Transcript: Finding Meaning After Sporting Glory | Jul 21, 2021

An animated slate reads "The Agenda in the Summer."

A female announcer says THE AGENDA IN THE SUMMER WITH NAM KIWANUKA IS MADE POSSIBLE THROUGH GENEROUS PHILANTHROPIC CONTRIBUTIONS FROM VIEWERS LIKE YOU. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING TVO'S JOURNALISM.

Nam stands in the studio. She's in her early forties, with shoulder length straight brown hair. She's wearing glasses, a blue blazer and a blue blouse.

A wall screen behind her reads "The Agenda in the Summer."

Nam says AFTER CHASING BIG DREAMS WITH ENORMOUS EFFORT FOR MANY YEARS, HOW DO YOU NAVIGATE WHAT COMES AFTER? I'M NAM KIWANUKA. THE TOKYO OLYMPICS KICK OFF THIS WEEKEND, AND TONIGHT WE RETURN TO A FASCINATING CONVERSATION FROM 2018 WITH ATHLETES WHO COMPETED AT THAT HIGHEST LEVEL ABOUT HOW THEY HANDLED THE TRANSITION TO POST-COMPETITIVE LIFE.

Music plays as an animated slate reads "The Agenda in the Summer."

Nam says THE 2020 SUMMER OLYMPICS WERE SET TO TAKE PLACE IN JULY OF LAST YEAR. AS THE PANDEMIC DEEPENED, COUNTRIES BEGAN CLOSING THEIR BORDERS AND QUALIFYING EVENTS HAD TO BE CANCELLED. DESPITE THE INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIC COMMITTEE CONFIRMING THAT PREPARATIONS FOR THE GAMES WOULD CONTINUE, IN MARCH 2020, CANADA AND AUSTRALIA ANNOUNCED THEIR ATHLETES WOULD NOT COMPETE UNLESS THE GAMES WERE DELAYED. THE NEXT DAY, THE IOC ANNOUNCED THE OLYMPICS WOULD BE POSTPONED. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IN THE MODERN GAMES THAT SOMETHING OTHER THAN WAR DISRUPTED THE EVENT. ATHLETES WERE QUALIFYING FOR TEAM CANADA WELL INTO JUNE OF 2021, AND NEEDLESS TO SAY, TRAINING AND BEING READY FOR COMPETITION AFTER THE DELAY ADDS A WHOLE OTHER CHALLENGE FOR THEM. HERE'S A LOOK BACK AT HOW CANADIAN OLYMPIANS HAVE FACED A DIFFERENT KIND OF ADVERSITY.

An animated slate reads "The Agenda in the Summer."

In a clip, Steve sits in the studio with four guests. He's in his fifties, clean-shaven, with short curly brown hair. He's wearing a gray suit, blue shirt and checkered gray tie.

Steve says ROLF, GIVEN THAT YOU'RE NOT AN OLYMPIAN, I ACTUALLY, FUNNILY ENOUGH, DO WANT TO START WITH YOU. OKAY. YOU'RE THE NON-OLYMPIAN ON THE PANEL, ALTHOUGH YOU WERE ON THE NATIONAL SAILING TEAM, I GUESS, FOR A BIT.

Rolf says MM-HMM. MANY MOONS AGO.

Steve says YOU'RE AN ADVISOR AT GAME PLAN.

Rolf says YES. WHAT IS YOUR MISSION THERE?

The caption changes to "Rolf Wagschal. Game Plan Advisor." Then, it changes again to "The love of the game."

Rolf is in his thirties, with short brown hair and a full beard. He's wearing a black jersey.

He says SO, GAME PLAN IS A PROGRAM DESIGNED TO HELP OUR NATIONAL TEAM ATHLETES, BOTH OLYMPIANS AND PARALYMPIANS, DEVELOP THEMSELVES IN A MORE HOLISTIC WAY. AND SO, THE EASIER WAY TO DESCRIBE THAT IS MY JOB IS TO HELP OUR NATIONAL TEAM ATHLETES FIGURE OUT HOW TO ORGANIZE THEIR LIVES AROUND THEIR SPORT. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF TIMES, OUR AMATEUR ATHLETES, WHICH IS WHAT OUR OLYMPIANS AND PARALYMPIANS ARE, THEY'RE BASICALLY PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES WITHOUT THE PAYCHEQUE.

The caption changes to "Originally aired March 5, 2018."

Rolf says SO, THEY'RE TRAINING ANYWHERE BETWEEN 20 AND 40 HOURS A WEEK. IT DOESN'T LEAVE... YOU KNOW, THEY'RE AWAY FOR THREE TO SIX WEEKS AT A TIME AT TRAINING CAMPS OR COMPETITIONS SPORADICALLY THROUGHOUT THE YEAR. DOESN'T LEAVE A WHOLE LOT OF TIME TO DEVELOP, YOU KNOW, A SOLID CAREER PATH WHILE THEY'RE STILL ENGAGED WITH THAT. UM, YOU KNOW, IT LEAVES A LOT OF QUESTION MARKS IN TERMS OF, OKAY, HOW DO WE FIT ALL THESE DIFFERENT PIECES OF THEIR LIVES TOGETHER IN A WAY THAT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. AND SO, MY ROLE IS TO JUST TRY AND PROVIDE SOME GUIDANCE AND SOME ADVISING TO THAT, AND GIVE THEM SOME SUPPORT AROUND THOSE QUESTIONS.

Steve says DEIDRA, AT WHAT POINT IN YOUR LIFE DID SKIING BECOME A THING?

The caption changes to "Deidra Dionne. Salt Lake City 2002 Bronze Medallist."

Deidra is in her thirties, with long wavy brown hair. She's wearing a dark gray blouse.

She says WELL, I SKIED FROM THE TIME I WAS BASICALLY WALKING. BUT, UM, AT 13, WAS KIND OF THAT MOMENT WHERE I TRANSFERRED FROM ALPINE TO FREESTYLE SKIING, AND KNEW THAT NOT ONLY DID I LOVE THIS SPORT, BUT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT I WANTED TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS IN. SO, IT QUICKLY ESCALATED FROM THERE, MEANING SCHOOLED FROM DISTANCE LEARNING, LEAVING HOME AT A YOUNG AGE. BUT IT WAS ALL-CONSUMING FOR A GOOD PORTION OF MY LIFE.

Steve says DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT? AT 13, YOU KNEW YOU WANTED TO BE AN OLYMPIC ATHLETE?

