Transcript: Heartbeat - episode 11 - Mountains and Molehills | Oct 09, 2020

The theme song plays.

A train crosses the countryside.

A title appears on screen. It reads "Heartbeat."

The lyrics of the song go
HEARTBEAT
WHY DO YOU MISS WHEN
MY BABY KISSES ME?
HEARTBEAT
WHY DOES OUR LOVE KISS
STAY IN MY MEMORY?

Against a rural background, fast clips show four men wearing police uniforms, an old man with a moustache, a man wearing a coat and a beret, an angry man wearing a suit, a man holding a dog, a red-haired woman, a blond woman with bangs and a young smiling woman in their daily activities.
Captions read "Starring Duncan Bell, Peter Benson, James Carlton, Derek Fowlds, Geoffrey Hughes, Mark Jordon, David Lonsdale, Aislin McCuckin, Tricia Penrose, William Simons and Sarah Tansey."

Then, the title of the episode appears on screen. It reads "Mountains and Molehills by Susan Wilkins."

(shouting, cheering)

Two young men recklessly drive a car.

Steve spots them by the road and says YEAH, I'VE GOT THEM.

Tracey waits in Liz's office. She is in her early teens, with long brown hair in a ponytail. She wears a brown jacket.

Jenny says SHOULDN'T BE LONG NOW.

Tracey says I SKIVED OFF WORK.
MRS. KELLETT'S GONNA KILL ME.

Jenny says I'M SURE IF YOU TOLD HER YOU
HAD A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.

Tracey says I'VE ONLY JUST STARTED UP AT
THE HALL.

Jenny says FIRST JOB, IS IT?

Tracey says YEAH, DEAD SCARY, IT IS.
I KEEP GETTING LOST.

Jenny says YOU'LL SOON GET THE HANG OF
IT.

Jenny says I ALWAYS WANTED TO WORK IN A
SHOP.
HEY, THINK HIS LORDSHIP'S GOT
ANY HANDSOME RELATIVES THAT
MIGHT TAKE A FANCY TO ME?
MARRY ME AND MAKE ME A RICH
LADY?

Jenny says YOU NEVER KNOW!

Steve chases the joyriders.

Man 1 says YEAH!
YEAH!
HEY, HEY!
(shouting)

Man 2 says YEAH!
HEY, PIGGY, WANNA PLAY TAG?

He throws a bottle to the road.

Man 1 says FANCY A DRINK, PIGGY?

Phil says GOT YA.

Phil stands in the middle of the road.

Man 2 says WHAT THE HELL'S HE PLAYING
AT?

(tires screeching)
The car suddenly turns the other way.

Steve says THEY ARE REALLY STARTING TO
ANNOY ME.

Phil says RIGHT, WELL LET'S GET AFTER
THEM!

Liz says YOUR RESULTS HAVE COME
THROUGH AND YOU ARE DEFINITELY
PREGNANT.

Tracey says OH NO.
MY DAD'S GONNA KILL ME.

Liz says I'M SURE IT WON'T COME TO
THAT.

Tracey says NO, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S
LIKE.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
HE'S GONNA KICK ME OUT FOR SURE!
(crying)

Liz says PERHAPS I SHOULD HAVE A WORD
WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS.

Tracey says NO, NO, PROMISE ME PLEASE,
YOU WON'T TELL THEM.

Liz says TRACEY, PLEASE, YOU'RE ONLY
16, AND...

Tracey says IF HE FINDS OUT, HE'S GONNA
GIVE ME SUCH A HIDING!
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

(car approaching)
The car drives at high speed.

Bernie says WHAT THE--!

(tires screeching)
(children shrieking)

Children get out of a bus.

Oscar says WATCH IT, WATCH IT!
HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING,
LADS.

A boy after crossing the street says TOO SLOW, DIBLEY.

Phil says FLIPPING KIDS!
(honking horn)

Paul is twelve years old. He has short blond hair and wears a school uniform.

Angry, Paul says I'LL STILL GET YOU!

They boy imitates a chicken.

(thudding)
Paul crosses the street and Phil hits him with the car.

Phil says OH NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.

Oscar feels Paul's pulse.

Liz says I DO WANT TO HELP YOU,
TRACEY.
CAN YOU TELL ME HIS NAME?

Tracey says LENNY.

Liz says LENNY?
AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN GOING
OUT TOGETHER?

Tracey says IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, I'VE SORT
OF KNOWN HIM ALL MY LIFE.

Liz says HE'S A FRIEND.

Tracey says HE'S MY SECOND COUSIN.
WE WERE JUST MUCKING ABOUT.
DAD WILL KILL US.
(knocking)

Jenny walks in and says SORRY, THERE'S BEEN AN
ACCIDENT.

Oscar says COME ON, LAD.
ANYONE KNOW HIS NAME?

The boy says PAUL DIBLEY.

Phil says HE JUST... HE CAME FROM
NOWHERE.
I JUST DIDN'T SEE HIM.

The Boy says YOU'VE PROBABLY KILLED HIM!

Oscar says IT WAS YOU HE WAS RUNNING
AFTER.

Liz says EXCUSE ME.

Oscar says AH, THE POLICE CAR HIT HIM,
HIS NAME'S PAUL.

Liz says PAUL?
CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Tracey says WHAT'S GOING ON?

The Boy says THAT COPPER GOT PAUL.

Tracey says PAUL?!
IT'S ME BROTHER!
IS HE DEAD?

A song plays I AM A MOLE
AND I LIVE IN A HOLE

(dog barking)

Lord Ashfordly walks into his garden. He is in his sixties, clean-shaven with receding blond hair. He wears a brown jacket, yellow vest, matching tie and a white shirt.

Lord Ashfordly says SO DIBLEY, ARE WE MAKING
HEADWAY?

Lenny smokes next to a wheelbarrow and dirt mounds. He is in his teens. He is clean-shaven with curly brown hair. He wears a patterned pullover over a plaid shirt.

Lenny says WELL, AS YOUR LORDSHIP CAN
SEE, THE LITTLE BLIGHTERS ARE
EVERYWHERE.
I'M FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE.

Lord Ashfordly says YES, WELL, I'VE ARRANGED SOME
EXPERT ASSISTANCE FOR YOU.

David says GOOD AFTERNOON, MY, UM,
LORDSHIP.
MRS. KELLETT, SHE PHONED, SAID
YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME.

Lord Ashfordly says AFTERNOON, DAVID.
NOW AS I RECALL, YOU USED TO
HELP CLAUDE GREENGRASS GET RID
OF MOLES.

David says OH, YEAH, WELL MR. GREENGRASS
I MEAN, HE WAS THE BEST MOLE
CATCHER IN THE COUNTY.

Lord Ashfordly says WELL, I'M COMMANDEERING YOUR
SERVICES FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,
DAVID.
AS YOU CAN SEE, DIBLEY HERE
NEEDS SOME HELP.

David says OH, BUT I...

Lenny says I'M NOT SURE WHAT HELP HE'D
BE.

David says OH, WELL, MR. VERNON, YOU
KNOW, HE'S AWAY, HE'S ON
BUSINESS IN SCUNTHORPE.
I DON'T THINK HE'D LIKE...

Lord Ashfordly says OH, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT
SCRIPPS, I'LL SQUARE IT WITH
HIM.
I JUST WANT YOU TWO WORKING
TOGETHER, I MEAN, LOOK AT THE
STATE OF THIS LAWN.
I'M RELYING TO SORT IT OUT,
DAVID.

David says YEAH, BUT I...

Lenny says THAT'S ALL I NEED, STUCK WITH
A RUDDY HALF-WIT.

At the hospital, Liz says HE'S GOT A BROKEN LEG,
ANCILLARY CUTS AND BRUISES.
IT'S NOT AS BAD AS WE THOUGHT,
THOUGH.

Merton says WELL THAT'S SOMETHING,
I SUPPOSE.

Liz says HOW'S PHIL?

Merton says UH, HE'S HOLDING UP.

They walk into Paul's room. His family is visiting him.

In his late forties with combed blond hair, Don says HOPE YOU'VE GOT THAT YOUNG
COPPER OF YOURS UNDER LOCK AND
KEY, MERTON.

Merton says MR. DIBLEY...

Don says OH, IT'S MR. DIBLEY NOW, IS
IT?
YOU'RE NOT USUALLY THAT POLITE.

