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Wired Kids: Where They Go Wrong

Kids today socialize online, they research online and they play online. In many ways, the online world has replaced the playground. But, like in the playground, online kids can get hurt and hurt each other. That’s why kids need to think before they act online.

“We really want to encourage young people to think about the importance of being ethical and responsible online citizens,” says Jane Tallim, Co-Executive Director of the Media Awareness Network.

Part of being ethical online citizens means kids, and their parents, need to understand how the Internet works and know its strengths, weaknesses and consequences.

Sergeant Robyn MacEachern from the Ontario Provincial Police lists the following mistakes kids make when navigating online:

Insecure passwords: Kids choose passwords they can remember rather than passwords that are secure. The most common password used among second and third graders is their pet's name and they often share their passwords with their friends. As a result, kids accounts are easily hacked into and can be used for identity theft or bullying.

The solution is easy. Have your child write down a random sentence. Take the first letter of each word in the sentence and stick a number on the end. For instance, if your child writes “I like peanut butter,” take ILPB and add any number to the end, like 9. So their new password would be ILPB9. A random password like this would be very difficult to hack.

After a new password is chosen, make sure your child knows not to share their password with anyone, not even a best friend.
Too much information: Kids are posting too much information about themselves online. Any tiny bit of information, even a postal code, can identify your child’s location to a predator. A picture of your son’s hockey team can tell a predator where your son plays hockey and when. Experts estimate that predators spend 18 hours a day online searching for targets. Don’t make it easy for them to find your child.

Do not allow your child to fill out any personal information on social networking sites. Do not tag pictures using full names that can be searched. Do not post pictures that show identifying information like the name of the school on a football jersey. Better yet, do not post pictures at all.

Monitor who they allow as online friends and check the privacy settings to make sure the profile can only be seen by friends. Make sure the social networking site is age-appropriate. Or, create a family page that the whole family can participate in.
The Internet is make-believe: Kids have a tendency to believe that what happens online can not affect them in the real world. Because they see the online world and the real world as separate they will say and do things that are out of character. They also believe that emails and chats are private. They couldn’t be more wrong.

Make sure your children understand that whatever they post online will follow them for the rest of their lives. A funny picture that they post when they’re 13 might not be that funny at 23 when a potential employer sees it.

Nothing they send or write in email is private and sending provocative pictures to a friend can bring a charge of distributing child pornography. Typing a mean comment in MSN from their bedroom can get your child expelled from school for bullying or even charged with a crime. The Internet is real and the consequences are real.
Using a web cam: Web cams are the most dangerous tool of exploitation. Predators can hack into a web cam very easily even when you’re not using it. If you have one, get rid of it or unplug it and put it away when not in use. If that’s not possible, put a piece of black tape over the camera lens. Do not let your children use the web cam.

Here are some more tips on helping your kids stay safe and ethical online:

Get to know the medium. Many parents don’t know what their kids are doing online because they don’t know how the Internet works. For more help, try bewebaware.ca. The Media Awareness Network created the site to help parents navigate the online world.
Keep the computer in the kitchen, family room, or living room so you can monitor your child’s online activities.
If your children are younger, always sit with them while they are online.
Visit your child's favorite sites frequently. Knowing what they like will open the lines of communication.
Make sure you know how to spot the signs of cyber bullying, and learn what to do if your child is being cyber bullied.
Make teaching the online rules fun by playing Firewall! on TVOKids.com.
Teach your children to ask themselves these questions before they post anything online: Will it hurt someone? Would I like it if someone did it to me? Would I be proud of myself if everyone saw this?
Make sure your children know that although they can feel anonymous, nobody is ever anonymous online. What they say and do can be traced back to them.
Ask your school if they hold workshops run by the Media Awareness Network to teach parents and teachers about the Internet, cyber bullying and online safety. If your school doesn’t hold them, suggest it to the principal.
Have your children sign a contract outlining the rules for online use in your family. Tell your children that technology is a privilege, not a right, and if they want to use it, they have to adhere to the rules.
Think before you punish and take away the technology. Ninety-two percent of kids say they would not tell their parents if something went wrong online because they are afraid their parents will take the computer away. Avoid freaking out about what they are doing. Instead, listen to what they are saying.

Remember that the Internet is not all doom and gloom.

“The key as parents and educators that we teach ourselves and our kids about all the amazing, positive things that people can get involved in online,” says Tallim. “The proof is that every day kids are using the internet in ethical and positive ways. On a daily basis kids are connecting with friends and family, they’re engaging in online communities, and they are pursuing causes.”

For a good example, check out the youth-formed and youth-driven TakingITGlobal.

If you encourage ethical and critical use of the Internet, it can be a healthy and educational addition to your family’s life.

Want more? TVOParents has many resources to help your wired kids. Or, for more suggestions and great videos to watch with your kids, go to the police created and maintained Internet101.