Deidra says WELL, I HAD THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING THE '88 GAMES AND ELIZABETH IN MY BACKYARD. I GREW UP IN RED DEER. SO, THAT DREAM WAS THERE YOUNG, AND IN RED DEER, WE HAVE A HISTORY OF OLYMPIC ATHLETES. SO, IT WASN'T, UM... IT WAS MORE ABOUT FINDING THE RIGHT SPORT. AND WHEN I FOUND FREESTYLE SKIING, I KNEW THAT I'D ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO THE OLYMPICS, AND THAT SPORT WAS THE ONE THAT SAID THIS IS THE ONE THAT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE.

Steve says SKATING BECAME PART OF YOUR LIFE AT WHAT AGE?

Another guest says THREE.

Steve says THREE? NO KIDDING.

The caption changes to "Elizabeth Manley. Sarajevo 1984 Olympian."

Elizabeth is in her fifties, with long blond hair tied back. She's wearing a blue blazer over a black shirt.

She says AND ACTUALLY, IRONICALLY, THE WAY I GOT INTO SKATING WAS I WAS TIRED OF BEING THE KID SISTER THROWING IN A STREET HOCKEY NET AND PUCKS SHOT AT.

(STEVE LAUGHING)

Elizabeth says SO, MY MISSION IN LIFE WAS NOT REALLY TO BE A FIGURE-SKATER AND TO BE A CHAMPION, BUT TO BE A BETTER SKATER THAN MY BROTHERS, AND THAT'S HOW I PROGRESSED INTO THE SPORT. I WAS ON A MISSION TO BE BETTER THAN MY THREE OLDER BROTHERS.

Steve says AND AT WHAT POINT... SO, THREE, YOU GET INTO IT. AT WHAT POINT DOES IT BECOME ALL-CONSUMING?

Elizabeth says WELL, AT SEVEN, I KNEW I WANTED THE PRETTY, BLING-BLING COSTUME.

Steve says AT SEVEN?

Elizabeth says AT SEVEN I KNEW. AND THEN, BY THE TIME I WAS 10 I WAS COMPETING. AND THAT WAS WHEN I STARTED GETTING THAT REAL ITCH TO WANT TO GO FURTHER AND TO TAKE IT TO A NEW LEVEL. I WAS QUITE YOUNG. I MEAN, BY THE TIME I WAS 14, I WAS TRAVELLING TO EUROPE ON THE INTERNATIONAL TEAM, SO... YOU'RE PRETTY YOUNG, AND I THINK YOU ALL CAN AGREE WITH THAT, THAT WHEN YOU GET INVOLVED IN A SPORT, IT'S... ESPECIALLY IN OUR DAY, YOU TENDED TO BE A LOT YOUNGER THAN SOME OF THE ATHLETES WE SEE TODAY. YOU'RE ON THAT MISSION, AND YOU'RE AT THAT PRETTY YOUNG AGE.

Steve says YOU'RE ALMOST A PRO AS A TEENAGER.

Elizabeth says YEAH. YOU REALLY DO. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S INTERESTING ENOUGH FOR ME? AFTER I TURNED PRO AFTER THE OLYMPICS, MY BEST SKATING CAME OUT WHEN I WAS IN MY 30S, WHICH WAS REALLY WEIRD. LIKE, I THOUGHT, HMM, THAT WAS INTERESTING, YOU KNOW?

Steve says WE'LL FOLLOW UP ON THAT IN A SECOND. CRAIG, HOW ABOUT YOU? SKATING FOR YOU STARTED WHEN?

The caption changes to "Craig Buntin. Torino 2006 Olympian."

Craig is in his thirties, clean-shaven, with short gray hair gelled back. He's wearing a gray blazer over a white shirt.

He says WELL, I WAS, UH... SO, WE MOVED TO KELOWNA, AND I WAS, YOU KNOW, NEW KID IN A SMALL TOWN. EVERYBODY THERE WAS PLAYING HOCKEY, SO I WAS JUST, LIKE, "YOU KNOW WHAT? I BETTER LEARN HOW TO SKATE." SO, GOT ON THE ICE, DID A COUPLE OF, YOU KNOW, LESSONS. DID MY FIRST JUMP IN HOCKEY SKATES.

Steve says HOW OLD?

Craig says I WAS 10.

Steve says OKAY.

Craig says AND AT THAT TIME, IT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, I STARTED... EVERYBODY WAS, LIKE, "OH, WOW. THAT'S KIND OF COOL." AND THEY WERE CROWDING AROUND, WATCHING ME DO THESE JUMPS ON THESE SKATES. AND I WAS, LIKE, "THIS IS IT FOR ME." I WAS HOOKED, REALLY, IN THE FIRST WEEK.

Steve says REALLY? AND AT WHAT POINT DID YOU WANT THE BLING?

(ELIZABETH LAUGHING)

Craig says THE BLING? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THE BLING. I STILL WANT THE BLING! UM, SO, THE, UH... IT WAS WITHIN... HONESTLY, IT WAS WITHIN A COUPLE OF WEEKS. MY MUM GOT HER FIRST BILL, AND SHE BASICALLY SAID, "LOOK. IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING FOR FUN, THERE ARE A HUNDRED SPORTS WE CAN DO. BUT THIS? YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE VERY SERIOUS ABOUT DOING THIS, I'LL SUPPORT YOU 100 PERCENT." AND I WAS 10 YEARS OLD, AND I REMEMBER SITTING AT THE KITCHEN TABLE AND SAID, "I'M GOING TO THE OLYMPICS," AND THAT WAS IT. AND I NEVER TURNED BACK FROM THAT POINT ON.

Steve says THIS IS WHY YOU THREE ARE VERY DIFFERENT FROM THE REST OF US. YOU KNOW, AT A VERY YOUNG AGE, THAT YOU NEED TO BE THE BEST. THAT IS AMAZING. LET'S PUT SOME PICTURES UP, SHALL WE? DEIDRA, I WANT YOU JUST TO TAKE US THROUGH. CAN WE PUT DEIDRA'S PICTURES UP HERE, SHELDON? AND THESE ARE SOME OF... OR MAYBE NOT. YOU'LL LET US KNOW WHETHER THESE ARE SOME OF THE FONDER MOMENTS OF YOUR CAREER OR NOT. WHAT'S THAT?

A picture shows Deidra smiling as she holds her fists up on an ice rink.