Merton says DON, NO ONE CAN REGRET THIS
ACCIDENT MORE THAN I DO.

Glad is in her forties, with short brown hair with bangs. She wears a pale brown cardigan.

Glad says ACCIDENT, YOU MAKE IT SOUND
LIKE IT'S HIS FAULT!

Don says YOU LOT, YOU MAKE ME SICK.
ALREADY YOU'RE TRYING TO WRIGGLE
OUT OF IT.

Merton says LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE ANGRY.

Don says YOU'LL NOT GET AWAY WITH
THIS, I WANT HIM PROSECUTED.

Merton says THERE'LL BE A THOROUGH
INVESTIGATION TO ESTABLISH THE
FACTS.

Don says FACTS, I'LL TELL YOU THE
FACTS.
AND I'LL BE TELLING THEM TO THE
PRESS TOO.
SOME COPPER DRIVING LIKE A
MANIAC NEARLY KILLED MY SON.
LOOK AT HIM, LYING THERE.
INNOCENT LITTLE LAD.
HE COULD BE DAMAGED FOR LIFE.

Liz says IT'S A SIMPLE FRACTURE, MR.
DIBLEY.
AT HIS AGE IT'LL HEAL QUITE
QUICKLY.

Don says AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO
COMFORT HIS POOR MOTHER, AS SHE
WATCHES HIM SUFFER?
I KNOW YOU DONE YOUR BEST FOR
HIM, DOCTOR.
YOU WAS THERE STRAIGHT AWAY.
I'M NOT HAVING A GO AT YOU.
ALL I AM SAYING IS, THE GUILTY
SHOULD PAY.
AND I'LL MAKE RUDDY SURE THEY
DO.

Now, at the police station, Oscar says YEAH, WELL I SAW THE WHOLE
THING, THE LAD JUST RAN STRAIGHT
OUT FROM BEHIND THE BUS.
BELLAMY HERE DIDN'T STAND A
CHANCE.

Phil says THANKS, OSCAR.

Merton says AS YOU KNOW, IT'LL BE UP TO
TRAFFIC TO INVESTIGATE.

Alf says SURELY IT'S ONLY A FORMALITY,
SARGE.

Merton says WELL I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.
UNFORTUNATELY, DON DIBLEY
WANTS BELLAMY PROSECUTED.

Oscar says DON DIBLEY!

Steve says WE'VE HAULED HIM OUT OF
ENOUGH BAR ROOM BRAWLS.

Merton says WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY I WANT
EVERYTHING DONE BY THE BOOK.
BELLAMY, YOU'LL BE CONFINED TO
THE STATION, ABSOLUTELY NO
DRIVING.
YOU CAN CATCH UP WITH SOME
PAPER WORK.

Steve says THAT'S HARDLY FAIR, SARGE.
IF WE HADN'T HAVE CAUGHT THOSE
JOYRIDERS, SOMEONE COULD'VE
EASILY ENDED UP GETTING KILLED.

Merton says YES I KNOW, BUT THE
INVESTIGATION WON'T TAKE LONG.
AND MEANWHILE, LET'S
CONCENTRATE ON CALMING THINGS
DOWN, SHALL WE?

Oscar says HMM.

Now, Glad, Tracey and Mrs. Kellett have a cup of tea. Tracey wears a pink maid dress.

Glad says HE'LL NEED ROUND THE CLOCK
NURSING.
WHO KNOWS IF HE'LL EVER WALK
AGAIN.

Mrs. Kellett is in her early seventies, with white hair. She wears a gray cardigan over a black and white blouse.

Mrs. Kellett says POOR LAD.
I'LL SPEAK TO HIS LORDSHIP.

Glad says OH, WOULD YOU, MRS. K?
YOU KNOW I HATE LETTING YOU
DOWN.

Lenny and David walk in.

Lenny says I'VE JUST HEARD FROM THE LADS
OUTSIDE ABOUT OUR PAUL.
IS HE GOING TO BE OKAY?

Glad says IT'S TOUCH AND GO, LOVE.

Lenny says ANY CHANCE OF A BREW, THEN?

Tracey says WE NEED TO TALK.

Lenny says WHAT?

Mrs. Kellett says SIT YOURSELF DOWN, DAVID.

Lenny says PREGNANT?
WHO'S THE DAD?

Tracey says YOU, LENNY!

Lenny says ME?!
BUT WE ONLY...

Tracey says MY DAD'S GONNA KILL US,

Lenny says YOU NEVER TOLD HIM?

Tracey says NO, OF COURSE NOT.
HE MUST NEVER KNOW.

Dead worried, Lenny says TOO RIGHT.

Tracey says WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

Lenny says YOU'LL HAVE TO... GET RID OF
IT.

Tracey says GET RID OF IT?
HOW?

Lenny says YOU KNOW, YOU FIND A CLINIC.

Tracey says WHERE?

Lenny says I DON'T KNOW, I'LL...
I'LL GET THE CASH TO PAY FOR IT.
DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT.

Tracey says WELL, I-I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
BE PLEASED.

Lenny says PLEASED?
YOUR OLD MAN'S GONNA BEAT THE
LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME IF
HE FINDS OUT.
AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BE
PLEASED.

Tracey leaves crying.

Lenny says WHY DO GIRLS ALWAYS HAVE TO
CRY?!

(chickens clucking)
Merton and Steve visit a house.

Merton says RESTORING CONFIDENCE IN THE
POLICE, THAT'S WHAT COMMUNITY
LIAISON'S ALL ABOUT, CRANE.
SOMETIMES IT MEANS TURNING THE
OTHER CHEEK.

Steve says I'LL REMIND YOU OF THAT,
SARGE, WHEN DON DIBLEY TAKES A
POKE AT YOU.

(knocking)

Don says OH, BROUGHT THE CHEQUE, HAVE
YOU, MERTON?

Merton says COMPENSATION'S NOT MY
DEPARTMENT, DON.

Don says THEN YOU CAN GET LOST.

Tracey says DAD, YOU FORGOT YOUR SNAP!

Don says YOU COME BACK WHEN YOU'VE GOT
A TRIAL DATE, MERTON!
I WANT TO SEE THAT COPPER OF
YOURS IN THE DOCK.

Tracey looks at Steve and bites her lip. He smiles back.

Merton says DON, A NUMBER OF WITNESSES
SAY YOUR LAD RAN OUT INTO THE
ROAD, SO MAYBE...

(engine backfiring)
Don leaves in his tractor.

Tracey says SORRY ABOUT ME DAD.
HE'S A BIT UPSET.

Steve says IT'S ONLY NATURAL.

Tracey says AND HE HATES COPPERS.
BUT I DON'T, I'VE SEEN YOU ON
YOUR BIKE.
I LOVE BIKES!

Steve says WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Tracey says TRACEY.

Steve says I'M PC STEVE CRANE.

Tracey says I KNOW, YOU CAME TO OUR
SCHOOL LAST YEAR, TO TEST US ON
US BIKES.

Steve says OH YEAH, THE CYCLING
PROFICIENCY TEST.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I REMEMBER YOU
NOW.

Tracey says DO YOU?

Steve says THEY TEACH US TO BE OBSERVANT
IN THE POLICE.
RULE ONE, NEVER FORGET A PRETTY
FACE.
THE THING IS, TRACEY, WE ARE
REALLY SORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
TO YOUR BROTHER.
AND WE WANT YOUR FAMILY TO KNOW
THAT.
MAYBE YOU COULD PASS THAT ON
TO YOUR MUM, EH?

Tracey says OH, I WILL, HE'S DAFT, OUR
PAUL.
IT'S PROBABLY ALL HIS FAULT.
NEARLY GOT RUN OVER BEFORE.

Steve says DID HE?
YOU TELL YOUR MUM WHAT I SAID.

Steve leaves.

Tracey smiles and says HEY TOMMY, I THINK I'M IN
LOVE!

She plays with her brother.

A song plays YOU BETTER NOT TELL ON ME
I'M TELLING YOU,
LITTLE CHILDREN

At the hospital, Paul reads in bed.

Phil says HEY, HOW YOU FEELING?

Paul says BORED.
IT'S A YEAR OUT OF DATE.

Phil says YOU ALLOWED TOFFEES, THEN?

