Transcript: Jann Arden: Wisdom Earned Through Life and Music | Oct 26, 2020

Steve sits in the studio. He's slim, clean-shaven, in his fifties, with short curly brown hair. He's wearing a gray suit, white shirt, and purple tie.

A caption on screen reads "Wisdom found through life and music. @spaikin, @theagenda."

Steve says FOR MANY PEOPLE, BEING INDUCTED INTO THE CANADIAN MUSIC HALL OF FAME WOULD BE A CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT ON A CAREER WELL DONE. BUT NOT FOR JANN ARDEN. INSTEAD, SHE IS BUSIER THAN EVER. THE 8-TIME JUNO AWARD WINNING SINGER-SONGWRITER IS ALSO STAR OF HER OWN COMEDY SERIES, HOSTS A LIFESTYLE PODCAST, AND HAS WRITTEN AN HONEST, AND FIERCE, NEW MEMOIR. IT'S CALLED, "IF I KNEW THEN: FINDING WISDOM IN FAILURE AND POWER IN AGING." AND WE'RE DELIGHTED IT BRINGS JANN ARDEN TO OUR AIRWAVES TONIGHT FROM SPRINGBANK, ALBERTA...

Jann is in her fifties, with shoulder-length straight blond hair. She's wearing a black sweater.
A picture of her book appears briefly on screen. The cover features a picture of Jann next to a dirt road, wearing a denim jacket and a brown hoodie.

Steve continues JUST WEST OF CALGARY. IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN INTELLIGENCE VERY GOOD TO BE HERE, STEVE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.

Steve says THE LAST TIME YOU WERE ON THIS PROGRAM... IT'S FUNNY, WE TALKED ABOUT MANY OF THE SAME THINGS WE ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT TONIGHT, WE TALKED ABOUT SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND AGING. SO I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. YOU WERE IN STUDIO AND I MISS THE FACT YOU'RE NOT HERE. BUT I'D LIKE TO WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE WITH YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT, SHALL WE? HERE'S A CLIP FROM THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE. ROLL IT, SHELDON.

A clip plays on screen with the caption "May 19, 2005."
In the clip, Jann and a band stand on a stage with a younger Steve.

She says SO THERE IS A SENSE OF JOY AND I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING OLDER SO I'M NOT AS HARD ON MYSELF AS I USED TO BE AND AGE IS THE ONLY THING THAT DOES THAT FOR YOU. YOU GET OLDER AND YOU ABANDON THE FLIGHTINESS OF YOUTH AND YOU JUST START REALLY ENJOYING LIFE AND I THINK THAT'S WHERE I'M AT RIGHT NOW.

Steve says DO YOU WANT TO FESS UP HOW OLD YOU ARE?

Jann says 43. I TURNED 43 LAST SUNDAY. I'M PROUD OF IT, EVERY BRUISE, VARICOSE VEIN. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO LIE ABOUT OUR AGE?

Steve says WE'LL PLAY THIS TAPE BACK IN 10 OR 15 YEARS.

Jann says I'LL SAY I LOOK GREAT. THAT'S WHAT I'LL BE SAYING.

The clip ends.

Steve says HERE WE ARE 15 YEARS LATER AND, BOY, YOU STILL LOOK FANTASTIC, I GOTTA SAY. DON'T YOU THINK?

The caption changes to "Jann Arden. Author, 'If I knew then.'"
Then, it changes again to "The making of an artist."

Jann says I REMEMBER REALLY LIKING THAT VERSION OF ME, AND IT'S GREAT TO SEE, I HAD... THAT WAS PROBABLY NOT EVEN HALFWAY THROUGH MY CAREER LEFT BUT I RECOGNIZE MY COLLEAGUE RUSSELL AND THE BASS PLAYER. YEAH, IT'S GREAT GETTING OLDER AND I STAND BY EVERY SINGLE WORD. IT'S A PRIVILEGE, FOR ONE THING, EVEN AT MY AGE AT 58, I'VE LOST SEVERAL FRIENDS OVER THE YEARS TO VARIOUS THINGS AND IT'S ALWAYS HEARTBREAKING BUT I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO YOU WILL EVER HEARSAY I WISH I WAS YOUNGER, I WISH I COULD GO BACK. I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE YOUNG AGAIN, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING OLDER AND I HOPE I HAVE THAT OPPORTUNITY. IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME AT ALL. MY MOTHER WAS MY GREATEST CHAMPION AND MY GREATEST TEACHER WHEN IT CAME TO THINGS LIKE THAT. SO I'M GOING TO FOLLOW ALONG RIGHT BEHIND HER. SHE WAS REALLY SUCH A MARVEL TO ME.