Deidra chuckles, then says THAT'S RIGHT AFTER I LANDED A TRICK THAT I'D NEVER LANDED IN COMPETITION. IT HAPPENED TO BE AT THE SALT LAKE CITY OLYMPICS. SO, KIND OF GREAT TIMING FOR THAT TRICK TO HAPPEN, AND I WAS ELATED.

Steve says THAT LOOKS LIKE A PRETTY GOOD SMILE.

Deidra says I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS GOING TO WIN A MEDAL, BUT THAT WAS WHAT IT WAS TO PERFORM AT THAT...

In another picture, Deidra hangs in the air with her feet up, wearing skis, as an audience watches.

Steve says LOOK AT THAT. THAT IS RIDICULOUS, DEIDRA. LOOK AT THAT. YOU'RE UPSIDE DOWN, FOR GOODNESS' SAKES.

Deidra says YEAH, (UNCLEAR).

(EVERYONE LAUGHING)

Deidra says THAT WAS MY PASSION. SO, YEAH. THIS WAS QUITE THE DAY.

Another picture shows Deidra suspended in the air mid-jump, upside down.

Steve says OH, LOOK AT THIS.

Deidra says AND I DID WIN A MEDAL AT THIS PERFORMANCE, BUT I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT THE BEST PART OF THAT DAY WAS LOOKING UP THE HILL. MY COACHES PUT TWO GIRLS ON THE... PUT TWO WOMEN ON THE PODIUM IN THAT EVENT. AND SEEING THEIR TEARS OF JOY, AND LOOKING THE OTHER WAY AND SEEING MOM AND DAD... DAD, LIKE, SWEATING, AND CHAIN-SMOKING A CIGAR JUST IN RELIEF OF WHAT HAD BEEN THE MOST STRESSFUL... IT'S NOT EASY WATCHING YOUR CHILD JUST DO TRIPLE TWISTS AND DOUBLE BACK FLIPS.

Steve says NO KIDDING.

Deidra says AND TO HAVE THAT OUTCOME AND REALIZE THAT, YOU KNOW, THEY TAUGHT ME TO SKI. THEY DROVE ME TO THE SKI HILL. THEY WERE A HUGE PART OF THAT MEDAL, AND AS A TEENAGER, YOU DON'T REALLY SEE THAT BROADER SCOPE OF WHAT A MEDAL MEANS TO...

Steve says AMAZING. ELIZABETH, SHALL WE LOOK AT A FEW PICS FROM YOUR LIFE? GO AHEAD, SHELDON. LET'S BRING UP SOME OF THESE. JUST... DO YOU REMEMBER THAT MOMENT?

In a picture, a young Elizabeth holds a pose in skates, on an ice rink. She wears a bright pink tasseled gown.

Elizabeth says YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T. I'M BEING VERY HONEST. UM, I WAS QUITE SICK IN CALGARY. I HAD THE FLU REALLY BAD, AND I REMEMBER WHEN I FINISHED MY PROGRAM.

In another picture, she wears the same gown and waves as she wears a medal and holds a bouquet.

Elizabeth says AND IT'S JUST LIKE DEIDRA SAID. WHEN I CAME OFF THE ICE, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'D EVER SEEN MY COACHES CRYING. AND I REMEMBER LOOKING AT THEM GOING, "I DID GOOD?" AND IT WAS A BLUR. THE WHOLE NIGHT WAS A BLUR.

In another picture, she bites an Olympic medal.

Elizabeth says AND I REMEMBER TALKING TO MY SPORTS PSYCHOLOGIST AT THE TIME AND I SAID, "WHY CAN I NOT REMEMBER ANYTHING?" AND HE SAID, "YOU GOT INTO THAT ULTIMATE ZONE THAT WE WORK SO HARD TO GET ATHLETES TO AT THAT MOMENT." AND HE SAID, "YOU FOUND IT, YOU DID IT, AND YOU LITERALLY WENT FROM A TO B, AND YOU JUST WENT MECHANICALLY, RIGHT THROUGH THE PROGRAM, LIKE YOU'VE TRAINED FOR FOR ALL THESE YEARS." AND WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU TEND TO FORGET WHAT YOU JUST DID 'CAUSE YOU'VE MOVED ON TO THE NEXT PART.

Steve says WHY DOES EVERYBODY BITE THE MEDAL?

Elizabeth says I WAS THE FIRST ONE.

Steve says COME ON!

Elizabeth says DID YOU KNOW THAT?

Steve says NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

The caption changes to "Elizabeth Manley. Calgary 1988 Silver Medallist."

Elizabeth says I WAS THE VERY FIRST ONE. MY MOTHER, SHE'S... WHEN IT ALL STARTED AFTER THAT, EVERYBODY STARTED, MY MUM USED TO SIT THERE AND GO, "DO THEY KNOW YOU WERE THE FIRST ONE THAT DID THAT?" SO, AND IT WAS A FLUKE. UH, IT WAS A REPORTER WHO SAID, "IS IT REAL SILVER?" AND I SAID, "LET ME CHECK." AND IT WAS A SECOND, AND I BIT THE MEDAL. AND THEN EVERYBODY BITES THEIR MEDALS NOW. ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

Steve says YEAH.

Elizabeth says SO, I'M PROUD TO SAY I WAS THE... I SHOULD'VE PATENTED THAT.

(LAUGHING)

Steve says GOOD FOR YOU. WHAT WERE SOME OF THE FONDEST MOMENTS OF YOUR CAREER?

A picture shows Craig skating as he holds up a female skater.

Craig says SO, I KIND OF HAD TWO CAREERS, RIGHT? I WAS AT, UM, LIKE, A TOP-WORLD LEVEL WITH TWO DIFFERENT PARTNERS, AND I THINK ONE OF...

Steve says OH, MY GOODNESS. HOW DO YOU DO THAT?

Craig says RIGHT NOW, I HAVE NO IDEA. EIGHT YEARS AGO, I PROBABLY COULD'VE BROKEN IT DOWN.

Steve says HOW DO YOU HOLD A HUMAN BEING ABOVE YOUR HEAD ON ONE HAND? LIKE, THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

In another picture, he and his partner hold a leg up each as they skate together.