Paul says YEAH!
OH, THESE ARE GREAT.
I ALWAYS NICK THIS SORT IF I GET
THE CHANCE.

Phil says YOU DO MUCH NICKING, DO YOU?

Paul says SWEETS AND STUFF.
EVERYONE DOES, DON'T THEY?

Phil chuckles and says SO, EH, DOES IT HURT MUCH,
THEN?

Paul says A BIT.

Phil says GUESS YOU'RE OFF SCHOOL
THOUGH, EH?

(giggling)
Paul says THAT'S ME MUM AND DAD.

Phil says OH, RIGHT, WELL...

Don says FOUND YOURSELF A MATE?

Paul says HE GAVE ME THESE!

Don says WAIT A MINUTE.

Phil says I WAS JUST OFF.

Don says YOU'RE THE RUDDY COPPER,
AREN'T YOU?

Phil says I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THE LAD WAS ALL RIGHT, THAT'S
ALL.

Don says YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T KNOCK
YOUR TEETH DOWN YOUR THROAT.

Glad says DON...

Phil says JUST REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE,
DON.

Don says WELL, YOU LOT HAD BETTER DO
THE RIGHT THING, OR I'LL BE
COMING FOR YOU MYSELF.

Tracey sets a fancy table.

Mrs. Kellett says HAVEN'T YOU FINISHED YET?

Tracey says OH I'M SORRY, MRS. KELLETT.
I CAN NEVER REMEMBER WHAT GOES
WHERE.

Mrs. Kellett says YOU HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION
TRACEY, YOU'RE AWAY WITH THE
FAIRIES HALF THE TIME.
I'LL FINISH THIS.
CONSTABLE CRANE'S OUTSIDE.
HE WANTS A WORD WITH YOU.

Tracey says WITH ME?!

Mrs. Kellett says SOMETHING ABOUT THE ACCIDENT
I EXPECT.

Tracey says GOOD MORNING, CONSTABLE.

Steve says THAT'S A BIT FORMAL.
I KNOW YOUR DAD DOESN'T LIKE ME.
BUT I WAS HOPING YOU AND I
COULD BE MATES.

Tracey says UP TO YOU.

Steve says I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING YOU SAID
YESTERDAY.

Tracey says YOU GONNA TAKE ME FOR A RIDE,
THEN?

Steve says NOT WHEN I'M ON DUTY.

Tracey says LATER ON, THEN?

Steve says YOU SAID YOUR BROTHER NEARLY
GOT RUN OVER ONCE BEFORE.

Tracey says YEAH, BUT WHY ARE WE TALKING
ABOUT HIM, I WANT TO KNOW ALL
ABOUT YOU.

Steve says WHEN AND WHERE DID THIS
HAPPEN, TRACEY?

Tracey says I DUNNO, HE'S ALWAYS IN
TROUBLE.
SO HAVE YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND,
THEN?

Steve says YOU'RE A CHEEKY MONKEY, DO
YOU KNOW THAT?
COME ON, TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR
BROTHER.

David says 'COURSE, THAT TIME,
WELL, I THOUGHT WE WE CAUGHT
ABOUT A DOZEN.
MR. GREENGRASS, HE, UH, WELL HE
CHARGED ABOUT A SHILLING EACH.

Lenny says I WISH YOU'D SHUT UP ABOUT
YOUR RUDDY MOLES, I'VE GOT FAR
MORE SERIOUS THINGS TO WORRY
ABOUT.

David says LIKE WHAT?

Lenny says WELL, IF YOU MUST KNOW, I'VE
GOT A GIRL IN TROUBLE.

David says WHAT, WITH THE POLICE?

Lenny says NO, YOU DAFT BARMCAKE!
"IN TROUBLE," YOU KNOW.

David says OH, RIGHT.

Lenny says WHAT I NEED IS MONEY AND
QUICK, OR HER OLD MAN'S GONNA
SKIN ME ALIVE.
YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY SURE-FIRE
MONEY-MAKING SCHEMES, HAVE YOU?

David says UH...

Lenny says THAT IS A DAFT QUESTION.

Liz says HELLO, TRACEY.
I CALLED IN TO SEE PAUL THIS
MORNING.
HE'S SURPRISINGLY CHEERFUL.

Tracey says ME MUM'S GOING SPARE.
SHE'LL HAVE TO HAVE TIME OFF
TO NURSE HIM.

Liz says HOW ABOUT YOU?
HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO LENNY YET?

Tracey says HE WANTS ME TO GET RID OF IT.

Liz says TO HAVE A TERMINATION?
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

Tracey says I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF IT
UNTIL HE SAID, BUT HE'S GOT A
POINT, AND MY DAD NEED NEVER
KNOW.

Liz says TRACEY, YOU CAN'T HAVE AN
ABORTION TO STOP YOUR DAD FROM
BEING ANGRY WITH YOU.
IT'S A VERY SERIOUS MATTER.

Tracey says I NEVER SAID I WANTED ONE.
IT'S JUST LENNY.

Liz says DO YOU WANT ME TO SPEAK TO
LENNY?

Tracey says WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO?
HE'S JUST SCARED OF ME DAD.
EVERYONE IS.

Liz says HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THE
ONE THING YOUR FATHER MIGHT FIND
ACCEPTABLE IS IF YOU AND LENNY
SETTLE DOWN AND BRING UP THE
BABY TOGETHER?

Tracey says YOU MEAN MARRY LENNY?

Liz says WELL, IT'S A WAY OUT OF THIS.

Tracey says BUT I DON'T LOVE HIM.

Liz says ROMANCE CAN BE OVERRATED.

Tracey says I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE
ELSE.

Liz says WHO?

Tracey says I CAN'T SAY.

Liz says TRACEY, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER,
WE NEED TO SORT SOMETHING OUT
HERE.
WHAT ABOUT THIS OTHER LAD?
WOULD YOU MARRY HIM?

Tracey says YEAH, LIKE A SHOT!

Liz says AND DOES HE FEEL THE
SAME WAY ABOUT YOU?

Tracey says I THINK HE REALLY LIKES ME.

Liz says DOES HE HAVE A NAME?

Tracey says STEVE CRANE.

Liz says NOT PC CRANE?

Smiling, Tracey says IMAGINE ME DAD'S FACE IF I
TELL HIM I'M MARRYING A COPPER!

Phil has a drink at the pub.

Steve says EVENING.
I'LL GET THAT.

Oscar says ANY NEWS?

Phil says WELL, TRAFFIC HAVE FINISHED
TAKING STATEMENTS, SO THEY'LL
LET ME KNOW.

Oscar says WELL, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
PURE AND SIMPLE.

Phil says I WISH GINA WAS HERE.

Steve says WHEN'S SHE GETTING BACK?

Phil says I DON'T KNOW.
SHE'S STAYING ON IN RHYL AN
EXTRA WEEK.
RECKONS THE SEA AIR IS DOING HER
THE WORLD OF GOOD.

Oscar says YEAH, WELL I'M SURE IT IS.

Phil says AND THEN IT'S HER AUNTIE'S
BIRTHDAY OVER IN LIVERPOOL.
SO WHO KNOWS WHEN I'LL SEE HER
AGAIN.

Oscar says I'LL ASK HER TO PHONE YOU.

Phil says NO, NO... NO, DON'T DO THAT,
OSCAR.
WELL, SHE'S GOT ENOUGH ON HER
PLATE, HASN'T SHE?
I DON'T WANT HER WORRYING ABOUT
ME.

(rowdy laughter)
Don and his friends walk in.

Oscar says I HOPE YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR
TROUBLE, DIBLEY.

Don says YOU REFUSING TO SERVE US,
BLAKETON?

Oscar says NO, I'M JUST SAYING I DON'T
WANT ANY TROUBLE IN HERE.

Don says YOU'LL SERVE SOME MANIAC WHO
DRIVES AROUND RUNNING KIDS OVER,
BUT NOT ME, HUH?

Phil says LOOK, I'LL BUY YOU A DRINK.
AND YOUR MATES.

Don says OH, THE BOY GETS TOFFEES,
I GET A PINT.
YOU MUST THINK WE'RE REALLY
CHEAP.

Phil says NO, I'M JUST TRYING TO
APOLOGIZE.
TO MAKE AMENDS.