Steve says YOU SAY IN THE BOOK YOU NEVER REALLY FIGURE OUT LIFE UNTIL YOU TURN 50. AND YOU WERE ONLY 43 THERE. SO WHAT HAPPENED AT 50 THAT SOMEHOW A LIGHT CAME ON THAT WASN'T ON WHEN YOU WERE 43 DURING THAT INTERVIEW?

The caption changes to "Jann Arden. Singer-Songwriter. @jannarden."

Jann says WELL, I DON'T THINK IT WAS ANY ONE PARTICULAR THING THAT HAPPENED AT 50. I THINK IT'S THE ACCUMULATION OF KNOWLEDGE, OF WISDOM, OF TIME, OF EXPERIENCES. YOU KNOW, THE HUMAN BRAIN LEARNS HOW TO ADAPT AND HOW TO RESPOND. THE WAY YOU NAVIGATE A SITUATION AT 55 IS MUCH DIFFERENT THAN YOU NAVIGATE AT 25. THAT'S JUST TIME. BUT, YEAH, I KEEP TELLING YOUNGER PEOPLE THAT I MEET NOW, LISTEN, YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO BECOME A PERSON UNTIL YOU TURN 45 AND THEY JUST LOOK AT ME, LIKE, WHAT? IT SEEMS SO SIMPLE WHEN YOU SAY IT BUT IT IS ABSOLUTELY THE ACCUMULATION OF TIME AND EXPERIENCES THAT LETS YOU GO FORWARD IN A MUCH MORE INTREPID WAY, IN A MUCH MORE CONFIDENT WAY, THAT YOU'RE NOT CONSTANTLY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION IN YOUR HEAD THAT PENALIZES EVERYTHING YOU DO AND EVERY IDEA THAT YOU HAVE. "NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT." "THAT WILL NEVER WORK." "YOU'VE GOT TO DO THIS." YOU KNOW, "WHY DID YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY, YOU KNOW, ACCOMPLISH THAT?" THAT'S THE VOICE THAT OCCUPIES THE FIRST 35 YEARS OF OUR LIVES. NOW I ACTUALLY HAVE SOMEONE IN MY HEAD CHEERING ME ON ALL THE TIME: "WHY NOT? JUST DO IT. WHO CARES IF YOU FALL OFF."

Steve says IT I TAKE ISSUE WITH SOMETHING YOU SAY AT THE VERY BEGINNING OF THE BOOK. YOU CALL YOURSELF A CRONE. YOU SAY "NOW THAT I'M A CRONE." WHEN I THINK OF A CRONE, JAN, I THINK OF A 90-YEAR-OLD FRAIL WOMAN IN A WHEELCHAIR OR ROCKING CHAIR, AND THAT'S NOT YOU.

The caption changes to "Watch us anytime: tvo.org, Twitter: @theagenda, Facebook Live, YouTube."

Jann says OH, I'M A CRONE. I'M DEFINITELY A CRONE. I AM THE WOMAN CRAWLING OUT OF THE TREES WITH A BIG STICK, YOU KNOW? AND IF YOU'RE NOT BESIDE ME, GET OUT OF MY WAY. MAYBE IT'S THE JANN VERSION OF A CRONE. A CRONE IS A LOVELY BEING. SHE IS SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T NEED A LOT OF COMPANY IN ORDER TO BE HAPPY. I THINK ONE THING THAT HAS REALLY COME TO THE FOREFRONT IN MY MIND DURING ALL THIS COVID STUFF IS THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE MYSELF A LOT. AND, YOU KNOW, WE'VE ALL BEEN FORCED TO SPEND TIME BY OURSELVES AND ALONE WITH OUR THOUGHTS, AND I WRITE ABOUT THAT IN THIS BOOK AS WELL, HOW IMPORTANT IT IS, EVEN IF YOU HAVE THREE KIDS OR TWO JOBS OR, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE DRIVING KIDS AROUND TO HOCKEY, WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU'RE DOING THAT DOESN'T ALLOW YOU TO HAVE TIME BY YOURSELF, MAYBE COVID HAS PRESENTED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US WITH THAT OPPORTUNITY OF HAVING AN HOUR WHERE YOU CAN HEAR YOURSELF THINK. BUT LIKE I WAS SAYING, I ACTUALLY LIKE MYSELF. AND THAT IS THE GOAL OF A HUMAN LIFE. I DON'T KNOW WHY WE ARE LED TO BELIEVE THAT WE NEED TO BE IN A STATE OF CONSTANT OPPOSITION TO WHO WE ARE AND HOW WE THINK AND WHAT WE DO. I LIKE WHO I AM, AND THAT IS BIG IN HUMAN LIFE. IT LETS YOU GO FORWARD IN A WAY THAT YOU CAN'T IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOURSELF.