Craig says WELL, IT WAS A LOT OF TRUST ON HER PART. BUT, UH, SO I MEAN... ONE OF THE FONDEST MOMENTS... SO, THIS IS VALÉRIE MARCOUX. WE WERE THREE-TIME CANADIAN CHAMPIONS AT THIS POINT. WE WERE ONE OF THE TOP-RANKED TEAMS IN THE WORLD ABOUT THREE YEARS PRIOR TO THE GAMES IN VANCOUVER. AND SHE ACTUALLY RETIRED. SHE SAID HER PASSION WAS NO LONGER THERE, AND WE WERE TWO AND A HALF YEARS BEFORE GAMES IN MY HOMETOWN. AND I GOT, UM...

In another picture, a woman spins in the air as Craig holds up his hands waiting to catch her.

Craig says I SAID, "I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES. I'M NOT QUITTING." I GOT IN A CAR. I DROVE ABOUT 3,000 KILOMETRES AROUND NORTH AMERICA LOOKING FOR A NEW PARTNER. AND WITHIN A YEAR, I FOUND WHO IS... ACTUALLY, THE LAST PICTURE THAT WAS UP, MEAGAN DUHAMEL, AND WE... WITHIN ONE YEAR OF COMING, REALLY, FROM NOTHING, YOU KNOW, PUTTING IN 12-HOUR DAYS AND WORKING FROM THE GROUND UP AGAIN, WE MADE IT TO TOP SIX IN THE WORLD. AND THAT WAS SORT OF A BIG MOMENT. IT WASN'T SORT OF A CROWNING ACHIEVEMENT AT A MEDAL LEVEL, BUT WHEN I LOOK BACK AT MY WHOLE CAREER THOSE ARE SORT OF THE THINGS THAT I'M MOST PROUD OF.

Steve says FABULOUS.

He turns to Deidra and says WHY DID YOU RETIRE?

The caption changes to "Deidra Dionne, @deidradionne." Then, it changes again to "Now what?"

Deidra says WELL, I RETIRED AFTER A MEDICAL ISSUE. SO, I WAS AT A TRAINING CAMP ABOUT FIVE MONTHS BEFORE THE VANCOUVER OLYMPICS, AND I WOKE UP IN THE MORNING IN A... IT WAS A LITTLE BIT SCARY, BUT I HAD A HUGE BLACK EYE AND A FAT LIP AND BLOOD ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND ON MY PILLOW. AND KNOWING THAT I WASN'T OUT THE NIGHT BEFORE... I'D HAD A VERY NORMAL TRAINING DAY... UH, WE SPENT A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME IN THE MONTREAL HOSPITAL ON THE NEURAL WARD, AND IT WAS DETERMINED THAT I'D HAD A GRAND MAL SEIZURE OVERNIGHT. SO, IT WAS A SCARY MOMENT WHEN SPORT KIND OF GETS PUT INTO PERSPECTIVE AND YOU LOOK AT YOUR LONG-TERM HEALTH. AND I LOOKED AT IT AS... IT WAS THE FIRST TIME IT HAD HAPPENED IN MY LIFE, AND THE ONLY THING THAT THEY WERE ABLE TO FIND WAS A SMALL, BENIGN, ALMOST BIRTH MARK ON MY BRAIN THAT HAD PROBABLY BEEN THERE SINCE BIRTH. AND IT WAS THE MOMENT THAT I LOOKED AT IT AND SAID, YOU KNOW, MAYBE THIS IS MY BRAIN'S WAY OF SAYING THE RISKS HAVE BEEN A LOT OVER THE YEARS, AND MAYBE IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON AND FIND A DIFFERENT PATH.

Steve says HOW BITTER A PILL WAS THAT FOR YOU TO SWALLOW? 'CAUSE CLEARLY, YOU LEFT THE SPORT BEFORE YOU WANTED TO.

Deidra says IT WAS TOUGH, BUT IN SOME WAYS, I THINK IT WAS EASIER, 'CAUSE THERE WAS NO WAVERING. IT WASN'T THAT, "DO I GO BACK? COULD I BE BETTER? IS THERE SOMETHING THAT I DIDN'T ACHIEVE?" IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON, AND THEN I HAD TO TAKE THAT PATH AND I HAD TO COMMIT TO IT 100 PERCENT, BECAUSE I KNEW THAT THERE WASN'T THAT OPPORTUNITY WHERE I COULD GO BACK AND CONTINUE TO DO FLIPPING AND TWISTING.

Steve says HOW OLD WERE YOU?

Deidra says UH, OH, BOY. UM, I THINK I WAS MID-20S. LIKE, 26.

Steve says 26, AND THE THING THAT YOU BASICALLY HAVE SPENT ALMOST ALL OF YOUR LIFE TRYING TO BE THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT IS OVER. YEAH. AT 26.

Deidra says YEP.

Steve says WHEN MOST PEOPLE ARE STARTING THEIR CAREERS.

Deidra says YEP.

Steve says HOW DO YOU COPE WITH THAT?

Deidra says WELL, IT WAS ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE AT FIRST, YOU'RE SAD. SO, I MOVED, ACTUALLY, TO KELOWNA, WHERE I KNEW THAT I COULD DO ALL THE OUTDOOR THINGS THAT I WANTED TO DO. SO, I BIKED AND I HIKED AND I TRAVELLED, AND I CALLED IT THE EAT, PRAY AND LOVE DEIDRA-STYLE YEAR, WHERE I JUST KIND OF DID ALL THESE THINGS TO MAKE MY HEART HAPPY. AND THERE WERE MOMENTS THAT WEREN'T WONDERFUL, BUT I HAD THAT YEAR TO SPEND SOME TIME FIGURING, OKAY. WHAT DO I LOVE TO DO? AND IT TOOK ME THAT AMOUNT OF TIME TO REALIZE, OKAY. IT WASN'T JUST MY SPORT I LOVED. IT WAS BREAKING DOWN SOME OF THOSE ATTRIBUTES OF MY SPORT. THE ACHIEVEMENT, THE GOAL-SETTING, THE SMALL LITTLE DETAILS THAT ACTUALLY MADE ME FEEL HAPPY IN LIFE, WERE ALWAYS RELATED TO THE PERFORMANCE, OR THE UPS AND DOWNS OF AERIAL SKIING. AND TAKING THOSE THINGS THAT I WORK FOR IN SPORT AND THAT I LOVED IN SPORT, AND THEN TRYING TO FIND WAYS THAT I COULD RECREATE THEM IN MY LIFE. AND WHAT I LEARNED WAS, NOT ALL OF THOSE THINGS ARE FOUND IN ONE THING. SO, IT TOOK ME GOING BROADER AND SAYING, "OKAY. WELL, I LOVE THE FEELING OF EXERTION." SO, I MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT FITNESS IS ALWAYS PART OF MY LIFE. AND I LOVE ACHIEVEMENT. SO, THAT MIGHT COME ACADEMICALLY. IT MIGHT COME IN DIFFERENT WAYS. SO, KIND OF BREAKING IT DOWN TO OUTSIDE OF WHAT I WAS GETTING FROM MY SPORT INTO SMALLER PIECES THAT WERE ABLE TO BE RECREATED IN LIFE.

