURRICULUM OR THE
ENVIRONMENT IF THEY ARE A
DECEMBER BABY, AND A BOY,
THEY MAY BE A LOT LESS
MATURE THAN A JANUARY GIRL
IN THE SAME CLASS.
SO YES, IT DOES HAVE AN
IMPACT, AND THAT'S THE OTHER
THING THAT WHEN I WAS
EXPLAINING A MOMENT AGO
ABOUT THE RANGE IN A GRADE
ONE CLASS CAN BE QUITE
DRAMATIC.
THAT A TEACHER HAS TO COPE
AND DEAL WITH THAT RANGE IN
EMOTIONAL ABILITY AND MATURE
AS WELL.
SO NO, YELLING IS ONE TOOL A
TEACHER HAS, AND IT'S ONE
THAT WE WISH THEY DIDN'T
USE.

Maureen says YEAH.
ONE WOULD.
IT'S GOT TO BE HARD, THOUGH.
HERE'S AN E-MAIL.
MY DAUGHTER IS FIVE AND
SHE'S IN GRADE ONE.
SHE'S USUALLY OUTGOING AND
HAS MANY FRIENDS BUT IN
SCHOOL SHE SEEMS TO HAVE NO
FRIENDS AND PLAYS WITH
HARDLY ANY KIDS.
HERE'S A FIVE-YEAR-OLD IN
GRADE ONE.
IF SHE DOES, THEY'RE MUCH
OLDER THAN HER.
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS?
SO SHOULD THIS KID BE HELD
BACK SO THAT SHE'S NOT WITH
KIDS SO MUCH OLDER THAN HER?

Beverley says WELL, I THINK THIS IS
GOING TO BE A MATTER OF
LEARNING TO COPE AND HELPING
YOUR CHILD FIND TWICE MAKE
FRIENDSHIPS IN THE CLASS.
GO TO THE TEACHER, SAY “WHO
DOES SHE TEND TO SIT WITH
MOSTLY IN CLASS ACTIVITIES?
DOES SHE GRAVITATE TO ANY
CHILDREN IN PARTICULAR?
CAN I START DEVELOPING THAT
RELATIONSHIP OUTSIDE OF THE
CLASS ROOM?
“ AGAIN THESE THINGS TAKE
TIME.
WE'RE ONLY INTO, WHAT IS IT
THE FIRST OF NOVEMBER TODAY?
IT TAKES USUALLY UP TO THREE
MONTHS FOR KIDS TO ADAPT TO
A NEW ENVIRONMENT.
SO WE'RE INTO MONTH THREE.
SO THE PARENTS MAY HAVE
ALREADY SEEN THINS SETTLING
OUT THAT HAD PROBLEMS IN
SEPTEMBER OR OCTOBER.
SO IF IT'S STILL PERSISTING,
A LOT OF INTERVIEWS ARE
HAPPENING THIS MONDAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL
THE INTERVIEW, CALL AND SAY
“I'M STARTING TO SEE SOME
SIGNS OF A LITTLE BIT OF
DISCOURAGEMENT.”

Maureen says OKAY.
LISA IS IN TORONTO.
HELLO, LISA.

The Caller says HI THERE.

Maureen says HI.

The Caller says I'M CALLING
BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER IS ALSO
IN GRADE ONE.
WE SEEM TO BE HAVING A LOT
OF THOSE KINDS OF CALLS
TODAY BUT HER CLASS, CORDING
IT A COUPLE OF PARENTS WHO
HAVE BEEN IN TO ACTUALLY
CATCH THE CLASS SIT IN ON
CLASSES IS COMPLETELY AND
TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.
KIDS RUNNING AROUND, YELLING
AT EACH OTHER, SWEARING IN
THE CLASSROOM, TEACHER
SCREAMING AT THE CHILDREN IN
THE CLASSROOM, AND I'M JUST
WONDERING WHAT WE AS A GROUP
CAN DO AS PARENTS?
BECAUSE NOW IT'S COME TO THE
POINT WHERE A FEW PEOPLE
HAVE TALKED WITH HER
ALREADY.
SOME HAVE GONE TO THE
PRINCIPAL, AND SHE'S STILL
NOT GETTING THE SUPPORT THAT
SHE NEEDS TO BE ABLE TO TAKE
CONTROL OF THIS CLASS.
AND THE KIDS ARE GOOD KIDS,
YOU KNOW?
THEY WERE EXCELLING LAST
YEAR IN SENIOR K. AND THEY
ALL MOVED TOGETHER INTO
GRADE ONE.
SO IT'S NOT A BEHAVIOUR
ISSUE, YOU KNOW?