Steve says WELL, I THINK THAT ANSWER REFLECTS A COUPLE OF THINGS. NUMBER ONE, I APPRECIATE YOU'RE MAKING IN THE BOOK THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN BEING ALONE AND BEING LONELY. THEY ARE DIFFERENT THINGS, AND CERTAINLY, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE EXPRESSED THE IMPORTANCE OF HAVING TIME TO ONESELF. BUT THE THING THAT ALSO COMES OUT, AND YOU'VE HAD... YOU'VE BEEN VERY OPEN AND BLUNT ABOUT IT... YOU'VE HAD A HELL OF A LIFE WITH A LOT OF CHALLENGES AND A LOT OF DIFFICULTIES AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT SOME OF THEM HERE. BUT YOUR OPTIMISM THAT JUST INSISTS ON POWERING THROUGH. AND LET'S JUST START BY GOING BACK. YOU SPENT A LOT OF TIME ALONE AS A KID OF, OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE, EARLY TEENAGE YEARS, MAYBE BEFORE, IN THE BASEMENT OF YOUR HOME ALONE, AND YOU DIDN'T MIND IT BECAUSE YOU WERE HIDING FROM YOUR DAD'S ALCOHOLISM AND, AS IT TURNS OUT, THAT'S WHAT INTRODUCED YOU TO A GUITAR AND SONG WRITING AND YOU HAD WRITTEN 300 SONGS BY THE TIME YOU WERE, WHATEVER, A TEENAGER. HOW DO YOU FIND THAT OPTIMISTIC PATH WHEN IT WOULD BE SO EASY TO GO THE OTHER WAY?

Jann says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

Steve says WELL, I'LL TAKE YOU A LITTLE BIT FURTHER FORWARD BECAUSE, AND I'D LOVE IT IF YOU'D TELL THIS STORY, IF ALAN AND JILL HAD NOT BROKEN UP, YOU MIGHT NOT BE THE SUPERSTAR YOU ARE TODAY. EXPLAIN.

The caption changes to "Subscribe to The Agenda Podcast: tvo.org/theagenda."

Jann says GOOD THINGS COME OUT OF BAD THINGS. I HAD BEEN WORKING WITH A FELLOW IN CALGARY NAMED NEIL McGONIGAL FOR SEVERAL YEARS, LIVING IN A BASEMENT SUITE, WORKING ON SONGS, SENDING OUT DEMOS, CONSTANT, CONSTANT, CONSTANT. AT THE END OF FIVE YEARS, YOU KNOW, WE WERE RUNNING OUT OF MONEY, RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS, RUNNING OUT OF LABELS. LAST CASSETTE WENT OUT TO A YOUNG FELLOW NAMED ALAN REID. HE WAS 26 YEARS OLD, LOOKING TO SIGN THE NEXT NIRVANA. IT WAS THE EARLY '90s. ANYWAY, HE PUT MY CASSETTE IN HIS CAR AND LISTENED TO IT A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW, A GIRL SINGING LOVE SONGS WITH AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR WASN'T REALLY HIS BAG. AND HE PASSED. AND A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER, HIS GIRLFRIEND/FIANCEE JILL SCHNELL, I STILL SEE HER AROUND, BROKE UP WITH HIM AND HE WAS DEVASTATED AND TOOK A BIT OF TIME OFF, COMPOSED HIMSELF, WENT BACK TO WORK... EXCUSE ME... AND GUESS WHOSE CASSETTE WAS STILL IN HIS CAR? SO HE WAS A YOUNG MAN, 26, GOING THROUGH HIS FIRST HEARTBREAK, GETS IN HIS CAR, TURNS IT ON, AND THE FIRST SONG THAT CAME ON WAS A SONG CALLED "I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE," WHICH ENDED UP BEING ON MY NEW RECORD. HE PULLED HIS CAR OVER BECAUSE THERE WERE NO CELL PHONES IN THOSE DAYS AND HE SIGNED ME TO A RECORD DEAL. HE SAID I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE EVER GOING TO SELL A RECORD, BUT LET'S DO IT. HE SAYS I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS THAT YOU DO.