Steve says GOT YOU. CRAIG, AFT... TAKE US TO THE MOMENT WHEN YOU MADE THE DECISION TO RETIRE.

The caption changes to "Craig Buntin. Sportlogiq."

Craig says SO, IT WAS... I MEAN, THERE'S A FEW REASONS THAT ATHLETES RETIRE, AND I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO BE OF THE TYPE OF ATHLETE THAT RETIRED... IT WAS PLANNED. I WAS 29 YEARS OLD. IT WAS... THAT SEASON, WE HAD OUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT AND OUR WORST FAILURE. IT WAS AT THE END OF THAT YEAR I WAS RETIRING. UM, PAIR SKATERS TEND TO RETIRE IN AND AROUND THAT AGE. AND SO, FOR ME IT WAS A... I WAS READY. UM, READY PHYSICALLY. UH, BUT I MEAN, COMING OUT OF THAT, I HAD TRIED TO SET UP, YOU KNOW, A PLAN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE COMING OUT OF SPORT. I HAD STARTED A SMALL COMPANY AT THE TIME, AND I WAS KIND OF JUST STARTING TO GET THAT OFF THE GROUND. I KIND OF HAD SOME IDEA OF WHERE I WANTED TO GO, BUT ULTIMATELY, I MEAN, EVEN WITH KNOWING THAT I WAS GOING TO RETIRE THAT YEAR, I MEAN, YOU SPEND YOUR LAST TWO YEARS TRAINING FOR THE OLYMPICS. SO, THE NUMBER OF NEW THINGS THAT YOU'RE PICKING UP IN THAT LAST YEAR OR TWO YEARS IS, YOU KNOW... IT TENDS TO BE SECONDARY. SO, I MEAN, I CAME OUT OF SPORT REALLY JUST, UM, LOST, ALONE, NOT QUITE KNOWING WHAT I WAS GOING TO DO NEXT. REALLY. I MEAN, I'D BEEN OUT OF SCHOOL FOR 12 YEARS. IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT TO GO INTO SORT OF THE CORPORATE WORLD. IT DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT TO GET A NORMAL JOB OR BE IN A NORMAL SOCIAL SETTING.

Steve says SO, HOW'D YOU FIGURE ALL THAT OUT? HOW DID YOU FIGURE OUT THE PATH AHEAD?

Craig says ITERATIVELY, I THINK WOULD BE THE SUMMARY. I WAS FORTUNATE ENOUGH THAT, UM, AS I WAS KIND OF MOVING FORWARD WITH THIS COMPANY, I REALIZED I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT BUSINESS. I DECIDED TO TRY TO SIGN UP FOR A COUPLE OF NIGHT COURSES AT MCGILL, AND HAPPENED TO MEET SOMEBODY WHO KNEW SOMEBODY WHO KNEW SOMEBODY WHO HAD SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU TRY APPLYING FOR THE MBA PROGRAM AT MCGILL?" AGAIN, I'D BEEN OUT OF SCHOOL FOR 12 YEARS, SO, I'M THINKING, WELL, NO. AND THEY SAID, "WELL, YOU KNOW, WE DO MAKE SOME EXCEPTIONS, SO MAYBE TRY DOING THE GMAT AND PUTTING THE APPLICATION IN." I DID. I ENDED UP GETTING IN, AND I FOUND OUT ONLY LATER THAT I WAS ACTUALLY THE FIRST STUDENT THAT THEY'D EVER MADE AN EXCEPTION FOR. AND SO THIS IS, YOU KNOW, I SAY "ITERATIVELY." BECAUSE IT WAS A GOOD, SOLID FOUR OR FIVE YEARS BEFORE I REALLY KIND OF STARTED FEELING NORMAL OUTSIDE OF SPORT.

Steve says TRIAL AND ERROR ALL THE WAY.

Craig says WELL, THAT'S IT. I MEAN, YOU... YOU KNOW, SPORT ISN'T SOMETHING YOU DO; IT'S WHO YOU ARE. AND I WAS CRAIG THE SKATER. THAT WAS IT. AND SO, LEARNING TO DO NORMAL THINGS OUTSIDE OF THE... OUTSIDE OF SPORT, AND LEARNING TO BE AROUND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ATHLETES, THIS IS ALL... I MEAN, IT SEEMS KIND OF STUPID, BUT IT REALLY IS A BIG THING.

Steve says TAKE US TO THE MOMENT WHEN YOU DECIDED YOU WERE NO LONGER GOING TO BE THAT WORLD-CLASS ATHLETE, CHASING THE BLING, AND THE NEXT CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE. HOW DID IT BEGIN?

The caption changes to "Elizabeth Manley, @Lizmanley88."

Elizabeth says WELL, IT WAS INTERESTING, BECAUSE WHEN I WON THE MEDAL IN CALGARY, I HAD A LOT OF MIXED EMOTIONS. WE HAD NO MONEY. MY FAMILY WAS VERY POOR. WE... I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME "WHY DID YOU RETIRE," AND WE WERE POOR.

Steve says YOU HAD TO MAKE SOME MONEY.