Don says OH, YOU'LL MAKE AMENDS,
COPPER, BUT IT'LL COST YOU MORE
THAN A PINT.
I'M VERY PARTICULAR WHO I DRINK
WITH.
THREE PINTS.

At Liz's office, Jenny says I'M JUST OFF.

Liz says DO YOU AND DENNIS SPEND MUCH
TIME WITH STEVE CRANE?

Jenny says NOT REALLY.
WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT HE WAS
YOUR TYPE.

Liz says DON'T BE SILLY, HE ISN'T.

Jenny says BEING MARRIED TO A POLICEMAN
HAS IT'S DRAWBACKS, BELIEVE ME.

Liz says YOU'RE NOT REGRETTING IT
ALREADY, ARE YOU?

Jenny says NO, OF COURSE NOT.
SO WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN
STEVE?

Liz says HIS NAME CAME UP, I WAS JUST
WONDERING ABOUT THE SORT OF LIFE
HE LEADS.
GIRLFRIENDS, THAT SORT OF THING.

Jenny says OH...

Liz says OH, NEVER MIND.

Jenny says WELL, I CAN ASK HIM FOR
DINNER IF YOU LIKE?

Playing darts, Liz says NO, FORGET IT, OKAY?

Don says YES, GET IT IN!
HOW ABOUT IT, EH?

Oscar says LOOK AT THE STATE OF HIM.
HIS LAD'S IN HOSPITAL AND HE'S
ON THE BEER.

David and Lenny walk into the pub.

Bernie says WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
I'VE HAD TO TURN AWAY TAXI
BOOKINGS.

David says I'VE BEEN UP AT THE HALL.
DOING A JOB FOR HIS LORDSHIP.
IT'S ME AND, UH, ME AND LENNY.
HE'S ME NEW MATE.

Oscar says ALL RIGHT.

David says HE'S INVITED ME HERE FOR A
DRINK, ACTUALLY.

Oscar says AND LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE
BUYING?

David says WELL, YEAH.

Phil says WHAT'S SHE GONNA THINK, EH?

Steve says SHE'LL THINK IT WAS AN
ACCIDENT, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

Phil says YOU KNOW, I'VE HAD A THING
ABOUT GINA SINCE, WELL, I CAN'T
REMEMBER WHEN.
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A BIT TOUCH
AND GO, MIND.
BUT NOW THIS.
I COULD LOSE MY JOB.

Steve says MERTON IS NOT GOING TO LET
THAT HAPPEN.

Phil says WELL, I CAN'T GET MARRIED
WITHOUT A JOB.

Steve says IT'S NOT GONNA COME TO
THAT.

Lenny says HE DOESN'T KNOW YET, THAT'S
SOMETHING AT LEAST.

David says DOESN'T KNOW WHAT?

Lenny says THAT'S TRACEY'S DAD!

David says OH, RIGHT!

Alf says HEY, JUST HAD A CALL FROM
DIVISION.
I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW,
TRAFFIC HAVE COMPLETELY
EXONERATED YOU.

Phil sighs with relief and says THANKS, ALF!

Steve says THAT IS GREAT NEWS, MATE!

Phil says I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

Don says NEITHER CAN I.
THEY'VE LET YOU OFF, HAVEN'T
THEY?

Alf says DON, THERE'S BEEN A FULL
INQUIRY.

Don says WHITEWASH, MORE LIKE IT.
YOU LOT, YOU'RE JUST SCUM.
YOU MAKE ME SICK, EVERY LAST ONE
OF YOU.
AND YOU, YOU'RE MINE, COPPER.

(crashing)
Don starts a fight.

Oscar says ALL RIGHT, DIBLEY,
THAT'S ENOUGH.

(rock and roll music playing)

Hiding behind the counter, Lenny says NOW YOU CAN SEE WHY I DON'T
WANNA GET ON THE WRONG SIDE OF
DON!

Now, Don sits in a cell.

Oscar says GET OUT OF HERE NOW!

Alf says SLEEP WELL, DID YOU?

Don says YOU ARE JOKING, AREN'T YOU?

Merton says ALL RIGHT, DIBLEY, I'M GIVING
YOU A CHOICE.
I'M NOT INSENSITIVE TO YOUR
FEELINGS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
WITH YOUR SON.
IT WAS A TRAGIC ACCIDENT.
BUT IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.

Don says SO YOU SAY.

Merton says YES, I DO SAY!
AS DO ALL THE WITNESSES THAT SAW
IT.
NOW HERE'S YOUR CHOICE.
YOU ACCEPT THAT NOW AND I'LL LET
YOU OFF WITH A CAUTION.
YOU DON'T ACCEPT IT, THEN I'LL
CHARGE YOU WITH MALICIOUS DAMAGE
AND BREACH OF THE PEACE, AND
YOU'LL BE UP IN FRONT OF THE
MAGISTRATE.

Phil says LOOK, UH, I'M REALLY SORRY
ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENED.
AND I JUST WANT ALL THIS TO BE
OVER.

Phil stretches his hand to shake Don's hand. Don doesn't take it and scoffs.

Merton says WHAT'S IT TO BE?

Don sighs and says YOU WIN, MERTON.
BUT THEN YOUR LOT ALWAYS DO,
DON'T YOU?

Don leaves.

At her house, Glad prepares breakfast.

Bobby says ZOOM!

Glad says OH, JUST EAT IT, BOBBY.
DON'T THROW IT.
TRACEY?
TRACEY?!
(coughing)
WHAT THE...

Tracey says I FELT POORLY IN THE NIGHT.
I MUST HAVE EATEN SOMETHING.

Glad says OH, THAT'S ALL I NEED.

Don arrives.

Tracey says DON'T TELL DAD.
MUM, PLEASE!

Don says OUT OF IT, COME ON.

Don sits at the table.

Glad says THEY LET YOU OUT, THEN?

Don says YEAH, OBVIOUSLY.

Glad says SHE'S PREGNANT.

Sobbing, Tracey says MUM!

Don says WELL, WHOEVER THE FATHER IS,
SHE BETTER MARRY HIM.
ONE LESS MOUTH FOR ME TO FEED.

Glad says SO, WHO IS THE FATHER THEN?

Tracey says WELL, WHAT IF HE WON'T MARRY
ME?

Don says HE WILL, ONCE I'VE HAD A WORD
WITH HIM.

Glad says COME ON, WHO IS IT?

Tracey says HIS NAME IS...
STEVE.
STEVE CRANE.

Glad says THAT YOUNG COPPER?!

Don coughs.
(spluttering)

Next, Lenny jumps out of a window.

David says WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Lenny says NOTHING!
JUST HAVING A LOOK ROUND.

David says OH.
DID MRS. KELLETT SAY YOU COULD?

Lenny says YEAH.
IN FACT, SHE ASKED ME TO CHECK
THERE WERE NO MOLES IN THERE.

David chuckles and says YOU DON'T GET MOLES IN
HOUSES.

Lenny says TRUTH IS, I WAS JUST SKIVING
A BIT.
YOU WOULDN'T GRASS ON A MATE,
WOULD YOU?

David says NO, OF COURSE NOT.

Lenny says GOOD MAN.
SO HOW YOU GETTING ON WITH THE
MOLES?

David says I'VE GOT THIS IDEA...

Lenny says GREAT, YOU START, I'LL BE
RIGHT BACK!

At Merton's office, Don says 16 YEARS OLD, SHE IS!
UP THE DUFF.
YOU CHECK WITH DR. MERRICK.

Merton says I STILL DON'T SEE...

Don says TELL HIM, TRACEY!

Tracey says DAD, PLEASE!

Don says IF SHE DON'T WANT TO SAY IT,
I WILL-- STEVE CRANE, HE'S ONE
OF YOURS, ISN'T HE?

Merton says YES.

Don says WELL, IT WAS HIM THAT DONE
IT, GOT HER PREGNANT.
16, SHE IS!

Merton says IS THIS TRUE?

Sobbing, Tracey nods.

Don says I DON'T KNOW IF HE
FORCED HER, SHE WON'T SAY.
(sobbing)
AS YOU CAN SEE, SHE'S TOO UPSET!

Merton says DON, THIS IS A VERY SERIOUS
ACCUSATION.