Steve says I WONDER IF... LIKE, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO ASK YOU THIS QUESTION: GIVEN THAT THAT'S HOW YOU WERE DISCOVERED AND HOW IT ALL EVENTUALLY HAPPENED, DO YOU EVER WONDER HOW, IF THOSE TWO HADN'T BROKEN UP, THAT STORY THAT YOU JUST TOLD NEVER WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, MAYBE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED, MAYBE YOU WOULD NOT HAVE HAD THE CAREER YOU'VE HAD, OR, YOU KNOW, WAS YOUR TALENT SO OBVIOUSLY THERE AND YOUR DRIVE SO OBVIOUSLY THERE THAT IT WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED THAT WAY BUT IT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED ANOTHER WAY. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Jann says I DON'T KNOW, STEVE. I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT. I DON'T KNOW IF I BELIEVE THAT THE OUTCOME WOULD HAVE BEEN ME PURSUING MUSIC. I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD BE THE PERSON SITTING HERE TALKING TO YOU. I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THAT. I THINK WHAT IS KNOWN COMPARED TO WHAT IS UNKNOWN IN THIS LIFE, IN THIS SPACE THAT WE OCCUPY IN THE ABYSS IS SO BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD EVER IMAGINE. ALL I KNOW IS I BELIEVE IN GOODNESS, I BELIEVE IN INTENTION, I BELIEVE THAT THOUGHTS ARE THINGS AND THAT YOU CAN REALLY CHANGE AND SHAPE YOUR LIFE BY HOW YOU PERCEIVE YOURSELF IN THE WORLD AND HOW YOU THINK OF YOURSELF. AND IT IS A CONSTANT BATTLE. I TALK ABOUT IT IN THE BOOK, YOU KNOW, I TALK ABOUT, YOU KNOW, LET'S FACE IT. THE LONGEST CONVERSATION YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WITH ANYONE IN YOUR LIFE IS YOU. AND WE HAVE SOME PRETTY DEROGATORY, PRETTY HORRIBLE CONVERSATIONS WITH OURSELVES. AND I THINK WHEN THAT YOUNG LADY YOU I SPOKE TO AT 43 YEARS OLD IN THAT CLIP THAT YOU SHOWED, I THINK SHE WAS JUST STARTING TO ACTUALLY BELIEVE HER OWN CRAP AND TO BELIEVE THAT THINGS WERE POSSIBLE FOR ME AND THAT I WAS DESERVING OF SUCCEEDING. YOU KNOW, IT'S GLARINGLY OBVIOUS THAT MOST PEOPLE DEAL MUCH BETTER WITH FAILURE THAN THEY DO SUCCESS. WHEN PEOPLE FAIL, THEY EXPECT IT. I THINK THERE'S BEEN LOTS OF STUDIES DONE ON THAT TOO, YOU KNOW, WHEN THEY DON'T GET A JOB OR THEY DON'T WIN THE LOTTERY OR THEY DON'T WIN A RACE OR THEY DON'T... WHEN THEY FAIL, THEY'RE LIKE, PFT, OF COURSE. I'VE ALREADY TOLD ME THIS A BILLION TIMES. I KNEW THAT. I KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO GET IT. SO I DON'T KNOW WHY WE FEEL THAT WE CAN'T TURN THAT CONVERSATION AROUND. MY MOM USED TO SAY TO ME AS A YOUNG PERSON, AS A TEENAGER... ONE THING SHE SAID TO ME, SHE SAID, JANN, I HOPE YOU ASPIRE TO SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST GETTING MARRIED. THAT REALLY STUCK WITH ME BECAUSE A LOT OF LITTLE GIRLS ARE SAID THAT IS THE END YOU WILL/BE ALL, THAT SHOULD BE THE GOAL THAT YOU'RE FIRING THE GUN AT, WHICH IS MARRIAGE. MY MOM SAID NO. I THINK SHE LOOKED AT HER OWN LIFE AND SAID, I HOPE YOU WANT MORE THAN THIS. AND IT WAS HEARTBREAKING AND PIVOTAL FOR ME AT THE SAME TIME. BUT SHE ALSO SAID TO ME IN MY 20s, WHEN I WAS STARTING TO DO MUSIC, "WHY NOT YOU? WHY NOT YOU?" AND BECAUSE I HAD SOMEONE... BECAUSE I HAD A MOM THAT CHAMPIONED ME AND ACCEPTED ME AND CHEERED ME ON DESPITE MASSIVE... A MASSIVE THING IN THE WORLD TELLING ME THAT I COULDN'T DO IT, THAT I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO, IT WAS BECAUSE I HAD HER VOICE IN MY HEAD WHEN I DIDN'T HAVE MY OWN. SO THAT WAS... THAT WAS A BIG PART OF MY STORY AND CONTINUES TO BE. MY MOM INFORMS MY LIFE AND MY DECISIONS EVERY SINGLE DAY AND SHE'S BEEN GONE A COUPLE OF YEARS NOW.