Maureen says SO YOU'RE SAYING
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS
TEACHER THAT LEADS KIDS TO
BELIEVE THEY CAN GET AWAY
WITH THIS BEHAVIOUR.

The Caller says YEAH, YEAH.

Maureen says AND SHE CAN'T
TAKE CONTROL.
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?

Beverley says WELL, SOUNDS LIKE A LOT
HAS BEEN DONE, AND NO
SATISFACTION IS HAPPENING.
UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE
TIMES WHEN PARENTS HAVE TO
GET TOGETHER AS A GROUP AND
APPROACH A SCHOOL AND SAY
ENOUGH'S ENOUGH.
THERE ARE GOING TO BE THE
CHILDREN THAT ARE WILLING TO
STIT AND NOT BEING A PART OF
THE DISRUPTION, BUT THEY'RE
NOT GOING TO BE LEARNING,
AND THEN THERE ARE THE
CHILDREN THAT AREN'T
LEARNING BECAUSE THEY'RE
PARTS OF THE RUPGS.
SO THERE MAY BE A
REQUIREMENT OF MORE
PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT FOR A
TIME UNTIL THE TEACHER GETS
CONTROL OF THE CLASS.
I'VE EVEN HAD IN ONE GRADE,
THE PRINCIPAL TOOK OVER THE
CLASS BECAUSE THE TEACHER
WASN'T FUNCTIONING WELL.
SO YOU KNOW, THERE ARE
THINGS THAT CAN BE DONE, AND
IF IT PERSISTS AND THE
TEACHER DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
BECOMING MORE SKILLFUL, IF
THE VOICE IS RAISING AND THE
ENVIRONMENT ITSELF -- YOU
SEE, PARENTS AND ADULTS
OFTEN SET THE TONE OR THE
ENVIRONMENT OF A CLASS OR
HOME.
IF WE'RE YELLING, THERE'S
GOING TO BE A LOT MORE
VOLUME OF NOISE IN THE CLASS
ROOM AND HOME.
IF WE TEND TO BE MORE CALM
BY NATURE AND TAKE A MORE
CALM APPROACH, THEN THE
ATMOSPHERE WILL BE AFFECTED
DRAMATICALLY BY THAT AND
YOUR CHILDREN WILL PROBABLY
NOT BE YELLERS.
YEAH, MODELLING.
MODELLING.

Maureen says WE MODEL AND
THEY PICK IT UP.
ALRIGHT LISA, I WISH YOU
LUCK WITH THAT SCOMPROB I
WANT TO THANK YOU, BEVERLEY
FOR BEING HERE TODAY.

Beverley says WENT QUICKLY.

Maureen says YEAH, IT DID.
HAVE A GREAT SCHOOL YEAR.
BEVERLEY CATHCART ROSS RUNS
THE PARENT EDUCATION
NETWORK.
YOU CAN CALL AT 416-480-2499,
AND FOR MORE PARENTING
ADVICE YOU CAN CHECK OUT
CANADIAN Parents Online,
www.canadianparents.com
That’s all the time we have for More to Life today.
I’m Maureen Taylor. Try to tune in Monday through Friday, 1 to 2 o’clock.

Watch: Dog Rules - Talking To Kids' Teacher