Don says OH, YEAH, IT IS!
I KNOW I'VE GOT A TEMPER, GETS
ME IN TROUBLE OFTEN ENOUGH.
BUT IF MY DAUGHTER'S BEEN RAPED
BY A COPPER, THERE'S NO WAY I'M
GONNA LET YOU COVER IT UP!
I'LL GET A PROPER LAWYER, GO TO
THE PAPERS, WHATEVER IT TAKES!
TRACEY, COME HERE!

(door slamming)

A song plays THERE I WAS,
DIGGING THIS HOLE
HOLE IN THE GROUND,
SO BIG AND SORT OF ROUND
IT WAS IN THERE WAS I,
DIGGING IT DEEP
IT WAS FLAT AT THE BOTTOM
AND THE SIDES WERE STEEP
WHEN A LONG COMES...

David digs a trench.

Lenny says WHAT'S ALL THIS?!
YOU'VE TAKEN UP HALF THE LAWN!

David says YEAH, WELL THIS IS HOW I'M
GONNA TRAP THEM.
YOU SEE, WHAT YOU DO IS YOU JOIN
TOGETHER ALL THEIR BURROWS AND
THEN THEY CAN'T ESCAPE.

Lenny says IS THIS WHAT GREENGRASS DID?

David says NO, NO, HE USED TO JUST
POISON THEM.
BUT I CAN'T DO THAT TO 'EM,
CAN I?
I MEAN, POOR LITTLE MITES.

Lenny says THEY'RE VERMIN!

The song continues YOU CAN'T PUT A HOLE
WHERE A HOLE DON'T BELONG

Lenny says OH NO, YOU JUST LET ME DO THE
TALKING, EH?

David says YEAH, WELL I'M THE ONE THAT...

Lenny says JUST SHUT IT!

Lord Ashfordly says WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!

Lenny says I KNOW IT LOOKS A MESS JUST
AT THE MINUTE, YOUR LORDSHIP.
BUT AERATING THEIR BURROWS IS
THE ONE PROVEN METHOD OF GETTING
RID OF MOLES PERMANENTLY.

Lord Ashfordly says AERATING THEIR BURROWS?

Lenny says IT'S AN OLD TRICK, BUT
COUNTRYMEN LIKE OLD GREENGRASS,
THEY KNEW A THING OR TWO.
AERATE THE BURROWS, THEN PUT
DOWN THE POISON.

David says APART FROM WE'RE NOT GONNA
USE...

Lord Ashfordly says WELL, THIS HAD BETTER WORK.
THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY.

Lenny says YOU KNOW, YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'VE
GOT A MATE LIKE ME.
YOU OWE ME ONE.

David says WE'RE NOT POISONING THEM!

Back at the station, Merton says BASICALLY DON DIBLEY IS
SUGGESTING THAT EITHER BY FORCE
OR WITH HER CONSENT, THAT YOU
HAVE IMPREGNATED HIS 16-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER.

Shocked, Steve says WHAT?!
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

Merton says I'M SURE IT IS, BUT HE'S MADE
A FORMAL COMPLAINT.

Steve says WHAT'S HE DOING?
STARTING SOME KIND OF VENDETTA
AGAINST US?

Merton says THERE IS THAT POSSIBILITY.

Steve says I'M GOING TO TALK TO HER.

Merton says NO, YOU'LL STAY WELL AWAY.

Steve says I'M BEING ACCUSED OF
SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE, SARGE.

Merton says THIS IS A VERY DELICATE
SITUATION, I DON'T WANT YOU
COMPROMISING YOURSELF ANY
FURTHER.

Steve says I'D LIKE HIM TO HAVE A GO AT
ME LIKE HE DID PHIL.
THEN HE'D BE SORRY.

Merton says CRANE, CAN I REMIND YOU THAT
YOU'RE A POLICE OFFICER.

Steve says I KNOW, BUT...

Merton says NO BUTS!
IF A FALSE ACCUSATION IS
LEVELED AGAINST YOU, THEN YOUR
BEHAVIOUR MUST BE AND MUST
CONTINUE TO BE ABOVE REPROACH.
IT'S YOUR BEST PROTECTION.
TRUST ME.

Liz says RAPE?
MY GOODNESS.

Merton says AS A RESULT OF WHICH HE
RECKONS SHE'S PREGNANT.
HE SAYS YOU CAN CONFIRM THIS.

Liz says I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO MR.
DIBLEY PERSONALLY ABOUT HIS
DAUGHTER.

Merton says AH, YOU'RE THE LUCKY ONE.

Liz says DENNIS, THERE'S THE HUGE
ISSUE OF PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY
HERE.

Merton says LIZ, ONE OF MY OFFICERS IS
BEING ACCUSED OF A VERY SERIOUS
CRIME.

Liz says AND I DON'T THINK FOR ONE
SECOND THAT STEVE CRANE IS
GUILTY OF THIS.

Merton says NO, NOR DO I, BUT IF IT COMES
TO HIS WORD AGAINST HERS THEN MY
PROBLEM WILL BE PROVING IT.

Liz says SHE'S A VERY VULNERABLE KID,
YOU KNOW.
SHE'S NOT WHAT YOU'D CALL
EMOTIONALLY MATURE FOR HER AGE.

Merton says SO YOU THINK IT'S HER THAT'S
LIED TO HER FATHER ABOUT STEVE?

Liz says I DON'T DOUBT IT FOR A
SECOND.

Merton says IS SHE PREGNANT?

Liz says YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN A VERY
DIFFICULT POSITION.

Merton says OH, COME ON, LIZ.

Liz says LOOK, LEAVE IT WITH ME AND
I'LL TRY AND TALK SOME SENSE
INTO HER, OKAY?
(sighing)

A song plays GUILTY,
NOT GUILTY
GUILTY,
NOT GUILTY
GUILTY,
NOT GUILTY
GUILTY

A young male reporter approaches Steve.

The Reporter says YOU STEVE CRANE?

Steve says YEAH.

A photographer takes a picture of Steve.

The Reporter says NICE BIG SMILE, CONSTABLE.

Steve says WHAT THE HECK'S GOING ON?

The Reporter says ASHFORDLY GAZETTE.
CARE TO COMMENT ON THE
ACCUSATION?

Steve says WHAT ACCUSATION?

The Reporter says THAT YOU ARE THE
POLICE OFFICER WHO BRUTALLY
RAPED A 16-YEAR-OLD GIRL?

Steve says NOW THAT'S A LIE.

The Reporter says I'LL PUT "NO COMMENT,"
SHALL I?

The song continues IT'S SERIOUS,
AND I'M READY, TEDDY

David and Lenny look into a shop window.

David says I'M NOT TOO SURE ABOUT THIS.

Lenny says THEY'VE DONE BUSINESS WITH
YOU BEFORE.

David says NOT ME!
MR. VERNON.

Lenny takes a delicate silver box that he was carrying under his jacket.

Lenny says IT'S A FAMILY TREASURE.
BELONGED TO MY GRANDDAD.
I JUST WANT TO GET A GOOD PRICE
FOR IT!

David says ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T STEAL
THIS?

Lenny says STEAL IT, ME?!
YOU THINK I'M A THIEF?

David says WELL, I...

Lenny says AND I THOUGHT WE WERE MATES.

David says WE ARE!

Lenny says LET'S JUST FORGET IT THEN.

David says NO, HANG ON!
OH, I'M SORRY.

Lenny says BIT LATE FOR SORRY.

David says LOOK, I'LL DO IT.

Lenny says NO, NOT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU
THINK OF ME.

David says PLEASE, WE ARE MATES.
AND I DO WANT TO HELP YOU.

Lenny says I DON'T KNOW.

David says COME ON.

(bell ringing)
Mr. Jones polishes an antique kettle. He is in his early sixties, clean-shaven with white hair. He wears glasses, a white shirt, a light vest and a brown tie.

Mr. Jones says OH NO, WHAT'S HE UP TO NOW
THEN, EH?
THE OLD ROGUE?

David says OH, MR. VERNON, OH, HE'S, IN,
UH, SCUNTHORPE.

Mr. Jones says WHAT'S THIS THEN?
IS THIS YOURS OR VERNON'S?

David says OH, IT'S HIS.

Lenny says HIS GRANDMOTHER'S.

Mr. Jones says OH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A
RICH GRANNY, DAVID.

Mr. Jones uses an monocular magnifying glass to check the piece.

David says OH, UH...