The caption changes to "It's not always easy."

Steve says I THINK THAT'S HER PICTURE OVER YOUR LEFT SHOULDER, IS IT NOT?

Jann turns around and looks at a book featuring a picture of herself sitting in an armchair.

She says THAT'S ME IN THE BACK OF A BOOK. BUT I THINK MY MOM IS HERE. HERE'S MY MOM.

She picks up and shows a portrait of an older blond woman with glasses.

Steve says THERE WE GO. WELL, THOSE TWO QUOTES YOU GAVE OF YOUR MOTHER'S ARE GREAT. BUT THERE WAS A THIRD ONE THAT I WROTE DOWN BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY COMPELLING AS WELL, AND THAT ONE WAS: "IF YOU CAN'T BE BRAVE, BE RECKLESS." THOSE ARE NOT THE WORDS I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WOULD HAVE COME OUT OF THE MOUTH OF A MOM IN ALBERTA.

Jann says I THINK MY MOM HAD STOLEN THAT FROM MY GREAT AUNT, SO IT WAS MY MOTHER'S AUNT, AND SHE WAS ABOUT FOUR FOOT NOTHING, AND MY AUNT ERN WAS A PERSON WHO WOULD JUMP OFF A BRIDGE OR DRIVE A CAR THROUGH A FIRE, AND I THINK SHE HAD A LOT OF INFLUENCE ON MY MOM. AND TO ME, THAT ALWAYS JUST MEANT, JUST DO IT. JUST WORRY ABOUT THE... IT'S EASIER TO BEG FORGIVENESS THAN ASK PERMISSION. I THINK THAT'S KIND OF WHAT I GLEANED FROM THAT. AND SOMETIMES , YOU KNOW, RECKLESSNESS IS THE ABSENCE OF BRAVERY. I FEEL LIKE THEY WORK IN TANDEM, I REALLY DO, STEVE. SOMETIMES RECKLESS CONJURES UP SOMEONE NOT CARING OR NOT CARING ABOUT THE LIVES THEY'RE AFFECTING AROUND THEM, BUT I THINK YOU CAN BE INSULATED AND STILL BE RECKLESS AND NOT HURT OTHER PEOPLE. BUT THAT WAS MY MOM. I DIDN'T ALWAYS UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING SHE SAID TO ME, THAT'S FOR SURE.

Steve says I WANT TO PUT ONE OF YOUR DAD'S QUOTES TO YOU AS WELL BECAUSE HE HAD SOMETHING THAT I JOTTED DOWN HERE AS WELL. HE SAID "THE WORST MARRIAGES DON'T END IN DIVORCE, THEY DON'T END."

Jann says THEY DON'T END.

She laughs.

Steve says WHICH IS A PRETTY, WELL, IT'S A PRETTY OUT-THERE THING FOR SOMEONE WHO WAS MARRIED FOR 60 YEARS TO BE SAYING, RIGHT? SO WHAT DID YOU INFER FROM THAT?

The caption changes to "Telling the whole truth."