Elizabeth says YEAH. WE LITERALLY JUST COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE EXPENSE OF THE SPORT, AND BACK IN THE '80S, THERE WASN'T A LOT OF SPONSORSHIPS THAT YOU SEE TODAY FOR THE ATHLETES. AND I REMEMBER GETTING THE CALL ASKING ME, THAT I SHOULD TAKE THE MEDAL AND RUN AND RETIRE AND MOVE INTO A SHOW CAREER. AND I REMEMBER FEELING REALLY HURT BY THAT COMMENT. BECAUSE THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS WERE GOING TO BE A MONTH LATER, AFTER THE OLYMPICS, AND I... THERE WAS A SIDE OF ME THAT FELT LIKE I JUST DID THIS, AND YOU STILL FEEL THAT I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO IT AGAIN. AND THERE WAS A LACK OF CONFIDENCE IN ME. AND I REALLY KIND OF GOT ANGRY AND I SAID, "NO. I'M GOING TO WORLDS, AND I'M GOING TO PROVE TO EVERYBODY THAT CALGARY WASN'T A FLUKE AND I CAN DO THIS AGAIN." AND SO FORTH, AND LUCKILY, I DID. (LAUGHING) YOU KNOW? LUCKILY, I GOT THE SILVER AGAIN. BUT THAT... IT'S LIKE CRAIG SAID. AS A FIGURE SKATER, WE WERE BLESSED TO BE IN A SPORT THAT WE HAVE A LIFE AFTER SPORT. AND WHAT I MEAN BY THAT IS WE HAVE A SHOW CAREER. WE HAVE A PROFESSIONAL SIDE OF IT. A LOT OF, YOU KNOW, SPORTS THAT ARE SKIING AND THINGS, THEY DON'T HAVE A PROFESSIONAL SIDE TO IT. HOCKEY PLAYERS DO. FIGURE SKATERS DO. AND I KNEW THAT WITH THE DEBT THAT WE HAD INCURRED AS A FAMILY TO KEEP ME IN SUCH AN EXPENSIVE SPORT, AND THE AMOUNT OF TRAVELLING AND THE COSTUMES AND THE SKATES AND EVERYTHING THAT WAS A COST, I KNEW IT WAS TIME THAT I HAD TO GET OUT THERE AND TRY TO GET A JOB AS A PRO. AND I WAS IN A PRIME POSITION TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT, SO THAT'S WHAT I DID.

The caption changes to "Connect with us: @theagenda, TVO.org, Facebook, YouTube, Periscope, Instagram."

Steve says WE HAVE THREE STORIES HERE, ROLF, OF DIFFERENT REASONS WHY PEOPLE RETIRED AND HOW THEY MAKE THE TRANSITION TO THE NEXT CAREER.

Rolf says ABSOLUTELY.

Steve says TELL US ABOUT... YOU'VE GOT, OBVIOUSLY, A MUCH BROADER EXPERIENCE DEALING WITH MANY ATHLETES IN ALL OF THIS.

Rolf says SURE.

Steve says WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST PSYCHOLOGICAL HURDLES THEY HAVE TO OVERCOME WHEN THEY HANG IT UP?

Rolf says I MEAN, IT REALLY RUNS THE GAMUT. PSYCHOLOGICALLY, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT... YOU KNOW, THERE'S THAT WHOLE SENSE OF IDENTITY. YOU KNOW, "WHO AM I, IF NOT FOR SPORT?" UM, YOU KNOW, NOT ONLY THAT, BUT THINK ABOUT THE SOCIAL CIRCLE THAT YOU HAVE ALL DEVELOPED THROUGH YOUR SPORT. AND YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS I SEE VERY OFTEN IS ATHLETES WHO, YOU KNOW, THEIR SOCIAL CIRCLE IS EXCLUSIVELY MADE UP OF PEOPLE IN SPORT. AND SO, WHEN THEY CHOOSE TO RETIRE, NOW YOU'RE REMOVING ALL OF THAT. ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS THAT THEY SAW EVERY DAY ARE NO LONGER THERE. ALL OF THEIR MENTORS, OR PEOPLE THAT THEY LOOKED UP TO, WHETHER THEY WERE COACHES OR TECHNICAL DIRECTORS, WHAT HAVE YOU, ARE NO LONGER THERE. THEY DON'T KNOW WHO TO ASK QUESTIONS OF, AND THAT IN AND OF ITSELF CAN BE EXTREMELY DISORIENTING AND KIND OF ISOLATING, LIKE CRAIG WAS TALKING ABOUT. SOMETIMES, IT'S THE MOST MUNDANE, PRACTICAL ISSUES THAT KIND OF CATCH ATHLETES OFF GUARD. I WAS WORKING WITH AN ATHLETE ABOUT A YEAR AGO, AND YOU KNOW, SHE HAD ADMITTEDLY DONE SOME GREAT WORK IN TERMS OF PLANNING HER NEXT STEPS. SHE WAS GOING TO SCHOOL. BUT SHE CAME TO ME AND SAID, "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EAT LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING."

NAM SAYS WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

The caption changes to "Rolf Wagschal, @doc_rolf." Then, it changes again to "Watch us on Facebook Live: Weekdays at 8 PM."

Rolf says SO, SHE'S... AS A HIGH-PERFORMANCE ATHLETE, SHE'S USED TO EATING 10,000 CALORIES A DAY AND THAT'S HER NORMAL. SO, YOU KNOW, SHE WOULD WALK INTO THE KITCHEN AND SAY, "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A MEAL THAT WILL NOT CAUSE MY BODY TO GO THROUGH SOME DRASTIC CHANGES BECAUSE MY TRAINING LOAD HAS SIGNIFICANTLY DECREASED." AND THAT WAS SOMETHING THAT, YOU KNOW, NOT A LOT OF ATHLETES ANTICIPATE, BUT IT'S A SIGNIFICANT THING, YOU KNOW? AND THE OTHER THING IS, "HOW DO I GO TO THE GYM FOR FITNESS," LIKE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT, INSTEAD OF TO CONTINUE GETTING TO THAT "FASTER, STRONGER, BETTER" IDEAL THAT THE OLYMPICS OR PARALYMPICS OBVIOUSLY, YOU KNOW, TRIES TO UPHOLD. SO, IT'S THOSE LITTLE THINGS THAT KIND OF CATCH YOU OFF GUARD THAT YOU WEREN'T EVEN EXPECTING THAT CAN BE REALLY DISORIENTING. BUT CERTAINLY, THAT'S ONE OF THE AREAS THAT I TRY AND PROVIDE SOME SUPPORT AND CONNECT THE ATHLETES INTO THE NETWORK THAT WE HAVE WITHIN THE CANADIAN SPORT INSTITUTE IN TERMS OF MY CO-WORKERS: THE NUTRITIONISTS, THE STRENGTH COACHES THAT I WORK ALONGSIDE OF, TO HELP GET THEM SOME OF THAT DE-TRAINING SUPPORT, ALONGSIDE OF SOME OF THE COUNSELLING SUPPORT THAT I'M ABLE TO PROVIDE.

Steve says YOU HAD A BIG SMILE ON YOUR FACE WHEN HE MENTIONED THE FOOD, AND NOT REMEMBERING HOW TO EAT.