Lenny says IT WAS HER ONE FAMILY
TREASURE.
SHE LEFT IT TO DAVID IN HER
WILL.

Mr. Jones says YES, I SEEM TO GET QUITE A
FEW PEOPLE IN HERE WITH GRANNIES
LIKE THAT.

Lenny says SO WHAT'S IT WORTH?

Mr. Jones says WELL...
I'M NOT SURE.
ANTIQUE JEWELLERY BOXES CAN
FETCH A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT.

Lenny says WHAT WILL YOU GIVE-- DAVID?

Mr. Jones says I'LL HAVE TO RING ROUND A FEW
DEALERS, GET YOU A PROPER PRICE.

Lenny says HOW LONG WILL THAT TAKE?

Mr. Jones says NOT LONG, YOU'RE NOT IN ANY
RUSH, ARE YOU, DAVID?
POP BACK TOMORROW THEN, EH?

Then, Tracey polishes silverware.

Liz says YOU'VE MADE A VERY
SERIOUS ACCUSATION, TRACEY.

Tracey says I NEVER SAID HE MADE ME.
JUST MY DAD ASSUMING THAT.

Liz says I THOUGHT YOU LIKED STEVE.

Tracey says I DO.

Liz says HE'S IN REAL TROUBLE BECAUSE
OF YOU.

Tracey says IT'S MY DAD'S FAULT, HE JUST
HATES ALL COPPERS.

Liz says YOU'VE GOT TO TELL THE TRUTH!
NOW WE BOTH KNOW STEVE HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR
PREGNANCY, AND NOW HE'S BEEN
ACCUSED OF A TERRIBLE CRIME.
HIS CAREER COULD BE IN RUINS!

Tracey says I NEVER MEANT TO GET HIM INTO
TROUBLE.

Liz says WELL, WHY DID YOU TELL YOUR
DAD IT WAS STEVE, THEN?

Tracey says BECAUSE MY DAD SAID I HAD TO
MARRY THE FATHER!

Liz says LENNY'S THE FATHER.

Tracey says I CAN'T MARRY LENNY!
Sobbing, she continues I'M IN LOVE WITH STEVE!

Liz says NOW I KNOW THIS IS HARD, BUT
IF YOU LOVE STEVE, YOU'VE GOT TO
DO THE RIGHT THING AND TELL THE
TRUTH.

Tracey says I NEVER MEANT TO LIE!

Liz says I KNOW YOU DIDN'T.

Tracey says I DON'T WANT TO HURT STEVE.

Liz says THEN WE'RE GONNA GO AND SEE
SERGEANT MERTON AND YOUR MUM AND
DAD, AND WE'RE GONNA TELL THEM
THE TRUTH.
AREN'T WE?

Phil says ALF?

Alf says HAVE YOU READ THIS?

A newspaper headline reads "Daughter Raped by Local Policeman Alleges Father."

Phil sighs and says WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
DIBLEY WANTS LOCKING UP.

Alf says WELL THE TROUBLE IS, YOU
SLING ENOUGH MUD, SOME OF IT
STICKS.

Phil says YEAH, BUT I'M THE ONE WHO
ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING, NOT
STEVE.
UM...

Steve walks in.

Phil says I'M SO SORRY, MATE.

Phil hands Steve the newspaper.

Steve says AT LEAST THEY TOOK A DECENT
PHOTO.

(telephone ringing)

Alf says ASHFORDLY POLICE STATION.

Steve says EH, YOU'VE GOT TO STOP
BLAMING YOURSELF FOR ALL THIS,
YOU KNOW.
I COULD HAVE JUST AS EASILY BEEN
DRIVING THAT CAR AS YOU.
WE BOTH WEAR THE UNIFORM, WE'RE
BOTH IN THE FIRING LINE, EH?

On the phone, Alf says WELL, I'D SAY IN ABOUT
TEN MINUTES.

Tracey says I NEVER SAID IT WAS RAPE, BUT
AS SOON AS I MENTIONED STEVE, ME
DAD JUST JUMPED TO THAT
CONCLUSION.

Glad says THAT'S DON ALL OVER.
THROW A PUNCH FIRST, ASK
QUESTIONS LATER.

Merton says SO LET'S BE QUITE CLEAR.
PC CRANE HAS NEVER SEXUALLY
ASSAULTED YOU IN ANY WAY?

Tracey says NO, AND I'M SORRY I LIED TO
YOU, AND TO YOU, DR. MERRICK.

Liz says TO ME?

Tracey says ABOUT ME AND STEVE.
I KNEW I HAD TO KEEP IT A SECRET
ABOUT US.

Liz says KEEP WHAT A SECRET?

Tracey says WELL, THAT'S WHY I SAID IT
WAS LENNY.

Glad says LENNY, WHAT'S HE GOT
TO DO WITH IT?

Liz says YOU TOLD ME THAT LENNY
WAS YOUR BABY'S FATHER.

Glad says THAT LITTLE RUNT?!

Tracey says WELL I ONLY SAID THAT TO
PROTECT STEVE!

Merton says HANG ON A MINUTE.
YOU ONLY MET PC CRANE THE DAY
AFTER YOUR BROTHER'S ACCIDENT.

Tracey says NO, HE CAME TO OUR SCHOOL
LAST YEAR TO DO THE CYCLING
TEST.
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW HE WAS THE
ONE.

Merton says HOW OLD WERE YOU, 15?

Tracey says LOOK, HE'S THE REAL FATHER OF
MY BABY.
HE'S THE ONE I WANT TO MARRY.
I THINK WE COULD BE REALLY
HAPPY.

Alf walks into Mr. Jones's shop.

Alf says WELL YOU'VE SURPRISED ME, MR.
JONES.
AS FAR AS WE WERE AWARE, NO ONE
HAD BEEN BURGLED THIS WEEK.

Mr. Jones says HOW ABOUT LORD ASHFORDLY?

Alf says ASHFORDLY?

Mr. Jones says WELL MAYBE HE HASN'T MISSED
IT YET.
BUT THIS IS DEFINITELY HIS
FAMILY CREST HERE.
A VALUABLE BOX TOO, BEAUTIFUL
WORK.
WORTH AT LEAST 200 POUNDS.

Alf says WELL, WELL, WELL.
UM, WHO BROUGHT IT IN?

David says AH, THAT'S THE SAD PART.
VERNON SCRIPPS' LAD.

Alf says DAVID STOCKWELL?

Mr. Jones says YES, HIM AND ANOTHER LAD.
I'D SAY SOMEONE'S LEADING POOR
DAVID BY THE NOSE.

Alf says WELL, I'LL TAKE THIS BACK TO
LORD ASHFORDLY, AND I'LL LOOK
INTO IT.

Mr. Jones says THANKS.

Liz says SHE TOLD ME THIS COUSIN OF
HERS WAS THE FATHER.

Merton says PRESUMABLY A BLOOD TEST WOULD
ESTABLISH THE PATERNITY ONCE AND
FOR ALL.

Liz says ONCE THE BABY'S BORN, YES.
BUT IT'S OBVIOUS SHE'S CREATED
SOME SORT OF ELABORATE FANTASY
AROUND STEVE.

Jenny says I'VE BROUGHT YOU SOME TEA.
AND STEVE'S HERE.

Merton says CRANE.

Steve says DID YOU FINALLY GET THE TRUTH
OUT OF HER THEN?

Merton says TRACEY RECKONS YOU MET AT HER
SCHOOL LAST YEAR, WHEN YOU WENT
TO DO THEIR CYCLE PROFICIENCY
TEST.

Steve says I HAD ABOUT THIRTY KIDS TAKE
THAT TEST.
I DON'T ACTUALLY REMEMBER HER,
BUT...
WHAT ON EARTH IS SHE SAYING NOW?

Liz says THAT YOU AND SHE HAVE BEEN
INVOLVED SINCE THEN AND IT'S
YOUR BABY.

Steve says THAT'S JUST TOTAL NONSENSE.

Jenny says WELL OF COURSE IT IS.

Merton says LOOK, I'M SORRY CRANE, BUT
UNTIL THIS MATTER IS RESOLVED,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO SUSPEND YOU
FROM DUTY TEMPORARILY.

Steve says SUSPEND ME?!

Merton says I'M AFRAID I HAVE NO CHOICE.