Jann says I THINK THE FACT THAT PEOPLE FEEL MARTYRED, I THINK SOMETIMES IN MARRIAGES. MAYBE MY PARENTS WERE CUT FROM A CLOTH WHERE YOU STAYED TOGETHER NO MATTER WHAT. AND MY MOM SAID, WELL, WE JUST FELT THAT WE HAD MORE TOGETHER THAN WE DID APART AND NEITHER ONE OF US WANTED TO START OVER AGAIN. BUT SHE DID KICK HIM OUT AT ONE POINT. I THINK 15, 20 YEARS INTO THEIR MARRIAGE, SHE BOOTED HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE BECAUSE OF HIS DRINKING, OBVIOUSLY. BUT HE... MY DAD, AS MUCH AS HE JOKED A LOT OF THE TIME, THERE WAS A LOT OF TRUTH IN HIS VERY BIZARRE SENSE OF HUMOUR. YOU KNOW, HE USED TO ALWAYS TELL ME, FIRST THE MAN TAKES THE DRINK AND THEN THE DRINK TAKES THE MAN. AND THAT ALWAYS STUCK WITH ME TOO IN A HAUNTING KIND OF A WAY. IT STOLE SO MUCH OF HIS LIFE. EVEN WHEN HE QUIT DRINKING, HE RESENTED IT SO MUCH THAT HE WAS KIND OF A MISERABLE GUY. MY FRIEND STEPHANIE CALLED HIM THE GODDAMN IT GUY.

Steve says BUT YOUR MOTHER WOULD ONLY CALL HIM THE GD GUY BECAUSE SHE NEVER SWORE, RIGHT?

Jann says SHE DIDN'T SWEAR UNTIL SHE GOT ALZHEIMER'S AND THEN SHE SAID THINGS THAT I NEVER, EVER THOUGHT I'D HEAR COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH. MY GOD, DID WE LAUGH.

Steve says LET ME GET BACK ON THE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ISSUE AND I CAN'T REMEMBER WHO SAID THIS, IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN YOUR DAD, YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD IT FROM SOMEONE ELSE. PEOPLE WHO ABUSE DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ARE PRACTISING HOW TO DIE. THAT MUST HAVE HIT YOU HARD, RIGHT?

Jann says IT DID. I NEVER WANTED TO BE LIKE MY DAD. I FIGURED IF I DIDN'T DRINK RUM THAT I WOULD NEVER BE LIKE HIM. THAT'S WHAT HE DRANK ALL THE TIME AND HE ALWAYS SMELLED OF RUM. IF RUM WAS THE LAST THING IN A MINI BAR, I WOULDN'T DRINK IT EVEN IF I WAS DESPERATE, IF THAT TELLS YOU ANYTHING. I THINK ANY KID THAT WITNESSES AN ALCOHOLIC PARENT AND THE UNILATERAL DAMAGE THAT THAT DRINKING DOES IN A FAMILY, I JUST FEEL FOR THEM SO MUCH. I REGRET SO MANY OF THE THINGS THAT I DID IN MY LIFE. I JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT I HAD CONTROL OF ALCOHOL AND THAT IT WASN'T A PROBLEM. AND IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T DRINK LIKE MY DAD THAT I THOUGHT I WAS OKAY. I WAS KIND OF A BINGER. I WASN'T ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT WOKE UP AND STARTED DRINKING IN THE MORNING, SO I THOUGHT, I CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE THAT. BECAUSE MY DAD DRANK EVERY DAY ALL DAY. WHEN I DID DRINK, MAYBE A WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, OR FRIDAY NIGHT AND WASTED MYSELF AND THEN I WOULDN'T DRINK FOR FOUR DAYS AND I THOUGHT, SEE? I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. I'M FINE. AND THAT'S JUST NOT HOW ALCOHOL WORKS. I ALWAYS SAY TO PEOPLE THAT ASK ME ABOUT STOPPING DRINKING, AND I GET ASKED ALL THE TIME: HOW DID YOU STOP? THAT'S ALWAYS A TELLING QUESTION TO ME IF THEY'RE COMING TO ME AND ASKING ME THAT. MY ANSWER TO THEM IS ALWAYS: IF YOU HAVE LOOKED IN A MIRROR AT ANY TIME IN YOUR LIFE, RECENTLY, NOT SO RECENTLY, AND YOU'VE SAID TO YOURSELF IN THAT MOMENT, YOU KNOW, WITH YOU, YOUR TOOTHBRUSH AND THE MIRROR, AND YOU'VE SAID: YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH. YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH, JANN. I SAID THAT TO MYSELF SO MANY TIMES OVER THE YEARS, DON'T GIVE UP TRYING. DON'T GIVE UP TRYING TO STOP. BECAUSE THAT VOICE GETS QUIETER AND QUIETER AND QUIETER AS YOU PROGRESS IN THE DISEASE, LIKE ALCOHOLISM, ANY KIND OF ADDICTION, THAT VOICE GETS QUIETER. BUT I GOT LUCKY. I JUST... I JUST HAD THE SENSE TO STOP DOING IT AND I'M VERY GRATEFUL.

