Cheryl Jackson

Sporting Kids

Fri, 26 Jun 09 18:23:19 GMT

Sadly, we've had some bad experiences with sports in my family.    Lots of good ones, but a couple that were so damaging, they may have changed the course of action for one of my kids forever.

When my daughter was in those Grade 4/5/6 years, she played softball in a community league and with her school. In the community league, she got up to bat in a regular rotation, took turns manning the bases and outfield, and basically got to play. On the school team, however, she was not one of the strongest players, and was usually kept sitting on the bench with a couple other players.   She and her team mates were frustrated, and when they asked their teacher coach why they weren't allowed to play, he said he needed to field a winning team. He said that unlike the community league team, where they payed to play, school teams were competitive.

Guess what?   My daughter didn't try out the next year. Nothing I could say would convince her, and truth be told, I understood her feelings. That was the end of her school sports career.

Thankfully, she is still active in some other ways, but she missed out on the fun and learning that can happen in school sports.

Kids learn a lot from sports. They learn how to work together, how to lead a group and how to win and lose. And very importantly, they are more likely to become healthy active adults, which is surely the goal. Our experts on Your Voice said school culture must change to allow all children, especially the kids who want to play but may not be the best, to participate. This is starting to happen in Ontario schools. Sadly, it's coming too late for my daughter.

Keeping the Peace

Wed, 17 Jun 09 19:04:22 GMT

One of my very dear friends had this conversation with his dad when he was a kid:

"Dad, Johnnie was mad at me today and tried to fight me."

"Well, that's no good," said Dad. "Come into the back yard and let me show you how to fight." My friend had his boxing lesson, but never did come to blows with his enemy.

Today, the conversation would likely have gone like this:

"Dad, Johnnie was mad at me today and tried to fight me."

"Well, that's no good," says Dad. "What caused the problem?" From there, Dad would probably encourage his son to talk to his classmate and work out a solution.

Conflict resolution has evolved, thank goodness, and is now a part of many discussions at home and in classrooms. My son once had a teacher who used the Tribes programme, which we talked about on Your Voice. At the time, I thought this was some brilliant idea she'd come up with to help a particularly difficult class work peacefully together. In fact, it's a well-known programme used all over North America, which teaches children to be mindful of others, to listen and to be respectful in their decisions as a group. In my son's case, it worked, and they were able to make a movie together, with minimal conflict. The next year, they became entrepreneurs and formed a company, each with their own roles and duties, no doubt built on the ideas of the Tribes programme.

All kids get into conflicts with each other. That's normal. They need to learn how to get out of them, and often they can manage to do that on their own. But there are learned skills that will make it easier. Watch our show and check out our other resources, including articles on conflict resolution in practice, and teaching kids to build healthy relationships. You'll find out what schools are doing to encourage conflict resolution, and how you, as parents, can help.

Eyes and Ears

Fri, 12 Jun 09 20:58:23 GMT

I'm am often guilty of ignoring the obvious when it comes to my kids, but from what I've heard, I'm not the only one.

Case in point: When my son was in Grade Six he complained of headaches when he came home from school.   I didn't think much of it, really.   It didn't seem to happen all the time, and I thought it was perhaps stress or an impending cold.   So I did nothing but listen to him.   Then one day he came home and said, "My friend Ali said he used to get headaches, and then he had his eyes tested and he needed glasses. So Ali thinks I should get my eyes tested."    Ouch. I was being told how to take care of my son by his 11-year-old friend.

It had never occurred to me to test my son's eyes. I didn't wear glasses. In fact, no one in our house did and I had never taken my kids to an eye specialist.   The only testing they'd ever had was reading the letters on the back of the doctor's office door, one eye at a time. I thought that was good enough.   Apparently not.

I took my son to the optometrist, and indeed, he needed glasses.

Turns out hearing and vision problems are often missed in kids. Parents just don't think about it. We learned this, and much more on our show "Testing Your Child's Senses: Why hearing and vision tests are essential to your child's learning."   Kids who can't hear or see well in class often present behaviour problems. Who wouldn't be frustrated if they couldn't hear the teacher or see the board? They may not achieve. They may have trouble playing sports with their friends.

Vision tests by an optometrist are covered by OHIP to the age of 20.   Some schools bring in private companies to do hearing and vision screening for a small charge. It's worth talking to your child's pediatrician about your child's senses. It could make all the difference.

Beyond the Basics

Thu, 04 Jun 09 19:30:03 GMT

While reading the research for our show Beyond the Basics, I came across some very interesting information about why schools are the way they are. In an article published by the Canadian Education Association, Jane Gilbert writes that "schools are organized to meet the needs of the Industrial Age. They are based on two key ideas: the importance of traditional disciplinary knowledge; and the need to sort people according to their likely employment destinations." This explains a lot about school.    Subjects are traditionally separated - math, language, art, science, music, etc.   And kids are sorted - academic, applied, special education, gifted.   This system was created as an efficient way to slot workers into jobs, much like factories separate and assign jobs.   This will NOT work for the 21st century.