Next, holding the silver box, Lord Ashfordly says GOOD GRACIOUS, I DIDN'T KNOW
IT WAS EVEN MISSING!
IT WAS MY MOTHER'S, A WEDDING
PRESENT.

Alf says WHERE WAS IT KEPT?

Lord Ashfordly says OH, JUST OVER THERE ON THAT
TABLE AT THE BACK, WHICH IS
PROBABLY WHY IT WASN'T MISSED.
MRS. KELLETT'S TAKEN ON A NEW
MAID, I DON'T THINK HER DUSTING
IS UP TO MUCH.

Alf says A NEW MAID?

Lord Ashfordly says ONE OF THE DIBLEYS' NUMEROUS
OFFSPRING.
TRACEY, I THINK.

Tracey hangs up clothes.

Lenny says TRACEY!

Tracey says GO AWAY.

Lenny says I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU,
I'M GETTING THE MONEY.

Tracey says WHAT MONEY?

Lenny says I SAID I WOULD, SO YOU COULD
GET RID OF IT.

Tracey says I HATE YOUR GUTS, LENNY
DIBLEY.

Lenny says WHAT, WHY?!

Tracey says I'M GONNA HAVE MY BABY, I'M
NOT HAVING AN ABORTION, IT'S
HORRIBLE!

Lenny says WHAT ABOUT YOUR DAD?

Tracey says HE KNOWS.

Lenny says HE KNOWS?!
HE'S GONNA KILL ME!

Tracey says I HOPE HE DOES!
YOU'VE NEARLY RUINED EVERYTHING
FOR ME.

Lenny says ME?!
IT WAS YOUR IDEA WE...

Lenny spots Lord Ashfordly in the distance.

Lenny says OH NO.
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

Lenny runs away.

Lord Ashfordly says AH, TRACEY.
CONSTABLE VENTRESS WOULD LIKE TO
ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.

Angry, Lenny jumps into David's trench. David looks amazed.

Lenny yells YOU GRASS ME UP, YOU EVEN
THINK OF GRASSING ME UP, I'LL BE
AFTER YOU!
AND I'LL GET DON AND A COUPLE OF
HIS MATES.
YOU'LL BE MINCEMEAT.
UNDERSTAND?

Lord Ashfordly says WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
I'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A MESS.

Alf says UH, DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS,
DAVID?

Alf points to the silver box.

(children chattering)
Tracey plays with her brothers.

Tracey says STEVE?!

Steve says CAN WE HAVE A CHAT?
NOW I DON'T KNOW YOU AND YOU
DON'T KNOW ME.
THIS IS JUST SOME SCHOOLGIRL
CRUSH.
BUT IT'S GONNA RUIN MY CAREER.

Tracey says I'M NOT A SCHOOLGIRL.

Steve says BUT IT'S NOT MY BABY.

Tracey says BUT IT COULD BE!
I KNOW YOU LIKE ME!
THIS WAS MEANT TO BE, I KNOW IT
WAS, THAT'S WHY I GOT PREGNANT.

Steve says TRACEY, YOU DON'T SEEM TO
REALIZE HOW SERIOUS THIS IS FOR
ME.

Tracey says DON'T YOU WANT TO MARRY ME?

Steve says OF COURSE I DON'T!

Tracey says I'M TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.

Angry, Steve yells YOU'RE JUST A LYING, STUPID,
LITTLE GIRL!
NOW YOU'VE GOT TO TELL THE
TRUTH!

Sobbing, Tracey says YOU DON'T LOVE ME?

Steve yells NO, I DON'T, AND I'M GLAD
WE'VE GOT THAT STRAIGHT!

Tracey says NO ONE LOVES ME.
NO ONE WANTS ME, OR MY BABY!

She runs away.

Steve says TRACEY, COME HERE!
TRACEY!

David says THEN I SAW HIM CLIMBING OUT
OF A WINDOW.

Bernie says WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL SOMEONE?

David says I NEVER HAD ANY REAL MATES
BEFORE.

Bernie says YOU'VE GOT ME AND VERNON.
I SEE YOUR POINT.
WHAT DID ALF VENTRESS HAVE TO
SAY ABOUT IT?

David says WELL, HE'S GONE AFTER LENNY.
I'VE TOLD HIM EVERYTHING NOW.

Bernie says IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT, THEN.
ALF KNOWS YOU'RE NOT A BAD LAD.

David says LORD ASHFORDLY IS HOPPING
MAD.

Bernie says ABOUT THE THEFT?

David says NO, ABOUT HIS LAWN!

Liz says HE SAID HE HARDLY KNOWS
TRACEY.

Glad says YEAH, WELL, THEY ALL SAY THAT
DON'T THEY?
I WASN'T MUCH OLDER THAN HER
MYSELF WHEN I GOT WED.
DON WASN'T ALL THAT KEEN, BUT MY
OLD MAN SOON SORTED HIM OUT.

Liz says AND YOU SEE THAT AS A RECIPE
TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE?

Glad says WE'VE DONE ALL RIGHT.
NOT MARRIED YOURSELF, ARE YOU,
DOCTOR?

Liz says CAN I SPEAK TO TRACEY?

Glad says I THINK SHE'S GONE TO WORK.

Paul says SHE HASN'T, HE CAME ROUND
LAST NIGHT.

Glad says WHO?

Paul says HIM, THE COPPER.

Glad says TRACEY?!
GET DOWN HERE!

Paul says SHE'S NOT THERE, SHE WENT
LAST NIGHT.

Glad says WHAT?

Liz says WENT WHERE, PAUL?

Paul says I DUNNO, RECKON HER AND STEVE
WERE ELOPING.

Looking at the trenches, David says I HATE MOLE-CATCHING, I TRIED
TO TELL HIM THAT.

Bernie says WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?

David says WELL, I DIDN'T WANT TO POISON
THEM, SO I THOUGHT I'D JUST TRY
AND PERSUADE THEM TO MOVE OUT.

Bernie says WELL, I RECKON YOU'VE DONE
THAT, ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET STARTED THEN.
I'VE ONLY GOT THIS ON LOAN FOR
THE AFTERNOON.

David says OH, CAN I DRIVE?

Bernie approaches a crane.

Bernie says NO, DEFINITELY NOT.

Merton says WHAT WAS THE ONE THING I TOLD
YOU TO DO?
STAY AWAY FROM HER!

Steve says I KNOW, BUT SARGE...

Merton yells I'M FED UP WITH YOUR "BUTS."

Liz says SHE CERTAINLY HAS BEEN GONE
ALL NIGHT.

Steve says WELL, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER.

Liz says PRESUMABLY YOU SHATTERED HER
ILLUSIONS.

Steve says I MADE HER FACE THE TRUTH!

Liz says THEN THAT'S WHAT SHE'S
RUNNING AWAY FROM.
NOW, I'D SAY SHE'S FRIGHTENED
AND PRETTY DESPERATE.

Mrs. Kellett says SHE DIDN'T TURN UP FOR WORK
TODAY, BUT I DIDN'T THINK TOO
MUCH OF THAT SINCE SHE'S A
DIBLEY.

Lord Ashfordly says WELL, I'LL HAVE THE HOUSE AND
ALL THE OUTBUILDINGS CHECKED.

Merton says THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL.

Lord Ashfordly says YOU'RE REALLY WORRIED ABOUT
HER?

Merton says DR. MERRICK CERTAINLY IS,
YES.

Mrs. Kellett says SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN A SILLY
LASS, I WOULDN'T PUT ANYTHING
PAST HER.

Lord Ashfordly says WELL IF THERE'S GOING TO BE A
FULL-SCALE SEARCH, YOU'D BETTER
TAKE SOME OF MY PEOPLE.

Merton says THANK YOU, YOUR LORDSHIP.

Liz, Jenny, Lord Ashfordly and the police officers visit Don's house.

Don says WHAT THE RUDDY HECK'S GOING
ON HERE?!

Liz says WE'RE STARTING A SEARCH FOR
TRACEY.

Don says MY LAD SAID SHE'D GONE OFF
WITH YOU.

Steve says WELL, SHE HASN'T.

Liz says I'M QUITE CONCERNED ABOUT HER
MR. DIBLEY.

Phil says I'VE BEEN TO THE STATION,
SARGE.
NOBODY OF HER DESCRIPTION BOUGHT
A TICKET OR BOARDED THE TRAIN
LAST NIGHT OR THIS MORNING.