Steve says WELL, IT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT SURPRISED ME ABOUT THE BOOK BECAUSE I KNOW FRANK SINATRA WAS SAYING, REGRETS I'VE HAD A FEW BUT YET TOO FEW TO MENTION. AND YOU SAY YOU HAVE LIVED A LIFE RIDDLED WITH REGRETS. WHICH I WAS SURPRISED OF WITH YOUR USE OF THAT WORD. YOU KNOW, THE GETTING INTO BOOZE I GET WHY YOU'D REGRET THAT. BUT "RIDDLED" SUGGESTS FAR MORE THAN THAT, OR AM I READING TOO MUCH INTO IT?

Jann says NO, I HAVE SO MANY REGRETS, SO MANY REGRETS. I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED HOW PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT I DON'T REGRET ANYTHING. I DO. I REGRET A LOT OF THINGS. YOU KNOW, HAVING SAID THAT, AND THIS SEEMS ODD IN THE SAME BREATH, I WOULDN'T CHANGE THEM. I WOULDN'T CHANGE, YOU KNOW, THE FAILURE AND THE MISTAKES THAT I MADE AND THE PEOPLE I'VE HURT, THE THINGS THAT I'VE SAID, THE ACTIONS THAT I'VE DONE OUT OF SPITE. I WOULDN'T CHANGE THEM BECAUSE, LIKE I SAID, I LIKE WHO I AM AND I DIDN'T ALWAYS LIKE WHO I WAS. I HAD MOMENTS OF KIND OF SEEING SOMEBODY THAT I LIKED. BUT, YEAH, REGRET IS... MAYBE IT'S JUST A WORD WE THROW AROUND TOO MUCH. IT'S JUST BECOME SO... WE'VE BECOME KIND OF DESENSITIZED TO WHAT A REGRET IS AND IT'S SOMETHING YOU WISH YOU HADN'T HAVE DONE. I'VE GOT LOTS OF THOSE.

Steve says I WANT TO ASK YOU THE SAME KIND OF QUESTION I ONCE ASKED TONY BENNETT, WHICH WAS, DID HE EVER GET SICK OF SINGING "SAN FRANCISCO"? IT'S HIS SIGNATURE SONG. EVERY TIME HE DOES A CONCERT, EVERYBODY EXPECTS HIM TO SING "I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO," HE WOULDN'T THINK OF NOT SINGING IT BECAUSE HE KNOWS EVERYBODY WANTS IT. I WANT TO ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION. YOU REALLY CAN'T DO A CONCERT OR SHOW AND NOT SING "INSENSITIVE," RIGHT?

Jann says I WOULD NEVER THINK OF IT. WHERE I'M SITTING IS BECAUSE OF "INSENSITIVE." IT ALL STEMS FROM THAT. IT'S ONE OF THE FEW OUTSIDE SONGS I'VE EVER CUT FROM AN ORIGINAL ALBUM AND IT IS A BRILLIANT SONG. ANNE MARIE, A FELLOW CALGARIAN, WROTE THAT SONG. SHE IS BRILLIANT. I WISH I HAD SEEN HER DO OTHER CUTS WITH HER FANTASTIC WRITING. BUT, NO, I WOULD NEVER NOT SING THAT. IT WOULD BE LIKE NOT SINGING "GOOD MOTHER" OR NOT SINGING "WOULD I DIE FOR YOU" OR "COULD I BE YOUR GIRL." THOSE ARE ALWAYS IN MY SET AND ALWAYS WILL BE.