Look around your workplace and you will likely see that things have changed. We still require people with areas of expertise, but we now work together more than ever. We talk about teams, team-building, brain-storming, creativity, multi-modal literacy, diversity, relationships, connections, and knowledge.   I know this is true of where I work, and I suspect it's true of many other workplaces - from banks, to factory floors.   It's not enough to know about one thing anymore. Now we must understand the whole, and how to apply our knowledge to the whole.

I've seen some change in schools.   More and more, my kids work in groups. They create websites, blogs and videos. They make public speeches and give presentations with Powerpoint and video.   They connect with others around the world, and in that way are global learners.   They volunteer to help others, they study how people live and work together, they learn to co-operate and collaborate.   I've read about elementary school philosophy classes, and ethics and civics being taught as early as Kindergarten.

These are called "21st century skills" and they are now part of the basics.     Advocates say we need even greater emphasis on these skills to prepare our kids for their futures. What I find so exciting about this change is that no child should be left behind. Unlike the factory model, in which some kids were streamed early into the wrong jobs, this model assumes everyone has a contribution. A team is stronger when it's diverse.   And all children have ideas.

Bring it on.

Shopping for Schools

Fri, 29 May 09 16:40:56 GMT

I have shopped for schools. Several times.

When my son was having a hard time in Grade 3, his pediatrician suggested he be tested by an educational psychologist. He was identified as gifted, and although I didn't exactly shop for a school, I did my research on the gifted program he was eligible for, compared it to what his neighbourhood school was offering, and chose the gifted program. Sure, he had to travel to get there, and the kids in his class came from a wide geographic area, but in hindsight I can say it was absolutely the right decision. He thrived.

When he got to Grade 6, I once again shopped for schools, thinking maybe there was something even better for him. After lots of research and school visits, I concluded his public school program was by far superior, and he stayed in the program. I was very satisfied that he was in the best school for him.

When he was in Grade 7, a teacher recommended he apply for a specialty computer arts program for high school. Once again, we went shopping, and after lots of research and another school visit, he applied to that program and got in. Looking back, I can say it suited him perfectly.

As my eldest daughter reached the end of elementary school, we once again went shopping. Our neighbourhood high school offers virtually no music program, but my daughter is very musical. I wanted her to be involved in extra-curricular activities at school, and I thought music would be at the top of her list. So she applied, through optional attendance, to a school not far from us that has an exemplary music program. Her name was picked from a hat and she got in. My youngest daughter will go there too.

I like to think that all public schools could offer all kids exactly what they need to reach their potential, but we have set up a system with specialty programs, so we shop. I think this is okay. What I question is parents shopping for schools based on information that may or may not have anything to do with what makes a good school. I'm thinking of published data on EQAO scores, family incomes, ESL programs, special ed programs, gifted programs and parental education. All of this information is available on the Ministry of Education's website. Some of it may be useful, but it actually may have nothing to do with how well the school or the students function.

This is a complicated subject, and we had a spirited debate about it on Your Voice. Claudia Hepburn and Annie Kidder did a great job of making their points. In the end, I'm somewhere in the middle. I wish our public system was built on the premise that every school offered its neighbouhood kids every opportunity, but I'm not willing to bet on it when I know the school across town is perfect for my child. What do you think? Should parents be able to shop for schools? What information is truly helpful in making a decision? And in the end, does it really matter which school our child goes to?

Anxiety Update

Fri, 22 May 09 16:50:49 GMT

Quick update on how my daughter did with her public speaking endeavor. If you've read my previous blog, you'll know that yesterday she had to speak for three minutes in front of her class. She wrote a speech about something she's interested in - happened to be toxic stress! - and memorized it. She worked hard on it, and practised and practised and practised.

Despite being well prepared, she was very anxious about it, so I gave her my best pep talk based on our recent Your Voice discussion about childhood anxiety. I think in this case also, practise will make perfect, because we both have a way to go with this.

When we caught up at the end of the day, I asked my daughter how it went. She said she was so nervous she couldn't breathe properly, and she realized when she sat down that she had forgotten three major parts of her speech. Hmmmm....

I'm proud of her for preparing so well, for getting up there and doing it. I'm grateful to her teacher for giving her the chance to practise this nerve-wracking skill. And next time, I'll give her the same pep talk, and hope it will get easier - eventually.

Childhood Anxiety

Thu, 21 May 09 16:19:01 GMT

I learned something from our discussion on childhood anxiety this week.   I'll find out later today if it helped.

My daughter is standing before her class today and speaking for three minutes about toxic stress. She could have chosen any topic that interests her, but after hearing me talk about our show on toxic stress, she was fascinated by the effect of stress on children's brains and bodies.

My daughter has worked very hard on her speech, because she's anxious about it. She doesn't want to make a fool of herself in front of her friends.   She wrote her speech, transferred it to cue cards, and has spent days talking to herself around the house, and to anyone who would listen. She has memorized the speech, and it's good.

