Talking to Kids about HIV/AIDS

Why talk about HIV/AIDS?

HIV/AIDS is a disease that is a serious issue in Canada and for many people around the world. Kids may have heard about HIV or AIDS from the media, adults or their friends. Research shows that as many as 93% of children have heard about the disease by grade three.

There are plenty of misconceptions and myths surrounding HIV/AIDS. For this reason, it's important for parents, teachers, public health workers and other trusted adults to help young people acquire a better understanding of HIV/AIDS and of the experience of people living with HIV/AIDS.

As World AIDS Day is recognized on December 1st every year, parents can equip themselves for teachable moments with their kids. Keep in mind that as parents, you know your kid best, and will recognize their "readiness" for talking about issues surrounding HIV/AIDS like sexuality and drug use.

This understanding will empower kids with the skills they need to make healthy decisions, know what healthy relationships are, and get them involved in addressing the stigma and discrimination the surrounds HIV/AIDS, so that they can treat those living with HIV/AIDS with compassion.

For basic facts about HIV/AIDS click here.

For resources on talking to kids about death and the Your Voice program on grief counselling, click here.

What does HIV/AIDS mean to your children?

The Teresa Group’s Simone Shindler says in grades five and six, children are reaching puberty and becoming conscious of their sexuality. This means they’re becoming increasingly conscious of AIDS. However, Shindler says, children are not being educated well. Schools are telling students the facts about AIDS, but not teaching students empathy or sensitivity when approaching the topic.

There’s a myth that AIDS is “dirty”, Shindler says. "People run from those who have it because there’s still a fear. There’s a belief that somebody did something wrong to get HIV or AIDS. As well, people believe that their schools are not affected by HIV or AIDS."

She says kids are the ones who should be educated and sensitized, because it’s not going away. "HIV and AIDS will be with us for generations."

The Teresa Group has published books to share the stories of children who are living with HIV or AIDS. In Bye-bye Secrets and Hopes, Wishes and Dreams, children living with HIV and AIDS share their experiences. Shindler reports that these kids were empowered by the opportunity to express themselves through their writing and art.

The books were published to educate and support families, teachers and health-care workers. As well, they were published to help decrease stigma and to sensitize children and educators to the impact of HIV/AIDS on families.

Starting a Conversation

It may not be easy to talk with kids about HIV and AIDS. But they need to be informed because HIV/AIDS affects us all. With accurate information, you can address questions, reduce fears, correct misinformation, and help kids make healthier choices.

When talking to kids, you may need to cover topics related to sex and drug use. But by talking with kids about sensitive topics, you demonstrate that you care about their health and happiness. Take the lead, start a relaxed conversation and try to make kids comfortable.

In Talking to Kids about HIV/AIDS, experts suggest that you learn as much as you can before talking with children.

• Use age-appropriate language and ideas to make sure they understand. For basic facts about HIV/AIDS click here.
• Ask for opinions, not personal information.
• A conversation is a two-way street. Be willing to answer questions yourself, and always be honest.
• Don’t feel that you have to have all the answers; just let them know you’ll find out, or offer to find the answer with them.
• Do not assume your opinion is the only valid one. Accept that a child or youth may have different ideas than you.
• Don’t be afraid to admit that your are embarrassed, but be sure to tell your child you want to talk anyway.
• Focus on providing factual information – kids respond well to proven information that is free from judgments.
• Once you have talked, let them know you’re always available if they want to talk more, or have more questions.
• Let them know where they can get more information and give them guidance about assessing what sources of information are reliable.

When should you talk to kids about HIV/AIDS?

It is up to you as an adult to gauge what facts kids will be able to understand about HIV/AIDS, and what kind of information they need to know.

Keep in mind that several “little talks” will be more effective than just one “big talk.” It’s also important to remember that kids of all ages can benefit from conversations about healthy relationships and the importance of self-respect. The following information from Talking to Kids about HIV/AIDS is meant as a guideline about what to tell kids, and when.

Preschoolers (ages 3-4)

In terms of HIV/AIDS information, most pre-schoolers are too young for in-depth discussions about viruses and disease, but you can encourage them to ask questions if they hear something from friends or on TV.