Steve says TONY BENNETT SAID... I GUESS I ASKED HIM, DON'T YOU EVER GET SICK... IS THERE NEVER ONE MOMENT YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT SONG AND THINK, GEEZ, I'VE SUNG THIS ONE TIME TOO MANY. HE SAYS NO. ARE YOU THE SAME?

Jann says I DON'T GET SICK OF THEM, NOPE. I THINK IT'S SUCH A BLESSING THAT, YOU KNOW, I EVEN HAVE A CATALOGUE OF SONGS. I MEAN, THESE DAYS, YOUNG ARTISTS ARE COMING UP AND THEY HAVE A SINGLE AND IT'S VERY HARD TO MAKE A CAREER ON ONE SONG. LIKE, YOU KIND OF HAVE TO HAVE A FEW. BUT... NO. I ENJOY IT. EVERY TIME I SING IT, IT'S SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. IT'S NEVER THE SAME.

Steve says YEAH, HE SAID, WELL, HOW DO YOU COOL YOUR LIPS AFTER A SUMMER'S GIFT? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT. WE'LL SAVE THAT FOR THE NEXT INTERVIEW. SADLY, I'M DOWN TO MY LAST MINUTE HERE. I WANT TO ASK YOU ONE MORE WEIRD QUIRKY QUESTION, AND THAT IS: I THINK I REMEMBER HEARING THAT ONCE UPON A TIME, RATHER THAN PAY YOU 30,000 dollars FOR A GIG THAT YOU DID, SOME CHOCOLATE COMPANY GAVE YOU 30,000 dollars WORTH OF CHOCOLATE. AND I WANT TO KNOW IF THERE'S ANY OF THAT CHOCOLATE LEFT.

Jann says I JUST GOT RID OF THE LAST GIFT CERTIFICATE PROBABLY ABOUT 5 YEARS AGO. SO EVERYONE HAD... MY MOM WOULD SAY TO ME, "I WOULDN'T MIND ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE CHOCOLATE GIFT CARDS." AND I GAVE THEM TO CHARITY. IT IS FRIGGIN' HARD TO BUY 30,000 dollars WORTH OF CHOCOLATE.

Steve says I BET.

Jann says SOME PEOPLE WOULD GO, "NO, IT'S SO EASY." IT IS NOT. I WOULD TAKE KIDS... THIS IS MY WILLIE WONKA MOMENT. I WOULD TAKE KIDS, MY FRIENDS' KIDS, NEPHEWS, WE'D GO INTO THE CHOCOLATE STORE AND I'D SAY, TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT. TAKE WHATEVER YOU WANT. THEY'RE LIKE "WHAT?" I'D SAY SERIOUSLY, GRAB WHATEVER YOU WANT. AND YOU'D THINK THAT THESE KIDS WOULD GO HELL-BENT FOR LEATHER... I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT SAYING MEANS... BUT TAKE EVERYTHING OFF THE SHELVES AND PUT IT IN A BAG. THEY'D TAKE, LIKE, TWO THINGS. "IS THIS OKAY?" I'M LIKE, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH KIDS THESE DAYS? TAKE SOME GD CHOCOLATE. LIKE, TAKE THAT." THEY JUST DID NOT HAVE IT IN THEM. AND, GOD, IF THAT HAD BEEN ME AT 12 YEARS OLD, I WOULD HAVE BEEN PIPPY LONGSTOCKING IT BIG-TIME.

The caption changes to "Producer: Carla Lucchetta, @carrletta."

Steve says I LIKE THE WAY YOU SAID GD THERE, JUST LIKE YOUR MOM WOULD HAVE RECOMMENDED. THAT'S NICE. I WANT TO REMIND EVERYBODY, "IF I KNEW THEN: WISDOM IN FAILURE IN POWER AND AGING." THAT IS JANN ARDEN'S LATEST. HER TV SHOW IS COMING BACK ON CTV. SHE HAS A SITCOM ABOUT HER LIFE. AND OH MY GOODNESS, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, 5.6 MILLION HITS ON YouTube FOR "INSENSITIVE." 5.6 MILLION. NO KIDDING IT PAID FOR THE HOUSE. JANN, I HOPE WE'LL DO THIS AGAIN IN 15 YEARS OR MAYBE EVEN SOONER, WHAT THE HECK.

Jann says THANK YOU, STEVEN. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE US 10 YEARS FROM NOW.

Steve says AMEN. TAKE CARE.

Watch: Jann Arden: Wisdom Earned Through Life and Music