The trickier part has been convincing her that she can stand in front of her class and deliver her speech. When you're anxious about something, it's easy to think of all the things that can go wrong. It can even keep you from trying in the first place.   After reading the research for our discussion, and listening to the experts, I told my daughter that it's normal to be nervous when speaking in public, but that she was well prepared, it was a fascinating topic, and to try to enjoy sharing her great story with her friends.

Some anxiety is normal. In fact, it's necessary. It keeps our kids from running out into traffic, and may motivate them to do well. But when anxiety gets out of hand, it can cripple a child.   An overly anxious child will refuse to try new things, will have trouble with friends, and will be so distracted by worries that he or she can't concentrate in school.

Unless the anxiety is very severe, most kids are never treated. That's where the school program comes in.   One of our guests, Paula Barrett, has developed a program for teachers and students that teaches kids, in the classroom, about anxiety, and gives them tools to combat it.   It's working fabulously, so why isn't it in all schools?

We get some answers on Your Voice.   And check in here later to see what happened on speech day.

Math? Yes!

Thu, 14 May 09 20:34:42 GMT

Math has not been a big seller in my house. Gender has had nothing to do with it. If I knew what did, I'd change it, because I think math offers a lot of possibilities, for girls and boys.

According to the experts we spoke with on Your Voice, eight out of ten future jobs will require math skills. This does not bode well for girls, since most girls leave math in the dust after high school, if not before. It's not that girls are not good at math. The most recent EQAO scores from the Education Quality Accountability Office in Ontario show that girls and boys in Grades 3 and 6 achieve at the same levels in math. However, when asked in the EQAO survey about math, far fewer girls say they like math, fewer say they find math relevant, and many more say they need help with math. So.....girls are good at math, but they think they're not.

We asked our math experts, all of whom were women, to explain this disconnect. They said girls receive very strong messages that math isn't cool, they don't need it, and it isn't for girls, and they get these messages from society at large, from peers, even from parents.
Our experts had lots of good ideas about how to change the way we talk to girls about math, so they see they can be cool and smart in math. Patricia Campbell pointed out celebrity Danica McKellar, who has written a book called Math Doesn't Suck. Fiona Dunbar hosted the first "Think About Math" conference in April for Grade 9 girls. And Lukrica Prugo works every day to get her Grade 8 girls excited about math, and confident in their abilities.

Let's hope they make a difference.

My Day at School

Thu, 30 Apr 09 17:11:05 GMT

It was a tough assignment.   I was asked to speak about my job at my daughter's school career day.    Three groups of about 20 or so Grade 7 and 8 kids came, one after another, to learn about tv journalism. The goal was to give them an idea of what my day is like, my education, my experience, what I like about my job and what qualities someone might have that would lead them to this profession.   Most importantly, however, I was not to embarrass my daughter, so I had to be very careful about what I would say and do.

I think I pulled off the last part.   No big embarrassing moments, as far as I know.    But the first part, how will I know?      Will some of those kids consider tv journalism as a career? One boy said he might. What I do know is that kids that age are smart, thoughtful, aware, and eager to learn about the world.

We talked about the details of my job, and I thought it would end there. I was expecting questions about tv make up, the job of the camera operators, how much money I made.   But not one student asked about any of that. In fact, once the details were out of the way, the conversations quickly morphed into the role of journalists in society, the different kinds of journalism, and ideas about how stories should be covered. We talked about the coverage of swine flu and the economy, and they had opinions, believe me. They thought journalists sometimes helped, but sometimes made things worse. They were skeptical of journalists who didn't tell all sides of the story, and they told me they wanted more context in journalism.

Hmmmm....who learned more at career day? Them? Or me?

Transitions

Tue, 21 Apr 09 19:41:25 GMT

I used to call one of my kids my "dig in her heels" kid. You know the type. If I said "I think you should play soccer with your friend this spring," she'd say, "No." If I said "We have to leave the park soon," she'd say "I don't want to leave."

This may not seem uncommon, but it was different from my other kids. I chalked it up to a strong will, a willingness to stand her ground and tell us what she liked and didn't like. I thought it might actually be a good thing, if I could just get through the constant battles.

I just found out on our show about transitions that, in fact, this behaviour may be rooted in anxiety.   Anxiety?    I had never, ever thought that being stubborn could be a sign of anxiety.

It makes sense, though, when you think about it. We get anxious when we don't know what's around the corner, what will happen next.   Adults feel it too, but for anxious kids, transitions are even worse, because they have less experience to rely on. They are scared, they want to stay with what they know, so they dig in. They say "No."

If I'd known that, would I have reacted differently? Probably.    I would have listened more carefully, tried to figure out why my child didn't want to go with the flow. I would have worked out some strategies to help her see what was ahead of her.

Alyson Schafer and Jennifer Kolari, two well-known and may I say, brilliant parenting experts gave us some excellent tips for dealing with kids who don't like transitions. You can find them at Your Voice.