I'm 16 years old and my mother died this past May, so I am a daughter without a mother.  I'm constantly writing in my journal, but there is one piece of writing that means so much more to me.  My mother died the day before Mother's Day, which was on Sunday, May 11.  My sister was leaving for Cuba on the Friday before Mother's Day and decided to give her a present earlier.  I had decided to do the same as well.  I wrote a letter for my mom and framed it, and in this letter I just wrote down everything that I felt about her: how much I loved her, how much I needed her, and how much of a great person she was.  This letter brought her to tears, and the only other time I saw my mom cry was when her father died.  The ironic thing is that when she finished reading it, she said to me, "When I die, I want you to put this across my chest at my funeral."  I never thought that a couple days later I would have to.  

Jani's letter

Dear Mom,

I didn’t want to buy you a card that said nothing that I felt.  And I didn’t want to give you something that someone else wrote instead, so I decided to spill out my heart on this little piece of paper.  I hope you realize that it took a lot of strength to do, but at the same time remember that you are most definitely worth it too. I didn’t really know how to write down everything that I felt, but I believe you know what I’m thinking here inside my head.  

I love you…so much; I hope you know that I really truly do.  You have been there for me every single day, hour, and minute of my life, and there is no way that I could ever repay you.  All that I can do is to love you in return, but I doubt that it will ever amount to the love that you have shown me.

You are my best friend, and don’t think for a second that that will change since I’m slowly getting older; it’s impossible to do.  You are the only person who understands me, and that makes me love you so much more.  Mommy, you never rejected me for a certain way that I was.  You took my flaws, embraced them and glorified them as much as you possibly could, and made me slowly start to love myself, so it was not only you.  

I appreciate how you do so much for me and never think twice about it. You put everyone else before you (even though I think you shouldn’t).  But I think I know the reason why you do all of this for us.  It is not because you were raised to or that you’re trying to do right instead of wrong; it’s because you’re just that type of person and I hope that you always are.  You’re amazing in every single way and you have a heart of gold.  You have something that everybody else wants, and that’s a perfect soul.  This is why I love you so and I always want you by my side.  And remember; there’s one thing that I’m sure of that will always stay the same; you’re my loving mommy and I’m your baby, Jani.
 
Love Jani
May 7, 2008