Young children (ages 5-9)

Children at this stage are starting to understand more about the world and their place in it. They may have questions or fears about illnesses and diseases. They may also have heard about HIV/AIDS, but may not understand what it is and how it’s transmitted. Explain it to them in simple terms, and don’t get too technical. You can explain what the acronyms “HIV” and “AIDS” mean. And you may want to tell them that HIV is a germ in some people’s blood that can make them sick over time. Let them know that it’s not like a cold, though – they will need to understand that HIV is not that easy to catch.

Pre-teens (ages 10-12)

Pre-teens are becoming more concerned about their bodies and their looks. They may not talk as openly about their concerns with you, but it’s important to be available to talk. You should talk to them about sexuality, sexual orientation, sexual activities, how HIV is spread, and how they can protect themselves from HIV as well as other sexually transmitted infections. They need information about alcohol and drug use too, so that they can make healthy decisions.

HIV/AIDS Around the World

In the 2007 AIDS Epidemic Update, UNAIDS reports that the number of people living with AIDS has been adjusted from its previous reports.

The following figures are the new estimates from UNAIDS:

• Today, 33.2 million people live with HIV. (This figure has risen from 29 million in 2001.)
• 2.5 million people were newly infected with the virus in 2007.
• 2.1 million people died of AIDS-related illnesses in 2007.
• There are 6,800 new HIV infections a day (more than 96% are in low and middle income countries).

HIV/AIDS in Canada

There is also a concern in Canada. It's increasingly likely that children will know people affected by HIV/AIDS, says Simone Shindler, Program and Counseling Director of the Teresa Group.

The Public Health Agency of Canada provides these statistics:

• Approximately 58,000 Canadians are living with HIV/AIDS.
• Researchers project that 27% of that number are unaware they are infected.
• 2,518 Canadians were diagnosed with HIV in 2005, 13% more than were diagnosed in 2001.
• It is estimated that over 4,000 Canadians are infected with HIV every year.

HIV/AIDS in Sub-Saharan Africa

According to the UNAIDS 2007 AIDS Epidemic Report, Sub-Saharan Africa continues to have the highest prevalence of HIV/AIDS.

• 22.5 million people are living with HIV, which means 68% of all people living with HIV live in sub-Saharan Africa.
• 1.7 million people were newly infected with HIV in 2007.
• Unlike other regions, the majority of people (61%) living with HIV in sub-Saharan Africa are women.
• 76% of all AIDS-related deaths occurred in sub-Sahara Africa.
• Southern Africa (made up of the countries Botswana, Lesotho, Mozambique, Namibia, South Africa, Swaziland, Zambia and Zimbabwe) is the worst affected with 15% of adults living with HIV in 2005.
• South Africa is the country in the world with the most HIV infections.
• Former UN Special Envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa Stephen Lewis, Globe and Mail journalist Stephanie Nolen, and the band Hanson have been working to shed light on the HIV/AIDS crisis in Africa.

Conclusion

HIV/AIDS is part of our reality today, says Simone Shindler. And for this reason, we should talk to kids about it. Although it is entirely preventable, it is not going away. People continue to be infected or affected. We need to educate to prevent. We need to educate to dispel myths and stigma and to teach people to be compassionate and respectful.

Recommended Reading

Talking to Kids about HIV/AIDS. (2005). Ottawa, ON: Canadian HIV/AIDS Information Centre.

We Need to Know about AIDS: A Guide for Parents on Talking with Their Children about AIDS. (1997). Ottawa, ON: Health Canada.

Books about HIV/AIDS for Kids

Reading books with your kids about HIV/AIDS is a way of starting a conversation. Here are three books that Parent Books in Toronto has recommended:

1. Alexander, E., Rudin, S. and Sejkora, P. (1996). My Dad Has HIV. (R. W. Shipman, Illustr). Minneapolis, MN: Fairview Press.

This book relates the facts about HIV and AIDS so that children can understand, which can be a tool for teachers and counsellers.

2. The Group of Five (2002). Bye-bye, Secrets: A Book about Children Living with HIV or AIDS in their Family. Toronto, ON: The Teresa Group.

Written and illustrated by five girls ranging in age from ten to twelve, this book offers insight, support, and answers to questions about what it is like to live in a family affected by AIDS. This book also aims to decrease the stigma and secrecy that surrounds HIV and AIDS in large urban centres or rural areas.

3. Quinlan, P. (1994). Tiger Flowers. (J. Wilson, Illustr). Toronto, ON: Lester Publishing.

This is a story of a boy's journey through grief after losing his uncle to AIDS.

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