Deidra says I WAS LAUGHING 'CAUSE, LIKE, FIGURE SKATING AND FREESTYLE SKIING, WE NEVER CONSUMED 10,000 CALORIES A DAY, UNFORTUNATELY. SO, UH...

Rolf says SO, THIS WAS A MORE AEROBIC ATHLETE, OBVIOUSLY.

Deidra says YEAH, YEAH.

(EVERYONE LAUGHING)

Rolf says I WAS GOING TO...

Deidra says YEAH.

Rolf says BUT EVEN, YOU KNOW, THINK ABOUT THE GYM SESSIONS THAT YOU'D GO TO.

Deidra says YEAH.

Rolf says YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SPENDING TWO, THREE HOURS IN THE GYM, SOMETIMES TWICE A DAY.

Deidra says YEAH.

Steve says THAT'S NOT YOUR AVERAGE GOODLIFE PARTICIPANT.

(EVERYONE LAUGHING)

Deidra says AND I WANTED TO WORK OUT FOR FUN.

Elizabeth says WELL, YEAH. AND ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I FIND IS AT MY AGE NOW, AND BEING THE BEST OF THE BEST IN MY SPORT, I GO TO A GYM NOW AND I WANT TO SEE INSTANT RESULTS, LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A COMPETITOR. YOU KNOW? I WAS RIPPED. I HAD A 12-PACK. AND YOU KNOW, NOW I GO TO THE GYM AND I'M, LIKE... I'VE BEEN IN THERE A MONTH AND I'M, LIKE, "HELL, WHERE IS EVERYTHING?" YOU KNOW? AND IT'S... THAT IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL THING, BECAUSE PEOPLE LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THAT ATHLETE ALL THE TIME.

Steve says WELL, YOU'RE... THAT IMAGE OF YOU BITING THE MEDAL IS IN OUR MINDS.

Elizabeth says YEAH, YEAH. EXACTLY. AND I HAVE FOUND IT VERY... WHEN I WAS ON THE ROAD AND I WAS TOURING AND I WAS DOING SHOWS AND EVERYTHING, I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO PUT THE FOUR HOURS IN THE GYM AND ALL THE STUFF THAT I COULD DO AS AN ATHLETE. SO, IT WAS HARDER FOR ME. EATING OUT OF HOLIDAY INNS, IT... PSYCHOLOGICALLY, IT... AND I HAD... LIKE YOU SAID, I HAD NO ONE THERE WITH ME. I DIDN'T HAVE MY COACHES, MY PARENTS, MY SUPPORT FACTOR. I WAS SITTING IN A HOLIDAY INN IN BUTTE, MONTANA, CRYING, BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO. I DIDN'T HAVE ANYONE TO BE THERE. AND YOU KNOW, PRIOR TO OLYMPICS, I HAD GONE THROUGH A DEPRESSION, AND I HAD GOTTEN... YOU KNOW, CAME OUT OF THAT, BUT THEN I FOUND TWO YEARS AFTER PRO... THE GREATEST TIME OF MY LIFE, IT SHOULD'VE BEEN. I FOUND MYSELF RIGHT BACK IN THAT PLACE AGAIN, AND IT'S SCARY.

Steve says AT WHAT POINT DID YOU START TO THINK OF YOURSELF AS, OKAY, I'M NOW HAPPILY ENSCONCED IN THE NEXT PHASE OF MY LIFE?

(LAUGHING)

Steve says YOUR NORMAL.

The caption changes to "Craig Buntin, @craigbuntin." Then, it changes again to "A new game plan."

Craig says YEAH. SEE, I DON'T KNOW. SO, FOR ME, I KIND OF... I'M GOING TO SAY FOUR OR MAYBE FIVE-ISH YEARS AFTER RETIRING, I STARTED FINDING BALANCE, WHICH IS PROBABLY THE CLOSEST SEMBLANCE I COULD SAY TO WHAT YOU JUST DESCRIBED. BECAUSE IT WAS... THE FUNNIEST THING WAS... YOU KNOW, I GOT OUT OF SPORT AND I WAS JUST, LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT? SET MY NEXT TARGET. 20 YEARS. LET'S GO. AND I JUST... I WENT... IT WAS LIKE SOMEBODY HAD A SLINGSHOT, YOU KNOW? POW! LET GO, AND OFF I RAN. AND I WAS PUTTING IN, I MEAN, 18-, 19-HOUR DAYS, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. I WAS PULLING AN ALL-NIGHTER AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK THROUGHOUT SCHOOL WHILE BUILDING THE COMPANY. IT WAS JUST, LIKE, GO, GO, GO, AND I JUST BURNED OUT. I GOT TO MY LAST SEMESTER OF SCHOOL AND I WAS DONE, YOU KNOW? I WAS... YOU KNOW, THE FUNNY THING WITH SPORT IS YOU CAN TRAIN LIKE THAT. YOU CAN GO CRAZY AND FOCUS AND GET WHAT YOU NEED DONE. BUT WITHIN WHAT? SIX HOURS? FOUR OR FIVE HOURS A DAY, MAYBE, BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY SO THAT YOU CAN DO IT AGAIN THE NEXT DAY.

Steve says I WANT TO FIND OUT FROM YOU, ROLF, WHEN A HIGH-PERFORMANCE ATHLETE COMES TO YOU AND SAYS, "THAT MOMENT, WHEN I WAS ON THE PODIUM, CHEWING MY MEDAL, WAS THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE, AND I KNOW IT WILL BE THE GREATEST MOMENT, EVER, IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW I FIND MEANING IN THE REST OF MY LIFE WHEN I KNOW THERE WILL NEVER BE A MOMENT LIKE THAT AGAIN."

Rolf says YEAH. IT'S ACTUALLY SURPRISING HOW FEW POINT TO THAT SPECIFIC MOMENT AS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THEIR LIVES. IT IS CERTAINLY UP THERE, BUT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS. YOU KNOW, JUST GETTING TO THAT, TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY WERE ABLE TO PERFORM, I FIND, FOR A LOT OF ATHLETES, IS WHAT THEY'RE MOST PROUD OF. YOU KNOW, PUTTING THEMSELVES IN THE POSITION TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. THE FACT THAT THEY GOT THE PAYOFF, OBVIOUSLY, IS GREAT. BUT I MEAN, WHAT DO I TELL THEM WHEN THEY SAY, "HOW DO I CAPTURE THAT AGAIN"? YOU KNOW, A LOT OF IT REALLY JUST COMES DOWN TO KIND OF WHAT DEIDRA WAS TALKING ABOUT EARLIER. YOU KNOW, TALKING ABOUT WHAT IS IT THAT YOU VALUE. WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS THAT YOU ENJOY, THAT YOU'RE PASSIONATE ABOUT?