Merton says THERE'S NO SIGN OVER AT THE
HALL EITHER.

Holding a letter, Glad says I JUST FOUND THIS IN HER
ROOM.

Liz reads "DEAR STEVE, WHEN YOU READ
THIS, I WILL BE GONE.
I KNOW NOW THAT THE LIFE I
DREAMT OF IS NOT TO BE.
STUPID TO THINK THAT SOMEONE
NICE LIKE YOU COULD CARE ABOUT
THE LIKES OF ME.
DON'T BLAME YOURSELF FOR THIS.
ONE LESS MOUTH TO FEED, AT
LEAST MY DAD WILL BE PLEASED.
YOURS FOREVER, TRACEY."

Merton says ALL RIGHT, WE'LL DIVIDE UP
INTO GROUPS.
BELLAMY, GET ON TO DIVISION.
WE'LL NEED SOME SNIFFER DOGS.

Phil says SARGE.

Upset, Glad says ALL YOU'VE EVER DONE IS SHOUT
AT HER!
YOU'RE A BULLY AND YOU'RE A
BRUTE.

Glad hits Don.

Liz says GLAD!
GLADYS!
COME ON, THAT WON'T HELP ONE
LITTLE BIT.

(shouting indistinctly)

A song plays ALL I KNOW IS
THAT YOU ARE THE ONE
IF YOU WILL FOLLOW
IF YOU WILL FOLLOW ME

A team searches for Tracey in the woods.

Glad yells TRACEY!

The song continues IF YOU WILL FOLLOW ME

Steve says IF WE DON'T FIND HER BY
TONIGHT, THAT'S TWO NIGHTS IN
THE OPEN.

Merton says WELL, SHE'S YOUNG.
SHE'S FIT.

Steve says AND PREGNANT.

Don and Alf stand outside an old stone house in the woods.

Don says WE'VE USED THIS PLACE FOR ALL
SORTS OVER THE YEARS.

Alf says POACHING?
HIDING STOLEN GOODS?

Don says YOU GET THE GENERAL IDEA.
TRACEY!
TRACEY!
I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WERE BORN.
SUCH A LITTLE THING.
I COULD HOLD HER LIKE THAT
IN ONE HAND.
KIDS, EH?
HALF THE TIME YOU LOVE 'EM,
THE OTHER HALF YOU HATE 'EM.
(thudding)

Don yells TRACEY!

(crashing)
Don smashes the door to get in.

Don says TRACEY?!
TRAY...
LENNY?!

Lenny says DON'T HURT ME, DON, PLEASE.
OH, NO.

Don says WHY IS EVERYONE ALWAYS SO
FRIGHTENED OF ME?

Alf says I CAN'T IMAGINE.

Lord Ashfordly says I RECKON YOU'VE GOT ABOUT
ANOTHER HOUR OR SO OF DAYLIGHT,
MERTON.

Merton says WE'LL TRY ONE MORE SWEEP.

Alf, Don and Lenny arrive.

Lord Ashfordly says DIBLEY, I WAS
WONDERING WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO
ARREST HIM.

Alf says LENNY HAS AN IDEA WHERE
TRACEY MIGHT BE!

Lenny says THE WATERFALL AT
WADE'S BECK.
THAT'S WHERE WE USED TO GO.
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS ROMANTIC.

Lord Ashfordly says WELL, THAT'S TOTALLY
INACCESSIBLE BY ROAD.
YOU'LL NEVER GET THERE ON FOOT
BEFORE DARK.

Steve says WE CAN TRY.
LENNY, SHOW US!

Lenny says DON SAYS SHE WANTS TO MARRY
YOU, IS THAT TRUE?

Steve says THE LESS YOU TALK, THE EASIER
IT'LL BE TO KEEP UP.

Lenny says WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS HAVING
A BABY, I JUST PANICKED!
WELL, YOU DO, DON'T YOU?
BUT I DON'T WANT SOME OTHER
BLOKE BRINGING UP MY KID.
ESPECIALLY NOT A COPPER.

Steve says THEN MARRY HER YOURSELF.

Lenny says IT'S DOWN HERE.

(dramatic music plays)
They arrive at a waterfall.

Steve yells TRACEY!
TRACEY!

Lenny yells TRACEY!

Tracey says LENNY!

Steve says HANG ON, I THINK I CAN HEAR
SOMETHING DOWN THERE.

Lenny says THERE'S A SORT OF
LEDGE, JUST ABOUT HALFWAY DOWN.

Steve says TRACEY!

Tracey says HELP!

Steve says I CAN HEAR HER, I'M GOING
DOWN.

Lenny says DOWN THERE?
YOU'LL BREAK YOUR NECK!

Steve says I'LL USE THE ROPE.
YOU'LL HAVE TO HANG ONTO ME.

Lenny says YOU ARE KIDDING.
I CAN'T HOLD YOUR WEIGHT.

Steve says THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO GO DOWN.

Lenny says ME?!
THAT'S A SHEER ROCK FACE.

Steve says I'LL JUST LOWER YOU DOWN.
YOU WON'T FALL, I PROMISE.

Lenny says I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS.

Steve says 'COURSE YOU CAN.
LOOK, SHE NEEDS A HERO.

Lenny says I'M NOT A HERO.

Steve says NO ONE IS, MATE.
YOU JUST PRETEND.
NOW OVER YOU GO.
AND DON'T WORRY.
I WON'T DROP YOU.

Lenny says I HATE HEIGHTS.

Tracey says HELP!

(splashing)

Tracey yells HELP!

Lenny says TRACEY?!

Tracey says HELP ME!
LENNY!

All wet, Tracey lies at the bottom of the ledge.

Lenny says IT'S ALL RIGHT, TRACE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

Tracey says I WAS TRYING TO GET DOWN TO
THE WATER'S EDGE, WHERE WE USED
TO SIT.
BUT I SLIPPED.

Lenny says WE'LL SOON GET YOU OUT OF
HERE.

Tracey says LENNY, YOU FOUND ME!
(sobbing)

She hugs him.

Later, at the pub, Liz says SHE HAS A TWISTED ANKLE, BUT
APART FROM THAT SHE'S FINE.

Steve says I JUST WISH I COULD FEEL
SORRY FOR HER.

Merton says WELL, YOU STAY IN THIS JOB
LONG ENOUGH, YOU GET ACCUSED OF
ALL SORTS OF THINGS.

Jenny says BEING A YOUNG GIRL'S FANTASY,
SOME MEN MIGHT BE FLATTERED.

Steve says I SUPPOSE THEY MIGHT, BUT
I'M JUST GLAD IT'S ALL OVER.
CHEERS.

Merton says CHEERS, HERE'S TO THAT.

Oscar says A LITTLE BIRD TELLS ME THAT
YOU TWO ARE GOING IN FOR
LANDSCAPE GARDENING.

Bernie says WELL, THE LITTLE BIRD TELLS
YOU WRONG.
WE HAD TO PRACTICALLY RE-TURF
THE WHOLE LAWN.

David says I GOT RID OF THE MOLES,
THOUGH.

Lenny says I'VE COME TO APOLOGIZE.

Oscar says I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE IN JAIL, LENNY.

Lenny says HIS LORDSHIP'S NOT PRESSING
CHARGES.
SORT OF WEDDING PRESENT, ME AND
TRACEY ARE GETTING MARRIED.

Oscar says DON INSISTED, DID HE?

Lenny says YEAH.
I NEED A FAVOUR.

David says WHAT?

Lenny says I NEED A MATE TO BE MY BEST
MAN.

David says WELL, YOU WANT ME?

Lenny says WOULD YOU?

Bernie says NO, HE WOULDN'T.

David says YEAH, OKAY.

Lenny says GREAT!
DRINKS ALL AROUND!
BEST MAN'S BUYING.

David looks surprised bun then he nods and smiles.

Customers say CHEERS!

Devised by Johnny Byrne.

Based on the books by Nicholas Rhea.

Title song performed by Nick Berry.

Executive Producer, Keith Richardson.

Producer, Gerry Mill.

Director, Adrian Bean.

Copyright Yorkshire Television LTD 2004.

Logo: ITV Studios Global Entertainment.

Watch: Heartbeat - episode 11 - Mountains and Molehills