Steve says BUT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO THEM AT SOME POINT, "LOOKIT. YOUR NEXT LIFE IS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT"?

Rolf says SURE.

Steve says YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO HAVE A MOMENT LIKE THAT AGAIN. IS IT THAT BLUNT?

Rolf says WELL, I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S NECESSARILY ABOUT SAYING... NO, BECAUSE WHO'S TO SAY... YOU KNOW, LET'S SAY CRAIG KNOCKS HIS BUSINESS OUT OF THE PARK. WHO'S TO SAY THAT... LET'S SAY HE GETS TO THE POINT, SELLS HIS BUSINESS. YOU KNOW, HE'S THE NEXT MARK CUBAN. WHO'S TO SAY THAT THAT MOMENT WON'T BE... YOU KNOW, WON'T OVERSHADOW HIS OLYMPIC EXPERIENCE? SO...

Steve says WELL, LET'S FIND OUT. IF YOU GO PUBLIC AND YOU MAKE A FORTUNE...

Craig says WELL, I MEAN, FIRST OFF, WE ARE KILLING IT. MARK CUBAN IS ONE OF OUR INVESTORS.

Steve says ALL RIGHT.

Craig says SO, YEAH. WE, UM... WE'RE DOING VERY WELL, BUT I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING. I MEAN, I CAME HOME THE OTHER DAY, AND I'VE GOT A LITTLE TWO-YEAR-OLD SON WHO CAME RUNNING DOWN THE HALLWAY: "DADDY!" AND THAT MIGHT'VE BEEN ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE, RIGHT? AND SO, IT DOES GET BETTER. THERE ARE AMAZING THINGS THAT HAPPEN. IT'S CERTAINLY DIFFERENT, BUT YEAH. IT'S... I MEAN...

Steve says AND YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT REPLICATING THE HIGHS OF YOUR PREVIOUS CAREER?

Elizabeth says I THINK INITIALLY, WE DO. YOU DO INITIALLY?

Rolf says AND THAT'S...

Elizabeth says I THINK WE'RE SEARCHING FOR IT. WHEN YOU COME OFF THE COMPETITION JOURNEY, AND THE SUCCESS AND EVERYTHING THAT COMES WITH COMPETING AND THE HOURS, I THINK WE'RE ALL GUILTY THAT WE'RE SEARCHING, AND WE MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES 'CAUSE WE'RE LOOKING FOR THAT HIGH AGAIN. WE'RE LOOKING FOR THAT "DON'T FORGET WHO I AM." YOU KNOW, WE'RE SO AFRAID PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FORGET US. BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN ON THE WORLD SCENE. WE'VE BEEN IN THE LIMELIGHT FOR SO LONG, AND THERE'S THAT DESPERATION. BUT I THINK IT DOES GET TO A POINT WHERE YOU REALIZE IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

Steve says DON'T YOU FIND, THOUGH... I MEAN, IN YOUR CASE, NO ONE'S FORGOTTEN YOU. ANYBODY WHO WAS ALIVE TO HAVE WATCHED THOSE OLYMPICS IN CALGARY, THEY REMEMBER YOU. OF COURSE THEY DO. OF COURSE THEY DO.

Elizabeth says WELL, IT MEANS A LOT TO HEAR THAT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GOING TO BE REALLY HONEST IF WE'RE BEING VERY OPEN HERE. EVERY OLYMPICS THAT HAPPENS ON TV, I CRY. I MISS IT. I MISS IT. I CRY. AND YOU KNOW, THE OLYMPICS JUST NOW IN KOREA, AND I SAW EVERYBODY THERE. I SEE BRIAN ORSER, OUR COACH. I SEE ALL THESE FRIENDS. AND AS AN ATHLETE, YOU HAVE THAT EMOTIONAL... AND YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, 'CAUSE I HAVE MY FAMILY SAY TO ME, "HOW ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW," YOU KNOW? AND I FEEL OLD. LIKE, I MISS IT. AND YOU KNOW, THERE'S THAT LITTLE BIT OF A SADNESS.

Deidra says DON'T YOU THINK THAT THEY REMEMBER YOU, BUT THEY ONLY KNOW YOU FOR ONE MOMENT? ONE SHOT IN TIME...

Elizabeth says AND THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE GRASPING...

Deidra says AND IT'S A SNAPSHOT. IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU WORKED HARDER OR THAT YOU DID EVERYTHING BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE. LIKE, THERE'S SOME COMPONENTS OF THAT, BUT IT'S A DAY THAT IT CAME TOGETHER FOR YOU AND MAYBE IT DIDN'T COME TOGETHER FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. YEAH, AND IT HAPPENS ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS. AND IN A SPORT LIKE MINE, IT LASTS THREE SECONDS LONG. SO, TO KNOW THAT YOU STOOD ON THAT PODIUM IS A PROUD MOMENT, BUT YOU KNOW, I THINK MOST ATHLETES WOULD SAY THEY'RE PROUD OF WHEN THEY GOT UP AT 6:00 IN THE MORNING TO DO SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T WANT TO DO.

The clips end and Nam stands in the studio alone.

She says AND THAT'S IT FOR TONIGHT'S AGENDA IN THE SUMMER. TOMORROW, WE CONTINUE RECALLING MEMORABLE CONVERSATIONS WITH A 2017 DISCUSSION ABOUT WHAT ROLES, IN FILM AND BEYOND, EXIST FOR BLACK MEN, AND WHAT IT SAYS ABOUT MASCULINITY. I'M NAM KIWANUKA. THANKS FOR WATCHING TVO AND FOR JOINING US ONLINE AT TVO.ORG, AND WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN TOMORROW.

The announcer says THE AGENDA IN THE SUMMER WITH NAM KIWANUKA IS MADE POSSIBLE THROUGH GENEROUS PHILANTHROPIC CONTRIBUTIONS FROM VIEWERS LIKE YOU. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING TVO'S JOURNALISM.

Music plays as the end credits roll.

Logos: Unifor Local 72M. Canadian Media Guild.

Copyright The Ontario Educational Communications Authority 2021.

Watch: Finding Meaning After Sporting Glory